The pain of losing someone is deeply rooted in one’s mind and heart, and moving on from it requires time. Sometimes, time is never enough, so acceptance becomes the only other option. If none works, then drowning in that pain will be a lifetime of suffering, never moving forward, moving backward. Guilt, hurt, hatred, and many more can cause that stumbling block to the healing process.
I know because I have started to let go. The guilt of not saying goodbye, the pain of them leaving, and the hatred towards them for abandoning me has been a constant companion. Every time I have to attend a funeral, it’s a constant reminder people will leave. That sort of life has been a burden I no longer wish to carry.
I want to let go. I want each one to rest in peace. I want to forgive myself. I want to forgive all of them. The memories should bring a happy hopeful smile. They were good. Perfect to the point I felt secure. I forget that they are gone whenever I remember those times as the warmth they left with the memories surrounds me.
I know they are peaceful in their cold. No worries and burdens weigh them down so they can fly with the birds above the clouds. The tears that fall from our eyes are a constant reminder we were loved by them, a true and pure love that transcends every being, soul, and spirit. A love greater than life and death. A love that is eternal in whichever form it comes in.
I’m grateful I got to know them, be with them, create memories, and cherish sad and happy moments with them. The pain of them gone is worth it. It brings a tear and a smile to my face and gives me the will and drive to go on. Now I know it is all worth it. I am willing to learn how to let go, heal, and smile through every tear through the bad and good days.
They never left; they are resting, waiting to meet me again one day. I will live and gather every precious memory so that I can tell it all to them and show them how well I continued in life. Theirs has ended mine is still going on. I will miss you, and I will live like there is no tomorrow. Rest peacefully in your cold comfort and wait for me. Until we meet again.
Alice Kieti
