Question 1. Are our kids happy now? Would they be more or less happy long term if we follow through?
Question 2. If we were to let go of this, would we be able to find happiness apart from each other?
Question 3. Are we prepared to live below our current lifestyle? Neither of us earn what our spouses make, so some things we are able to do now may not be practical.
Question 4. With that lower family income, are we able to provide for our kids, and meet their needs effectively so that their care and safety is not taken into question?
Consolidation of finances. What debts are you responsible for?
Add to that individual monthly costs: Cell phone, vehicle insurance, life insurance. Outside of things required for living, what are any luxury essentials we "need"?
I dont have a credit card and would prefer to maintain that, however I know they are useful in extenuating circumstances. Also, I am not opposed to us having separate accounts, if you feel that might make some things easier and give you the freedom to control your own money. Not my prefered option but I do understand wanting to buy things for each other and that type of thing. I would want us to work together to maintain our finances though. Set a designated time that we budget and review our expenses.
Childcare: On days or weeks we have both, I would imagine they would be attending different schools. How do we propose getting them to and from? Would it be prudent for me to get a night shift job to manage transportation for them? And also considering days when they are not in school, mine goes to one of the grandmothers houses.
Jobs: I will always encourage you to go for whatever job improves you or makes you happy. I do plan on going for that class to get a CNC job, but if I do that soon I intend to repay her for putting up the money (esp since it was her emergency fund she is planning to use to fund it).
Living arrangements: Between separation, divorce, and time for us to plan marriage (would you want to go ahead and try for a wedding or do a courthouse marriage and have a blowout renewal ceremony?), where do you plan on living?
Personal morals: I would rather not be living together until we are actually married. I know that might be an odd hangup considering things we have already done and all.
Church: Im not going to say we have to go to a pentecostal church, however, of all of the denominations I have attended, that is where i feel the most at home. There are some baptist churches that lean into some pentecostal thinking and vise versa. Not sure how you lean in your preference, more on the conservative line or a bit free thinking. I am somewhat in between personally.
Discipline: I think we are about the same in that aspect, warning/reprimand, then timeout, then corporal punishment depending on the offence and all. I know i am a bit lenient up to a point, unless its a respect thing. Also how would we approach discipline towards each others child?
Do you want another baby? I know weve both dreamed about it, but can we handle another? Financially, physically, mentally?
Any other questions you can think of?
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