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Oh god, my worst nightmare: Falling off an amusement ride *shudder* this start was fantastic! Something that ought to have been nothing but fun, but in reality, it turns out to be frightening. The main character miscalculates and thinks that she's safe, and this leads to something unexpected...
The Punctuation/grammar wasn't great, it had quite a lot of errors. The chapter names isnt good in my opinion, because at the last chapter it has to spoil the ending by namin the end chapter "Death" which spoils the end. Pretty decent descripive language, it was pretty gripping and pretty scary. However, I was a bit confused where the character was at the start. Sure in a roller coaster, but is it indoors or outdoors? There could be more descriptive language, but good job!
Amazing chapter! The blend between surreal horror, then plain and normal life, only to then merge back into horror - very well written! The poor main character hardly has time to breathe. The tentacles were creepy already, but the way the pink girl's face begins to change...spooky!
This is a pretty good, albeit short, description of a nightmare. Ad just like a nightmare, its logic follows its own rules: running in circles, beings starting behind one, yet somehow appearing in front all of a sudden, a door that never seems to be reached - the atmosphere is tense and dreary
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