Introduction
This novel is rooted in my childhood experiences, altered to protect my identity and to explore scenarios where I spoke out against my abusers.
This is a story based on my own childhood experiences. I changed names and relations to protect my identity since I still am not ready to confront many of the people involved.
I was also younger for some of the events, but I elevated the age to share it. At first, I was against changing the age because I wanted to keep it as true to my life as possible. But I finally realized it was more important for me to share my story in this form to help others. I am working on the full real story to possibly share some day, but that isn't going to be anytime soon.
Everything the father did is real. Though, I did alter events to imagine what would have happened if I ever told the truth. I did a lot of research on the interactions between law enforcement and younger victims. I also was in therapy for over 10 years and am finally in a place to share some of my story.
Though, admittedly, I also didn’t want a story that is a full legal thriller, so I briefly have scenes with these groups. I wanted to make something interesting with its own story outside of the abuse because we are not only what was done to us.
Einar and Eirik are both created from elements of myself. Their father is also directly based off my own. The Varsity hockey coach has elements of truth to him, though his position was not the same. There is no way to have him be in a similar position to Einar and Eirik without people I know from discovering his real identity.
Everything he does outside of what his relation to the twins is an embellishment. I'll probably never know his real story, but I felt I needed to create something more for a fictional story based off stories I've heard over the years.
Reader’s Note
At the beginning of specific chapters, I will try to have a trigger warning so you can skip the chapter if you would like.
Please approach this story with sensitivity as it includes descriptions of violence and abuse. Trigger warnings are provided for particularly intense chapters to offer guidance and care for readers’ experiences.
Throughout this novel, various works of art and their creators are referenced and celebrated for the impact they have had on the characters’ lives and the narrative itself. The inclusion of these artists and their creations is intended as an homage to their influence and does not serve as an endorsement of any personal beliefs or actions of the creators by the author, nor does it imply the creators’ endorsement of the themes, characters, or views presented in this work.
I love comments and go through them all and try to respond to everyone at least once. Not every comment, but every commenter. I also appreciate all upvotes.
While I do accept and encourage all support and criticisms, please be kind because the details of what happens to Einar and Eirik are very real. The dad was my dad. The other abusers I altered to change their identity. Not to protect them, but to protect me.
If this story isn't for you, that's alright. I know it isn't everyone that can read something like this. Though maybe that was mostly me. Once I started therapy, I was never again able to watch or read about stories like this. I couldn't watch any true crime or police procedural television series' anymore. But with the help of some special people, I'm happy and I feel like I'm living my life for the first time for myself.
It isn't the life I imagined, but I've met some wonderful people on here and other sites I have shared this story.
My Hope
Ultimately, this book aims to empower and inspire. It’s for those who have suffered in silence to find their voice, for society to recognize the subtle signs of abuse, and for survivors to envision a life filled with new dreams.
It is my goal to make this story and hopefully one or two sequels as strong as possible so I can take the proceeds and use them to create an organization to help other survivors with therapy so they can continue on their life’s journey without having to worry how to pay for what others did to them. Though, I could, and debated showing all the real statistics of events in America, it was worse than even I knew, and my goal isn’t to depress people, but to enlighten with my own story, and my own healing journey.
By sharing my story, I hope to help dismantle the lies that abusers use to silence their victims and to show that recovery and happiness are possible, even when our original dreams seem lost.
