The story begins with a man. A man named Neddison Eddison, or 'Ned' as his nickname, which is what he goes by most of the time. Quite a strange, yet intriguing name. And I guess that makes sense, considering that Neddison is quite strange himself. He is a very, very peculiar man.
'What does this man look like?' you may be asking yourself. Well, he's definitely not attractive. Some people may even consider him to be ugly, but his face is mostly just generic, yet intimidating. To be honest, he just looks like a rapist with his soulless dark green eyes and black hair. Oh, he's also slightly overweight, and he's not a very hygienic person. Due to him rarely showering, his face and hair are both very greasy. He also only wears blank t-shirts, mostly because he likes to be comfortable, but also because he prefers not to have too much attention drawn to himself. Along with the t-shirts, he only wears pants, never shorts, but he has another reason for that...
Some would consider Ned to be a careless person. And they would be right. Ned has reached a point in his life where he suffers from a severe lack of motivation to do anything. His hobbies are playing video games, watching TV, and masturbating to porn, some very… strange porn. And that would be it for his hobbies. Other than that, he goes to work. His job… well, it doesn't really have a specific name, but he removes toxic chemicals from the environment. He didn't want to end up where he did, but he abandoned his original future plan long ago.
Growing up, Ned was somewhat of a misanthropist. He only had a small group of friends, but that was by choice. He hated the expectations that society and his parents had for him. Everyone seemed to want him to love sports, get good grades, go to college, and marry a bitchy wife. Ned hated this. While he did get good grades, he despised school. The only reason he managed to get A's and B's with minimum effort was because of his extreme abundance of intellect. Well, there was another factor, but we'll dismiss that for now.
Due to the trauma of… something, and constant pressure from his godawful parents, he actually did end up going to college. In fact, he received a scholarship and got into a really good one. But school isn't for everyone, especially not for Ned, so he dropped out. Then he became homeless. You may be thinking that this is an exceptionally stupid move on Ned's part, but you're wrong. He actually preferred being homeless over being in college.
So that brings us back to Ned's current job. As I have already stated, Ned is now a toxic waste worker, and he got there because he unexpectedly found someone who wanted to hire him while he was homeless. Now, you may be thinking, 'Wow, this guy sounds like a total disappointment, he must be very lonely'. You're wrong again… That is, if you actually were thinking that… you fucking retard. Anyway, Ned is not lonely, besides the fact that he only has one friend of course, but Ned has a wife, he met his future wife when he was 22 years old and homeless. Her name is Alexis, who was 19 at the time.
Alexis looked like a stripper, not one of those ugly ones that have been smoking for too long, but she was attractive, yet people still thought she looked like a pole dancer for some reason. Alexis had a chestnut hair color and bright blue eyes. She could be oblivious at times, but she had a decent sense of humor and shared a lot of the same beliefs and political views with Ned, which is why he felt an attraction towards her.
Ned and Alexis kind of moved the relationship along too fast, but they don't regret it. Ned got married a few months after he met Alexis. Yes, he was still only 22. They couldn't go on a honeymoon since they were poor and living in a run-down apartment, but Alexis conceived right after their wedding, creating their daughter, who they named Echo Tiara Eddison. Tiara was her middle name because it was Alexis's. And her first name… well, Ned just liked the name and thought it was unique, okay? Leave him alone.
So that brings us to the present. Ned is 28, Alexis is 25, and Echo is five, almost six. Ned's lack of motivation has caused his life to become uneventful, but that all changed with one, single fuck up...
Krep Woman
