I believe most people are in love with their life. Many might describe it as being the main character in a movie. Sure, there are some bad parts to it, but that's just how it works. You don't know what to expect, since the genre of your movie doesn't present itself. It could be horror, drama, comedy, or adventure. Most of these genres divide into even smaller parts which are the details of life. Some have an adventure and then romance, mystery, drama, fantasy, or comedy. Unfortunately, in my case, I'm not the little princess sitting at the rear side of her castle waiting for her boyfriend to make her the queen.
My side of the story is dark. Darker than the shades of midnight. Darker than the shadows under Sherlock Holmes's hat. Even darker than a mystery. My life is a mix of tragedy, horror, drama, and psychological thriller. Something that bears in my mind even when I do stuff that isn't even close to being related to this terrifying part of me.
When people meet me, they only see the sun-lighted shade, just like when you walk into a room with closed lights. If the moon lights in a position a place, you can see only that edge, but if the room has no light, you will feel as if your head has been wrapped into a blindfold. As if someone from behind you just wanted to play a dirty game.
Only, the diary I used to write every day, doesn't present the light side.
February 24th,
Dear Diary,
Ms. Leonora was sharing different poems so we could, later on, write our own. I was already a writer of my own. The class for me was way too easy since I used to live in America.
Now I want to go back to my hometown, but my mom is from Ukraine, as well as her family. Without Mom’s permission, I wouldn’t be able to go back. I doubt that during college Mom will let me go somewhere other than Ukraine. So I’m stuck here and there’s no place to escape. I tried to have a connection with America as much as I could. I communicate still with my friends there daily. I feel lonely though. I have barely made any friends here, and some are even toxic. Thankfully, none of them is in my class. I’m finally in high school and everyone is new to the school, which gives me a new chance to find people who are kind and friendly. Ms.Leonara kept looking at me as she left a piece of paper on each student’s desk.
“Emily please go outside for a second, I need to talk to you.”
I slowly laid my gaze on her and left the room with a worried face. This has never happened to me; getting kicked out for not paying attention. What is she going to do? What if she suspends me for a day? My mind blasted with questions which made me even more anxious.
As soon as Ms. Leonara finished sharing the poems with the whole class, she came outside. Her sad smile fixed my emotions a little. She seems as if she feels bad about something. “Emily, are you alright?”I looked at her and cleared my throat which was ready to blurt out all my sadness that I kept to myself all these years. I stumbled on my words because I had no clue what excuse should stumble out of my mouth.
“Yeah, it’s just a big change, from America to Ukraine and from middle school to high school.”
She looked at me with empathy in her eyes and patted my shoulder, “Everything’s going to be fine. If you ever need someone to talk to, just pass by my office. Right now though, you need to pay as much attention as you can because it’s an important lesson.”
I nodded and we entered the classroom together.
The class was reading the poems peacefully, but as soon as it happened the world was chaos. I know I'm way too old to be keeping this diary, but these days I can't live without you. I hear bombs, voices, screams, and terror shaking my fantasy world, I remember way too well what happened yesterday, and from today till the end of my life, I'll be holding this book as if it were a piece of gold.
I stood there, for a second, frozen like ice. My body was turning blue from the coldness that was held in the Russian's hearts. Everyone in that room had the same reaction. As if we were statues in a museum, waiting for visitors to see us. My teacher was the first to unbreak from the ice, but as soon as she was about to take the first step she shattered into tiny ice cubes. Fainted.
Eva K
