My worst nightmare became myself Подписаться

It was probably the turn for the worst on my behalf , letting one little white line take my entire life away. I use to love life and enjoy everything. I had friends and always wanted to be around my family. We were always together doing family stuff but now it want ever be the same. Let me introduce myself , I'm Markie Wilkerson. I'm 27 years old and have 4 handsome , incredibly smart an strong sons. I was blessed with an incredible family and support system. I have 2 beautiful sisters and a loving mother an father. Also I have 2 of the most handsome and sweet nephews and 3 gorgeous , sassy nieces whom I adore so much. We used to be inseparable and always stayed in touch. Its hard to say but I'm the cause of our separation. I don't no we're it all went wrong but I was introduced to Methamphetamine around 4 years ago and it's had it's hold on me ever since that quiet late Saturday evening and That's honestly a night I will not ever forget. My cousin , who was living with me at the time , came home with a friend of hers and he had the biggest hunk of crystal Methamphetamine in a bag filling his hands. My cousin said It would give me energy to clean my house and handed me a piece of a clear rock like chunk that looked like a piece of broken glass. They left and I proceeded to the bathroom to figure out how I was supposed to do it. I ended up after several minutes grabbing a card and crushed it up. This was the first time I ever snorted anything in my life by the way so I wasn't sure of how or what to do. I grabbed the straw scared to death and placed it in my nostril. I began to inhale thru my nose and once it was fully in my nasal passage what I felt next was where my addiction began. I sat for a minute and the burn from the white crystalized powder was so intense and so bad that my eyes started to water. I felt as if everything I had weighing on my shoulders just lifted right away and I instanly became numb and so full of energy. I spent hours on hours cleaning and recleaning that entire night. I couldn't lay down for nothing. I smoked at least 3 packs of methanol Newport cigarettes and did not get hungry at all. No one could of told me nothing. I was taking a break , chilling on my loveseat scrolling through Facebook and messaging everyone I new when suddenly I saw bright lights outside and the sound of a truck coming down my driveway. So I unlocked the door thanking it was my cousin but to my surprise it was not my cousin at all. Infact it was far from her , I was so shocked and high I couldn't stop shaking and couldn't control my anxiety one bit. It was my ex boyfriend and his friend , shocked and anixous , I sat back on the loveseat and began messaging our mutual friend whom i thought would of warned me that they were headed to my house. He never responded though. They were intoxicated on alcohol and began asking me questions and being very aggressive. I was so upset and in my feelings about the things they were saying so I got up and went to the bathroom were of course I was followed an got downed by my ex. I loved this man or I thought I did. I was so upset and mad I started crying an begging them to leave. His friend said he was just trying to tell me that my ex was really in love with me an wanted to be with me. Unfortunately though , my ex stated that the comment was false and began calling me names as he was exiting my home. His friend remained inside and tried to continue his speech but I wasn't inthosed at all. I'm assuming he realized I wasn't interested and he ended up walking out too. I couldn't figure out what was going on an My heart was broke already from being told how he cheated on me multiple times and I honestly thank I became an addict when I experienced heartache and pain from that man. I was devastated and the only thang that helped me get over it was my worst nightmare. I was no longer sad and I didn't cry over it. I no longer felt like I was depressed and had something wrong with myself. In that few minutes , I was carefree and numb an that's what I felt I needed.