It is Wednesday of 15th March and the day when my vacation are about to end . I am in Barnett State University doing my masters in English literature, It is my second degree after completing master’s in philosophy. It is obvious that I belong to the group where every student is older than their required age in order to enroll for the course. It is almost 11’o clock and I am still lying in bed even though I wake up around eight.
“Breakfast is ready dear” mum’s voice reached my ear from downstairs.
I get out of my bed while I am still in my nightdress, I make up my hair and wash my face in bathroom which is in front of my room. Our house is not as big as other’s living on our street but still it is big enough for the three of us. My dad works in a software company but thanks to the enhancement in technology most of his work is usually done from home while my mother is a pharmacist who works at the Mount Sphere hospital which is about an hour far away from our home but just a few minutes away from my collage. So most of the time I go with my mum in car then walk for about fifteen minutes from there to reach my collage. It was all on break while my holidays were still intact but from tomorrow all of this routine is about to start from scratch.
“I am getting late for my work, love” said my mum while she ask my dad to help her by making some toasts.
“Just a minute, mum” I say while I am yawning which make me repeat myself “Coming mum”.
Usually she goes to her work before 10’o clock but today we are about to have our breakfast at 11. Which justify all the ruckus downstairs, as my dad helps her by making toasts while she is making coffee and setting up the table along with packing her lunch which usually is just some fruits. The clank sound is forming as the result of my mum placing the plates all together on table. I am going downstairs while I am still in my Pj’s, both my mum and dad are starring me as I entered in kitchen. In our whole day only dinner is the time when we can relax and have our food with ease.
“Why are you not ready yet? Just because you are free doesn't mean you can waste your time” said my dad while he was refilling his second cuppa.
“Apologies dad, I had a late night”
I never had a friendly chat with my father from past five year, when everything changed. It was the day when I had to decide which stream I had to choose for my masters, the argument that happened between three of us was the worst that had ever happened.
“So, mum are we having our lunch today that we planned last week”
“Sorry Richy, you can see I am already late for work. I might not even get any time for lunch today” she say while checking her today’s schedule and her emails.
“It’s the same excuse every time” I mumbled while I took a sip of my coffee.
The coffee’s aroma diffused within the room, which is usually filled with the lavender’s fragrance. After having breakfast mum rushed towards her car and went away without waisting even a second of her time. My dad is having his day off due to some technical issues with the update in his company. Dad stood up from his seat and asked me if he can accompany me to lunch, suddenly I feel like I am in different reality as it is the first time he ever talked to me in whole year. Even though I am happy but I am not able to gather up the courage to reply in positive, I can look at his disappointed face which he tries his best to hide from me and mum.
“I have to buy some stuff along with books for my college, I might get late for lunch.” I say as I go to my room upstairs to have shower and get ready.
I am still exhausted as I slept around half past four in morning due to conference regarding the philosophical aspect of people regarding space travel and religion. It is now twelve and I am all ready to do some shopping which involves new textbooks, some papers for making my notes and few stationary stuff.
“The money you need is on the table, Richy.” Said my dad while he is doing some programming on his new app that he is working now a days in his free time.
“It’s alright, dad. I have already saved my money for these kinda stuff” I say as I count my savings, I am still 200 bucks short so I picked half of the money from table.
“Do you need a ride”
“Actually its not that far, so I will be walking there with my friend” I lied.
It is the second time in a single day when he tried to spend some time with me and I being a jerk refused him coldly. Honestly it is not fully my fault, who would have thought that dad will be asking these stuff out of the blue and it startled me. Usually when I go out I took bus or cab but this time I decided to walk all the way to the market which is in totally opposite direction that of my college. The weather’s nice as the sun is shinning brighter than other days but the coldness from the wind at small interval is all I need to enjoy it fully without regretting my decision of walking at all. I am fully prepared for today as it is going to be a long day as the market is very far from my home, it takes a cab to reach there in about one and a half hour which is when the road is empty.
“I don’t think this house was here just a week ago” I mumbled as I reach Specter Lane.
Here all the roads are separated by the lanes where houses are built but it doesn’t mean that there are no such thing as street. Usually the areas under which apartment and houses are build is separated by street and lane respectively. This is one of many things that I like about my town, as this helps in organizing each and every part of it effortlessly. Market is situated in the middle while streets on the south of it and lanes on the other end. The market itself feels like we are in another town because of the swarm of people among which some are tourists who are visiting from nearby cities and also countries. But the shop that I need to go is just outside the market, called Need It All shop run by my group mate due to which I get some discount which helps me to buy stuff I need while balancing my monthly budget.
“Richy…hey, rich…”voice reach my ear from behind. At this time I am already far away from my home so it cant be my dad or mum for some reason. But anyhow it is a familiar voice so I turned back. But no one is there, thinking it might be a mistake I started walking again.
“Don’t you dare come near me, you filthy mutt” again the voice appeared but this time I am sure it is none other than Rick “The Jokester” not because he wants to be one but because of his silly behavior.
“Rick…where are ya?” as I turn around.
“In here come help me, this suckers gonna bit me.”
To my amazement he is inside someone’s house and the guard dog is now all over him, luckily no one is home so I opened the gate and let the dog come at me so that he can jump through the wall and as the dog arrived near me, I rushed outside the house while closing the gate so that the dog couldn’t came out.
“Should I even ask what this was all about?” while catching my breath.
“It’s all your fault.” Said Rick with a little smile as he already knew that was going to happen.
“What? How come its mine, you were inside the house of stranger and I helped you to safely came out of that situation yeah its my fault”
“Oh, come on. Don’t get mad, I mean I shouted your name while I walking on that house wall which made me lose my balance and I fall” he said while making the same silly face that he always make when things gets sideways due to his foolishness.
“Anyway where are you going instead of enjoying your last day of vacation huh?”
“Going to buy some stuff for my next semester until you strike.” I say while looking at my watch as that shop is usually close around five in evening and I’ve just arrived at halfway and it is already 1’o clock.
We start to move toward that shop as he said he also need some book that I find to be a lie at some extent as in my whole first year I’ve never ever seen that guy reading even a comic book, beside his dad is a businessman and he already have no issue with him not studying at all. As it is already lunch time he insist to eat somewhere near as from now on all the restaurants might be filled with people and there could be a chance that we don’t get a place but due to late breakfast I am already full so I tried to convince him to eat a bit later. The weather has now changed from cold breeze to unbearable warmth of sun, the weather in our and some near by towns is as reliable as politicians. It is the same line that put me in tough spot when I was in first year and I said the same line in front of our town mayor. I was suspended for a week when I didn’t change my statement and write a apology letter to the mayor, to my defense it was and is against my right and also philosophically there was nothing wrong with that statement, it is just a truth that people can not handle easily.
“It’s already half past one we need to rush if we want to reach there on time” I say while my mind is having uneasy feelings and I don’t want to be in trouble on my first day.
“Don’t worry we will reach there on time and even if the worst happened we can ask them to give us more time, its not like that the owner does not know us”
At that time I know I have a companion that will be a baggage for me and I can’t let him create problems in my way so all I have to do is just ignore whatever he says and look toward my destination. It’s not like he is my friend, naturally anyone who have a nature like me can never make friends even if he wants to. While discussing all the things we done during the vacation we are about to reach the shop as it is now visible from the road where we are standing. It is already two past ten but still we are having enough time in which I can buy my stuff and check for the new books that might be available which is the main purpose of my going there.
“See, didn’t I told you it will be fine?”
“We reach here on time and now you can spend as much as you want” he say while laughing and patting my back on the same time.
“Like you even cared for a second, I know if the shop had been closed you would have just made those books delivered at your home” I mumbled while I start waking toward the shop from this distance it do not see any crowd in the shop so I am relieved.
“What if everyone purchased all the books that I need before me?” thought came in my mind which startled me and I run toward the shop in distress that I might not be able to get any of the book that I need tomorrow.
To my easement there is no one in the shop even Evan is not here today. He is Rick’s friend who helped me by providing the books we need at half rate. I rang the bell and Evan’s father came out from the lunch room, even though he is in his fifties, he looks relatively young and polite. We started to gather up books that we need for next term but before that I went to check the shelf titled “new releases” for new books that were going to dispatch today. Even though the shop looks kinda small from outside but it is much spacier from inside. I think the last time when I came here was in my last year of my master’s (when I was completing my philosophy degree). Relative to that time it looks like the shop has been renovated not so long ago.
I am still finding the shelf related to new releases for this months and it was shifted to the very end of the shop. In excitement I run toward it, when suddenly I hit someone and we both fell down and it was completely my fault as at that time I was looking o the floor instead of looking straight. After getting up I ask the person that fall down because of me, just to find that she is a girl who was new in town as I’ve never seen her before. She started picking her books up and rejected me when I offered my help. One of her book is “Tough To Easy - English History”, I got surprised as it is the same book for which I came for, and also if she is having that book it means she is in my college too but only our class is related to English literature is there.
“Um… Excu.. Excuse me, where can I find this book?” my voice start to get stutter because of the stress.
“Oh! That book you can find it under the English section on the last shelf.” Joseph (Evan’s father) said while cleaning the books that he is going to place at the front shelf at shop.
“It was the last one that I got sorry but you have to wait for now” the girl said while she went for check out at front desk.
My legs start to shake suddenly and my body suddenly felt so heavy that I was not able to gather up the strength to stand. As soon as Joseph picked that book I ran toward him and asked him to give me that book instead of her. Deep inside I knew the answer so I try my luck but the result was same. I forget about everything at that point and started panicking seeing me like this, rick asked her again explaining my situation but she didn’t budge fro her decision.
Now even keeping my eyes open was a big deal for me so I decided to close them for a second. After some time I fell down on the floor half consciously after which everything was blurred and when I opened my eyes I find myself in the hospital again while rick sleeping on the chair beside me and my mum standing near my bed holding my hand and my father talking to doctor outside the door. I was still far from conscious so there might be a chance that everything that I saw was just a dream.
“Thank you so much Rick for informing us” mm said while still holding my hand tightly.
“You welcome ma’am”
“It is late, and you have college tomorrow so you should head back home” mum said while looking outside in order to understand what my father is talking about with doctor fr such a long time.
I am still feeling low but now I am able to listen others clearly. I was about to open my eyes when suddenly Rick whispered “don’t forget to attend your first day at college, I’ll be waiting”. As soon as rick left the room my mother start to cry silently, I can tell as her tears start dripping on my hand she was holding. My father came while his eyes were red as he was crying just a minute ago. The doctor gave us five minute as I was still under observation.
“He is tested positive for first stage of clinical depression”
“No.. But a month ago, they said everything was fine”
“How should I know?. He never shared anything with me”
“Who’s fault was that?” she said while she stood up from her seat and went outside.
He stood there just looking at me while trying to hold off his tears and went outside. After some time the doctor came in and take the final test and told me that I will be discharged after an hour. On our way home neither my mum nor my dad said anything to me or each other. I was sitting on the backseat while keeping my head down and thinking about all the problems that I created for them. After we reached home I changed my clothes and get a shower then went to my room directly to sleep. The medication were increased along with the doses as the problem was increasing as the time passed by.
Next day in the morning the feeling got worse as I was not able to purchased my stuff at all. I was not able to sleep due to which I was all exhausted the other day, around 6:45 am I started panicking and almost shouted in pain. I was about to hit my head at the wall when suddenly my mum came into my room and tries to comfort me but nothing worked so she went downstairs to fetch my meds that were still lying on the dinning table. I was now feeling much better all thanks to the meds as it was already morning I went to take shower and took out my new dairy from the study table’s second drawer which I usually use as my personal journal that was recommended to me by my therapist about two years ago.
“If you want you can take an off for day” mum said while she checked up on me.
“ I told you I am fine mum. Moreover it’s not the first time that I suffered from it” while I made up my bed and cleaned my room while she was standing near the door.
“Alright, I am about to make breakfast so come fast” while she closed the room behind her.
That look she gave was the last thing that I wanted, after the last night quarrel I was almost sure that I would be in trouble as dad was furious about what happened and was blaming mum for everything that happened as she was only one who knew the reason behind the problem.
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