Have you ever stared at a bright light? To stop the rushing flow of tears that are threatening to overtake your eyes and stain your cheeks, falling rapidly onto your favorite shirt leaving wet black polka dots against the gray backdrop that's laced in thread that's wrapped around your chest. You hold your sullen gaze, eyes burning like salt in a fresh wound stinging from not allowing yourself to blink. Your eyes wide.
If someone didn't know any better and could see you in this moment they would undoubtedly mistake you for one of the neighborhood crack addicts that roam the streets. Their eyebrows raised so high they practically kiss the edge of their hair lines from eyes gaping wide open. Induced by stimulants and chemicals, twitching and whispering to themselves.
Still staring to no avail the dam has broken and the flash flooding wipes out the foundation, mascara, and blush, the makeup smearing together as you wipe at your face pressing down on your skin harshly, leaving red marks in it's wake. The face paint, ivory, peach, and onyx creating money Brown hand prints on your jeans as you wipe your hands on both of your thighs.
You clench your teeth together like a machine press biting down abruptly and hard the sound ringing in your ears, wincing from the sharp jolt of pain felt like a bone breaking from an unwanted impact or pressure.
Grabbing hold of your hair that's neatly knotted into a bun that sits perfectly on the very top of your head your fingers wrap around chunks of hair ripping downward with great force causing the hair tie to bust apart like a balloon with too much air in it.
It flies across the room as your yanking strands of hair from your aching scalp. Frantic and exhausted you slump to your knees like someone who has lost all control of their body, pain pierces through your kneecaps like someone took a steal bat and hit you in your legs at a high speed.
You can be heard screaming from outside you're raised window in the next Room your neighbor hears the alarming sound you have produced uncontrollably. You should care about her hearing such a thing but you can't, how could you? When you've reached the epitome of hell that lives within. "Let them come." you whisper, "I need help."
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