Automotive Maquila Co. Ltd. “Subsidiary”
Industrial Park Subsidy & Piggybacking
Somewhere in the 3rd World
Dear Recruitment Leader:
I am writing to express my interest in your open position of “Strategic Consulting Coordinator Associate in Program Management of Operations Business Analysis and Implementation of Worldwide Tactics” published on your LinkedIn website and which application I submitted through the official “Unknown Co. Ltd.” website, not without first filling out yet another registration form to access your system. Luckily, the multi billionaire Company responsible for the design of your database enables the option of importing ones’ information only by granting LinkedIn unlimited access to your profile (talking about creativity, not to mention practicality and privacy).
As a matter of fact, I would like to express my interest in joining any administrative position available within your Company, truth to be told, it makes little or no difference the kind of job I happen to be hired for, as a matter of fact, it also makes no difference whether I work at your company or any other “BS Maquila Subsidiary” (the whole Industrial park is plagued of them).
Based on the job description itself and some of the “Minimum, Required, Desired, A+Plus” list of requirements, I think I am a solid candidate and a future role model of an employee due to my submissive and humble temper, high developed stamina to take shit from both local and overseas superiors (official and unofficial) and a relentless loyalty to my managers — even when they are less qualified than me, get paid 5 times my salary and don’t hesitate or get embarrassed to show off their limited competencies, English skills, common sense and judgment in managing people.
Furthermore, based on my former background, several years of professional experience, and hours of corporate workshops in Emotional intelligence-related topics, I have come to develop a very flexible sense of dignity and a 100% tolerance to frustration (reaching a point where resilience is no longer needed, it doesn’t figure in my vocabulary anymore) not to mention my adaptability to new day-to-day imposed tasks and activities way outside my job description.
Additionally, the core values of your Company, productivity, and efficiency, backed up by your ideas and efforts to constantly lowering employees benefits, the use of Outsourcing agencies and your steady percentage of annual salary increase (3–4 % tops) plus your creativity expressed through the adoption of legal schemes to avoid local taxes and seize cheap labor as its most.
Sincerely: another fuck in household debt.
Спасибо за чтение!