The group sat in a three walled house. Cameras and an audience sat in the location of the fourth wall. Pun intended.
Chef entered the room.
"Honey! I'm home!" he called out, walking to the sofa that his soon to be wife was sitting on.
"Are you excited for tomorrow honey?" Lyla asked.
"I can't wait," Chef stated, putting his hand on her hand. The two kissed.
There was a knock on the door.
"I wonder who that could be," Lyla stated.
"We're about to find out," Chef winked.
He walked over to the door and opened, it was good friend from the city Rylan, and his girlfriend Kacy and his uncle Kay.
"What the fuck?" Kay asked. "How'd we get here?"
"Hey, what did I say in the car, no swearing," Rylan said calmly.
The audience laughed.
"What a goober that Kay is," Chef stated. "Come in,"
The three walked in.
"Guys, this is my lovely fiance, Lyla. Lyla, these are my friends the city," Chef introduced.
The group exchanging handshakes. Except for Uncle Kay, he stood in confusion.
"C'mon Kay, don't be rude. Introduce yourself," Rylan said, nudging him on.
"Wait, can you all see me?" Kay yelled.
"Don't be silly, why wouldn't we be able too?" Kacy asked.
"SHIT! This must be some alternate reality or something!?" Kay yelled.
A shotgun blast echoed through the room. Kay looked down to see a hole in his chest.
"Okay boomer," Billy stated, putting his shotgun away.
The crowd roared into laughter as the cat laughed as well.
"Oh Billy, such a goober," Chef chuckled.
Billy walked down the stairs and rested on the cough. He was an elderly man, he looked like the old crazy guy form Gravity Falls.
"Hey our stuff is still out in the car, is there somewhere to put it in here?" Rylan asked.
"Of course, we have a spare bed room upstairs for just for you guys!" Lyla exclaimed.
"OH DILLON!" Chef yelled.
"What?" the angst man himself stated, slumping into the room.
The crowd laughed.
"Be a doll and get their bags from their car," Lyla asked.
"Whatever mom," Dillon sighed.
"Bring your sister!" Lyla called out.
Dillon sighed, the crowd laughed. He walked up the stairs yelling Chloe's name.
Chef and Lyla sat on the couch with Billy. Rylan and Kacy sat on a smaller couch off to the side.
"So, how was the drive up here?" Chef asked.
"A little bumpy, but we got here no problem." Rylan answered.
"He got lost and I had to drive," Kacy blurted.
The audience laughed.
"I did not get lost," Rylan retaliated.
Kacy stared at him. The crowd chuckled.
Dillon and Chloe walked down the stairs and headed to the front door. When they opened the door, Dillon's childhood friend Jafar was outside.
"Oh god," Dillon mumbled.
"What do we say about saying the lord's name in vein," Chef said.
"Sorry dad," Dillon sighed.
The three headed outside. The five within the home continued their conversation, but they interrupted by a knock at the door shortly after the three kids left.
"That was fast," Lyla said.
Chef went to open the door, but rather than the kids being outside, it was a man in a trench coat and a top hat. He turned around and removed his hat, revealing himself to be Mr. Smith, Chef's neighbor.
"Mr. Smith, what are you doing here?" Chef asked.
"Just making sure everyone is here... on time. Don't wanna mess the wedding," Mr. Smith explained.
"Well, thanks for you're consideration, would you like to come in?" Chef asked.
"No thank you. I'm afraid I'm quiet busy today, I have preparations to make. And congratulations on tomorrow, I'll see you then," Mr. Smith said, placing his back on and walking away.
"Strange," Kacy mumbled.
"What's that honey?" Rylan asked.
"I feel like I've seen that man somewhere before," Kacy answered.
"Huh, me too," Rylan replied.
"That is quite strange. Mr. Smith has been our neighbor since we left the city," Lyla explained.
The door swung open, Dillon dragged along a suit case, Chloe stomped past him yelling at someone on the phone. Jafar lugged in all of the luggage by himself. Then he had to try to close the door.
"So, are we good for dinner?" Lyla asked.
"Nope, we still have one more guest that we await," Chef answered.
Coincidentally, there was a knock at the door. Chef opened the door, outside stood his old, lifelong childhood friend, Sir Felix. He wore an all white suit wielded a can with a diamond on it.
"My good friend Felix, come in!" Chef exclaimed, stepping aside to let his friend in.
"It is good to be here, old sport," Felix stated, entering the home.
Those who did not know each other introduced themselves. After the chit chat, it was night time now. The kids were going to bed and the adults were getting tired. Eventually everyone went to bed.
The studio closed down and the audience left. The cameras were off, the crew were alone.
Billy Billy used this to his advantage. He wandered down the stairs and into the basement through the secret entrance under the stairs. Within the basement was his lab. He didn't know why it was there, or he knew it was there. All he knew was that he needed to be down there, and he needed to make something.
But today Billy slipped up, he left the door cracked open, a small sliver of light filled the living room. Rylan went downstairs to get a drink, and when he entered the living room, he noticed the door.
Rylan went inside and saw Billy building a machine.
"What're ya doing?" Rylan asked.
He startled Billy, he instinctively whipped around branding his sidearm and opened fire on the unsuspecting normal man. But, somehow, Rylan perfectly dodged the bullet. The two were both surprised by this super-human feat.
"H-how... y-you... WHAT?!" Rylan screamed in confusion.
"Shut the fuck up homie, I'm tryna keep this secret!" Billy squealed, wiggling his way over t Rylan to silence him.
"Hey, hey man. I'm not about this Nazi shit," Rylan said attempting to leave.
"Who the hell brought Nazis into this, are you retarded or something?" Billy asked.
"Hey, that's offensive, you can't say that word, you'll hurt someone's feelings," Rylan whined.
"Oh boo hoo. If you tell anyone about this, I'll tell everyone what you just did,"
"What're you talking about, I didn't do anything!"
"Yeah you did, I seen you dodge that bullet, like it was a little ball thrown at you or something,"
"I don't know how I did that... it just kinda happened,"
"You got them super powers kiddo,"
Rylan stood in silence. He didn't want to believe what Billy Billy was saying to him. How could he have powers, that's crazy. Super powers are bad, if you have super powers then that means your bad. The government will take you away if you have powers... like what happened to Rylan's parents. He doesn't want to leave Kacy.
"You do, don't you?" Billy Billy asked.
"My parents had them... and they were taken away. I don't wanna be taken away," Rylan said.
"Then keep my secret, and I'll keep yours,"
Billy continued his work, Rylan let his curiosity get the better of him and he began to examine the room. It had blueprints all over the place. Random drawing and incomprehensible nonsense written all over white boards.
"What're you making?" Rylan asked.
"I don't know. Some weirdo in a space suit told me that this place was under my house and that I needed to make someting, so here I am," Billy explained.
"So, you're just... making something?" Rylan asked confused.
"Well, I kinda know. It's some form of weapon... I think. I call it the Cosmic Shotgun," Billy stated.
"That sounds like a weapon," Rylan said.
"Maybe," Billy said. "Just feels right."
The next day...
Chef woke up early so he could leave before seeing the bride, since it's bad luck to see the bride on the wedding day before thE wEdding.
As Chef walked down the stairs he had the sudden urge to jump down, so he did, but he landed his ankle wrong. He couldn't feel it though. As he entered the kitchen, Dillon, Billy, Rylan, and Kacy were in there. Chef was at the sink washing his hands, when he scrEamEd for no reason. Out loud, very loud.
Everyone stared at him. He didn't know what happened, he didn't know that he had screamed.
"You good old sport?" Felix asked moon walking into the room.
"Why were you moon walking?" Chef asked.
"I wasn't." Felix responded.
"Are you okay Chef?" Billy asked, shooting a quick glance to Rylan.
"I'm... I'm fine, just excited I guess," Chef responded.
Billy looked back to Rylan, then Rylan discreetly shook his head.
Chloe walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, "who ever screamed woke up mom," she looked to Chef, "you better run homE slicE."
"What'd you say?" Chef asked.
"I said you better run dad," she answered.
"C'mon old sport, me, you, Mr. Billy, and Mr. Grubb Jr will head to town," Felix said, grabbing onto Chef's shoulder and walking him to the back door.
"What's wrong with chEf?" Rylan asked.
"Don't know... something fishy is happening here," Billy responded.
Lyla walked down the stairs.
"Who was screaming?" Lyla asked.
"Niggers," Kacy mumbled.
Everyone stared at her. She looked up, not knowing what she said, to her she said Chef, bot out loud she said the n word. Dillon laughed hysterically and walked out of the room, the second he left the room he stopped.
"Um, that was not funny," Lyla said.
"And racist," Chloe said.
"What, I didn't say anything wrong... did I?" Kacy asked.
"You said the n word," Lyla said.
"What? No I didn't. I'd never say that... thats awful. Why would you say that I said that?!" Kacy asked.
"Because that's what you said," Chloe responded, leaving the room.
"God what his happening," Kacy thought. "Rylan disappearing last night, Chef being all weird... and now this."
Kacy had her hand on the stove while thinking this, while it was on. She couldn't feel it.
"Kacy you're hand!" Lyla yelled.
Kacy yanked her hand away and looked at it, nothing was wrong.
"What the fuck?!" Kacy yelled. "What the fuck is happening?!"
"This isn't real... this can't be real. I'm dreaming... I don't have powers... wait. No. I do have powers..." she thought.
"Where the hell am I?" Kacy asked.
"Right where you're supposed to be," a familiar voice answered.
The room went dark and everyone disappeared, Kacy whipped around, only to see Smith.
"What the hell is happening Smith?! Where am I? What is this?" Kacy demanded.
"There is a crisis coming. We need you here, to pass the test," Smith responded.
"We? Test? The fuck are you blabbing on about, you're a cop, the fuck are you doing?" Kacy questioned.
"A test of your will. And you have passed, you figured out that you all are in a dream," Smith answered.
"All? Who else is in here?" Kacy asked.
"You, Chef, Rylan, and Billy," Smith answered.
"Who's Billy, I don't remember him from the real world," Kacy asked.
"You haven't met, but he's important for the collision. Now, no more questions, time to wake up!"
Felix was driving Billy, Chef, and Rylan in his super fancy car.
"So old sport, where are you two from?" Felix asked.
"Another reality," Billy responded.
Rylan looked a im funny, then awkwardly responded, "New Bell City."
"Aw, you two hail from the city as Chef. I come from Klyvotania myself," Felix responded.
"Is everyone okay?" Rylan asked.
"Reality is bending, and the folks of this place aren't noticing. Something is wrong, we need figure out what," Billy said.
Chef sat in the passenger, silent. People would speak to him, and he would ignore them. Not intentionally of course, he wasn't being rude. He was just zoned out. He figured that he was just nervous about later, which he was, that just wasn't the cause of this dream.
"A dream?" Chef thought.
Chef turned around to Billy and Rylan.
"I think we're in a dream," he said.
"What? That's crazy!" Rylan claimed.
"Makes sense, now how do we get out of it?" Billy asked.
At that moment, Felix rammed his car into a telephone poll, Chef was launched through the windshield and landed in a ditch. Billy and Rylan were knocked unconscious.
Felix exited the car, he began stripping down until he was only in his underwear. He began fingering his five nipples, except a few of them were missing, a nasty scar, scabby thing was left behind.
"Felix... what are you doing?" Chef asked.
"Who's Felix... I'm Fungi!" Fungi exclaimed.
"Oh shit! I forgot about your other half! This is one whack dream home slice!" Chef yelled.
Fungi ran on all fours at Chef, he leaped into the air and back flipped over Fungi. The two turned to face each other. Billy and Rylan exited the car.
"What in the holy fuck is that abomination!?" Rylan asked, feeling like himself again.
"That's a Fungi," Billy responded.
"He's usually not hostile though, we're like best friends!" Chef yelled. "Fungi-kun, it's me, Chef-sama! I was at your wedding, remember?!"
Fungi just stared, menacingly. He was unresponsive. His pupils and iris disappeared an drool leaked from his mouth as he began to aggressively stroke his mushroom shaped cock. All of a sudden, a massive explosion of shit shot from Fungi's ass, propelling him into the air.
"Goddammit Chef?! Every time we meet up we're always fighting some fucked up shit!" Rylan yelled.
Before Fungi landed, K arrived from a portal and punched Fungi so hard, the shit was redirected and launched him into the forest in front of the group. Unfortunately shit sprayed all over the group.
"Ooh, this is kinda nice," Chef said, smearing it all over himself.
Billy was unaffected, and Rylan began to uncontrollably vomit.
"Alright faggots, time to wake up,"
The four woke up in a room together. Billy was dressed normally. Rylan and Kacy were in their costumes, and Chef was back in his normal attire, a sexy red body suit and an apron.
Dillon and Jafar ran into the room.
"CHEF GET YOUR RETARDED ASS READY!" Dillon screeched.
"You're getting married retard, why are you all laying on the floor, Chef were having another orgy? You know Lyla is okay with that but with another girl?!" Jafar started.
"No gross! Fuck no! Why the fuck would I fuck Chef? No offense but he looks like a rat, and he smells like rotten pizza," Kacy responded.
"You can't just be dissing on me homie Chef like that, babe. And Chef, if you ever fuck Kacy I will kill you," Rylan said.
"Who the hell is the old guy?" Dillon asked.
"Billy Billy," Chef responded, stripping down and pulling his wedding dress out of his ass and putting it on.
Kacy stared disgusted, she had never seen him do his weird shit, everyone else was used to it by now.
Obrigado pela leitura!
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