"The individual does carry on a double existence: One designed to serve their own purposes and another as a link in a chain, in which they serve against, or at any rate without, any volition of their own."
The research showed that multiple personality disorder was a response to interpersonal and environmental stressors caused by emotional neglect or physical abuse altering a person's characterological development. Although 99% of individuals who developed dissociative disorders had recognized personal histories of recurring, and overpowering traumas during childhood. In other cases, these stressors could be created by overpowering an individual or exposing them to life-threatening circumstances. In either case, the person developed a fragmented or split identity as a defense mechanism against further trauma. Those that experienced it literally shut off or dissociated themselves from a situation or experience that's too violent, traumatic, or painful to assimilate with their conscious self.
The nightmare for Beth began in 2021 when she was attending graduate school at Lake Superior State University in Houghton, Michigan. She was studying ancient history and archeology, had several postgraduate opportunities pending and was looking forward to a very successful career in her field sometime in the near future. The phone rang, it was her father calling just prior to spring break to give her the most exciting news she could have ever imagined. "Beth get your bags ready, I am taking you to Egypt to visit the pyramids and other ancient sights."
Beth excitedly responded, "My bags were already packed before you finished the sentence." However, that was several years ago now, and Beth had only fleeting recollections of what transpired from 2021 until now. What she did have was the presence of two distinct or split identities continually fighting for control over the body's thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and consciousness.
What she was experiencing was an inability to recall her personal information that was too far reaching to be explained as mere forgetfulness. She seemed to slip in and out of conscious states with such symptoms as headaches, amnesia, time loss, trances, and out of body experiences. Each identity had its own distinct memory variations, and her primary alter was an Egyptian woman named Reshad part of an Islamic terrorist group based from the Middle East, Africa and Asia. Each of the alters had its own postures, gestures, and distinct presence in the world. She remembered that when Reshad first revealed herself, she was only able to control her thoughts and behaviors for a few minutes, and it took days for her to gain control. Reshad was stronger now and the switching was quicker and for longer periods of time.
Somehow just now, she became aware again that her true name was Beth and that she was a single Caucasian female from Houghton, Michigan. After being suddenly awakened from sleep by an Islamic man called Ohmar that was screaming he was her handler and that she better listen. All Beth could remember now was that he had terrorized her for years. Beth found herself again in an interrogation room that she seemed to recognize but didn't want to remember, in a country she was familiar with but not her own, listening to a man screaming a language she understood but wished she didn't. She felt a surge of internal spiritual energy to fight back, but lacked the emotional strength to do so. The middle-aged Islamic man looking at her intently waited for the anticipated programed response that was not forthcoming, "Reshad you bitch, you will follow your instructions or face the consequences of your disobedience."
Beth had some recollection with the name Reshad, but no clear memory of what transpired over the past several years, last week, or even yesterday. What she was trying to hold onto was the year 2021 when she was a college student just prior to leaving with her family on spring break to Cairo, Egypt. At any rate, her consciousness temporarily restored, she screamed back in English, “I am not Reshad you piece of shit and I am getting out of here.” With those words she struck the man with precision and power that she didn't know she possessed and somehow escaped from the room with skills beyond her skillset or abilities. However, upon escaping she instantly realized she wasn't in Michigan but rather the desert in the Asian section of Egypt in a small community on the Mediterranean Sea surrounded by terrorists and was quickly returned to her handler.
Ohmar in retaliation for the beating he received permitted her captures to beat, torture, and rape her until Beth hid again inside herself and Reshad returned. Ohmar then said to his men, “She is not ready for the mission she needs to be reconditioned.”
To which the lead terrorist responded, "I'll take her back for another session she will be ready for her mission to Jerusalem."
Ohmar looking at the man with anger in his heart and mind responded, "She better be, or I'll be sending your daughter to assassinate the senator."
Being inspired, Ohmar's lead soldiers took her back to their contact in Cairo for re-education through brainwave treatments which provided magnetic stimulation to the brain structures and networks responsible for altering an individual's characterological presentation.
Beth was unique, although some people with dissociative symptoms have a tendency toward self-persecution and self-sabotage, she was not prone to self-destructive behavior, but Reshad, her alter displayed violence that was always outwardly directed, and was their top assassin. Although both identities found themselves in the same physical existence, doing things they wouldn't normally have done, yet they felt compelled to do them. Beth increasingly would have described this feeling as being like a passenger in her own body rather than the driver. In other words, she truly believed she had no choice.
The brain wave treatments essentially changed the way she experienced living by causing depersonalization or detaching her from herself as if experiencing being outside of her body, derealization or the feeling that the world was not real, looked foggy or was simply too far away. She was experiencing longer periods of amnesia where she was unable to recall significant personal information, micro-amnesias where the discussion engaged in was not remembered, or the content of a meaningful conversation forgotten from one second to the next.
However, the most troubling was what she knew about the mission in Israel and her identity confusion and alteration that would permit the assassination to happen. You see because of her identity confusion she had trouble defining the things that interested her in life, her political, religious, or social viewpoints, and even her past professional ambitions. In addition, she experienced distortions in time, place, and situation.
Her only hope now was that these dissociated states were not fully mature personalities, but rather they represented a disjointed sense of identity, and that Reshad and she remembered different aspects of the same autobiographical and historical information. Although she realized she was no longer the "host" personality within the body, she was still able to identify with her real name.
She was aware of Reshad whereas Reshad had no awareness of her presence. So, for the first time, she recognized that even though she didn't have the emotional or physical abilities to fight her captors maybe this time around after their fucking treatments, she could control Reshad. Through the lucid dream state, she might be able to maintain her awareness in the dream and at the right moment gain control over the dream, characters, environment, and narrative.
However, for now Reshad's identity was in charge and she found herself in Jerusalem with a gun in her hand facing the senator who was directly in front of her. She was about to fire when an internal voice cried out from deep inside saying, "Senator, they are trying to kill you!" Then when the gunshot rang out, Reshad crumbled to the ground with a self-inflicted bullet wound to her head.
Just then a girl in Houghton, Michigan finally woke up peaceful and completely integrated, free from computer chips and brainwashing with a brighter future ahead of her. So, the question we must ask ourselves is she the deceased woman Reshad who died in Jerusalem, Beth the young woman from Michigan, a computer simulation running somewhere, somebody or something else completely?
"To understand what a person is, it is necessary always to refer to what they may be in the future, for every state of a person is pointed in the direction of future possibilities."
Obrigado pela leitura!
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