airyking Lorenz Miguel

What if you put a horrible man, with a mouth that is just as bad as his attitude, to be in charge of a summer camp, but it's no normal summer camp, five teenagers from different backgrounds but all with one aspect, they, are, all, delinquents, so let's see if Thomas Wilson, is able to help these young men and women become better adults, or will he crack under their antics and just by their general existence. *Beware, if you're sensitive to offensive content, get off the app now and save yourself *Forgot to mention, Art is by me (Open for criticism) (Everything is a joke and shouldnt be taken seriously, for your brain, and my brain's sake)


Humour Humour noir Déconseillé aux moins de 13 ans.

#humor #edgy #offensive #darkhumor #absurd
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Chaptuh 1

Now, Thomas G. Wilson is not a kind man, in his mid-thirties with a hateful outlook on the world. His hatred and penchant for name calling are two of his defining traits, and he isn't afraid to voice his extreme opinions to anyone who'll listen, with or without their consent. He's also extremely narrow-minded and lacks empathy or understanding for anyone who's different from himself.


Raised in the battlefield that is the Los Angeles suburbs, he grew up right, his greatest struggle was empathizing with other kids his age, until the day in middle school, he was bullied by a gay black kid named Jerome, who was a straight A student (But loves D), now Jerome was a smartass, and extremely condescending against young Will, this, alongside with his mother leaving the picture, and being overshadowed by his prodigy of a sister, to this day, he envied, shaped him into what he is today. If will could travel back in time, he would bitch slap that no good Jerome back to the jungles of hell.


He will find himself in endless journeys of hardships, most of them birthed from his own wrong doings, now, let's pitch in on what situation Thomas Wilson has gotten himself in, in search for the power and attention he always craved.






Hey," he mentioned. "At least I called him the right pronouns, son of a bitch, instead of bitch, see, I'm respectful."


"You're one insensitive motherfucker," she hissed while dragging him across the hallway in a hurry.


The man just smiles and waves his hand in the air like he's making a rainbow "That asshole got it coming to her, she's one sentence away from growing tits again." He chuckles, earning a death glare from the woman.


The woman threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "Why can't you just be quiet! some people are crying in the bathroom because of what you said!" She yells at him but she just watched him stare into nowhere with a blank stare.


An idea popped in her head, she takes his phone "Hey, what's the big idea, you gusher ridin hoe!" Cried the man before attempting to take his phone back.


She moves her phone away from him as he hopelessly reaches out for it as she dons an evil smile.


"Are you good with children Will?" She asks him in a condescending way, Will just stops dead in his tracks and nodded his head, as if he was acknowledging it.


"Fuck no! especially here? Santa Fe? I might end up roofing their drinks with coke and hot sauce like it's fucking Cinco de mayo, then maybe dump them somewhere in downtown," he exclaimed while flailing his hand.


"I don't have the patience nor a good mental state of mind to keep those soft soled, vape inhalin, sling bag wearin, bee gees soundin, cylinder ridin, whack-a-fags from drowning or whatnot. hell, one sting from a wasp gotta make they silicone filled chops bigger than it already is," He added before the woman placed a hand on his shoulder.


Grinning, she talks to him in a way that reminds him of how mothers speak to their children. "That's why you're perfect Willy, only you can break them and build them up into stronger, more disciplined teens with a burning hatred for you."


"Sounds like a duty fit for me. Thomas Wilson, the great dictator of all things livin and unlivin," he muttered while rubbing his hands like a cartoon villain.


"See? you're perfect for the job, now come on, let's go grab lunch and then I'll take you to the Coordinator, heard they were low on man power, so I thought, you'd be perfect for the job," she said before they walked out a set of double doors.



~Later that afternoon~



The duo arrived at a cozy coffee shop fit for white people (according to Will), they step out the taxi after paying the driver their fare


"What the..." Will trails off as he gazes at the coffee shop with a mix of confusion and distaste. "White folks are good and all but this, this is one of the few things I dislike about em."


The woman gasps in sarcastic shock "You?! not liking white people?! impossible!" She whispers to him as they keep walking towards the entrance.


"I mean," he points at the sign displaying the coffee shop's name. "What in hail Mary's name is Oak's garden and coffee, sounds like a vivarium for the queers, I can smell Jerome all over this, I still ain't sorry for painting that pink triangle on his house."


The woman ignores Will as she placed her hand on the metal bar of the glass door, on the door was a Poster with a rainbow flag and under it was text that read "All are welcome for a warm brew".


She stares at the poster with a thoughtful expression before Will jabbed a finger on it while spitting venom.


"I hate that I was right Leiya, I wager ya a nickel theres someone there wearing a jumper or some hand knitted sweater, even though it's June,, why do them gays wear that, what, does homosexuality make you insulated or something," he said snidely.


Two young men walk between them with the taller one muttering to Will. "Can you stop being a bigot, sir?"


"Relax pal, I ain't homophobic, I love gay people," He said before pausing with a thoughtful expression. "As long as they stay on the screen."


"What's wrong with you," The tall young man exclaimed before the other shorter one squeezed his hand and shook his head.


Then the two ignored Will and walked inside, much to Will's surprise.


"Curiouser curiouser, they tend to yell on for hours, guess those pansies are learning a thing or two from the books," he chuckled before they both entered the coffee shop.


They went to the woman at the counter, who had long black brades and a rainbow bracelet on her hand "What can I get you beautiful people today?" She asked in a cheerful tone that made Will visibly reel from disgust.


"Jesus, no need for the formalities Nubian lady, me and my friend here are just looking for good, artisanal, and heterosexual coffee," he explains with a smile.


The woman pauses in shock before Leiya stepped "Good morning, we'd like your finest black coffee please," she politely requested before she heard a giggle from Will, which she rolls her eyes and mouths "I'm sorry" to the barista.


Right after, they both walk to a table at the corner, "What was that Will?! it's 10 am and you're already trying to pick a fight in the new coffee shop!" She hissed at him.


When they finally got their coffee, Leiya took a sip before making a satisfied sigh "This is godly," she mumbles, Will stares at her before looking at his own mug which had a shape of a heart on it.


"What grave act of limp wriste--" he starts to say then he was suddenly interrupted.


Before Will could begin his rant Leiya presses a finger against his mouth before whispering "Quiet, Will, let me have this moment."


Will sits back down on his chair, he had many things racing through his head, He could win in a fight against almost every customer here, except for the bears, what the fuck are the bears again? ah, I think they pick the name bear because theyre carnivorous, kinky ass fudge packers, this is Jimmy Carter's doing! and also, maybe the other two guys he met earlier, though, the last thing he needed was having Leiya subpoenaed against him, was, what kept Will from doing a round of fisticuffs with the peaceful patrons of the coffee shop, curses i say! Curses! Curses! Curses!


After Will finished his manic thinking, he huffed and took a sip from his coffee mug. "Hm, I ain't no caffeine connoisseur, but, the coffee is as good as it could be, unlike that ink coated unicorn at the counter," surmised Will.


He looked around the coffee shop and noticed the two young men he'd been referring to earlier had gone up to the counter to order a drink. The barista, who Will recognized as the same girl from before, greeted the pair warmly and began preparing their coffee.


"Look at em," Will thought to himself, "They're mingling with their people."


He turns to Leiya who is still peacefully drinking her coffee, "You know, when they say I'm homophobic, I ain't homophobic, being homophobic means you're a nuisance, and being a nuisance, is for gay people," he explains matter of factly.


Leiya just stares at him like he has two heads but she shakes her head, "I'm down for a sandwich, do you want a sandwich? because I'm starving!" She responded behind gritted teeth.


"You're a Mexican, it's in your heritage to starve," he mentions before he hails over one of the baristas with a sharp whistle.


"Hey! you there! the one with the tie dye hair," he momentarily pauses as he finally took in the baristas appearance with a look of absolute revulsion.


"Uh, give me your finest grilled cheese, make them extra toasted, I like my cheese melted," he requested before turning Leiya who was trying her best to hide her face.


Leiya just sighs, "Sure, get me what he's getting," she mutters while pinching the bridge of her nose.


"I'm SERIOUSLY reconsidering about putting you in that summer camp, it must be torture for those poor kids if you're the councilor," she whispered loudly.


"Now wait just a minute girl, I swear, I'll tone down my....." He pauses, "Rightness, when I'm in the summer camp."


"Fine," she sighs in frustration while covering her face, "Talking to you, I need more than one cup of coffee."


Will smiled "You're welcome!" He exclaimed before raising his cup "Cheers to the newly inaugurated summer dictator, I, Thomas Wilson, pledge that I will fix all those teenies and turn them into civilized, and fully functional adults.


Leiya doesn't know why, but she felt a cold shiver run down her spine when Will said he was gonna turn those teens into "civilized" adults.


"You're out of touch with reality, I'm already preparing a waiver just so the camp doesn't get into legal trouble," she mentions to Will but he just shook his head.


"I am not out of touch with reality, I touch it everyday, with consent of course." He snaps his fingers at her, still looking proud of himself.


"Do you even know what consent means?" She questioned, putting down her half finished cup on the table.


"Yes, I'm a racist, not a molester," he clarified with a blank expression.


A barista comes in holding a tray with two plates that had one grilled cheese sandwich each, the man places the two plates between them, glancing nervously at Will while doing it.


Will smiled at him when they had eye contact "Don't worry man, I don't bite, besides, the fact you're working in this type of crack den, shows that you enjoy getting bitten," he blurts out.


Leiya and the barista stared at him for an uncomfortable amount of time, then Will took a painfully long and audible sip from his coffee "That wasn't an attempt of flirting by the way," he added.


Leiya waves off the barista who smiled nervously and walked away, then she gazed at Will with a puzzled expression.


"I swear...." She suddenly spoke up, "You're the only guy I know who can give that much mixed signals in one sentence..."


"Thank you," he answered before finishing his coffee and smacking his lips loudly that made Leiya cringe inside.


"So, about that counsellor job thing you're talking about, how much do I get in one week?" He said while leaning forward, wagging his eyebrows.


"Woah there Grand wizard, you must pass a test first, what, you thought they would instantly let you go on the job?" She said while shaking an index finger at him.


"Grand wizard? ah, so you did some research on my clubs," he raised his fists in the air while whispering, "one color!"


She did a spit take at this "Hold on, you're actually a part of the Ku Klux Klan?" She questioned before sitting up.


"Heck yeah, it's like the fraternity I never had, though, I admit, they didn't appreciate the fact that I was a half breed, but I did the pledge and everything, and also," he raised a finger to her as he searched for something in his pocket.


"Ah, the recruitment photo," he pulls out his wallet and takes out a photo, next, he showed it to Leiya, it was Will, with a baseball cap, surrounded by men in white cloaks and white cloth masks and pointy white hoods.


Leiya just eyes the photo with a look of disappointment, she then switches her gaze to Will who still had a grin plastered on his face "I'm not even surprised anymore," she acknowledged.


"You should've seen me light up that cross on fire," he said before standing up, "White power!" He murmured to himself.


"I also forgot to mention, I'm a street preacher too," he said after turning to Leiya, who just sighs and shakes her head.


"You and religion are something that shouldn't go together," she muttered when she walked past Will.


"I'm trying to be a changed man Leiya!, here's one of my favorite quotes from the bible, "For God so loved the world that on the eight day, he created the Jim crow laws to separate the black capuchin men from the superior white man," Will preached while raising his hand in the air.


"Jesus is colored you know," Leiya responded with a look of disdain.


"Yeah, colored white," he answered back with a straight face.


"Do you even know where he's from?!" She yelled at him, but she became quiet when a table of people gave them odd stares.


"Of course. Judea!" replied Will, who had a smug grin.


"And where's Judea located?" She asked, her head starting to hurt from this interaction.


"....." He stays silent while thinking, then he beams up and says with a proud smile "Virginia."


Leiya didn't know whether to slap Will, cry, laugh, or jump out the window, but while she was thinking on what to do, a barista came in to check on them.


"What may be the problem here?" The barista politely asked.


Leiya points at Will "This man right here thinks Jesus Christ is an Appalachian" which offended Will.


"Ma'am, please do not talk about religion here, this is a safe space for all, and we want the customers to feel safe and sheltered," the barista said.


"Okay, okay, you two, hear me out, Jesus is superior, and so are the white men, so therefore, they correlate, because white men were already making all sorts of gadgets and gizmos where those dark skinned savages were still living in caves," he explained.


The barista was fuming at this comment, she brushed some hair off her face and said to him "We don't tolerate hate speech around here mister! if you keep acting like this, then we would like to ask you to please leave," she said heatedly


"Calm your bony ass down, you Hong Kong dy--" he stopped talking as Leiya clasped a hand on his mouth and smiled at the barista.


"The food was good, the coffee was great, thanks for the food, we're going now, please don't call the cops," she insisted.


As Leiya dragged Will through the coffee shop, many of the customers were giving Will a feath stare with some even shaking their heads at him, which infuriated Will more and he tried shaking off Leiya.


"Calm down Will, verbally assault them, outside, the coffee shop," she pleaded to Will.


Leiya gestured over a cab as Will was actually getting out of control, she pushed Will inside and she climbed in, then she closed the windows so the sound of Wills angry yelling couldn't be heard.


Will punched the window before trying to exit the car, Leiya had to restrain him by wrapping him in a bear hug as she told the cab driver to floor it.


When the cab finally drove away she finally let go of Will, who immediately was looking around for something to hit, but he slowly relaxed as he felt the air conditioner hit his face.


The driver, who was an asian man in his fifties looked at the rear view mirror and chuckled to himself, Leiya gave Will some space for him to calm down as the weight of the mental exhaustion of putting up with Will came crashing down on her.


Will watches as she slump against the seat and falls asleep, he sighs and calms down, before looking down at the floor with a thoughtful expression


"You're an interesting one, mister," the driver suddenly asked, startling Will for a moment.


"Yeah, I'm a warrior of the white race," he replied, then he rested his head against the window of the car.


"I've seen the whole situation you two got in, let me say, you're a ballsy man, Will, was that your name yes?," the man questioned, looking at the rear view mirror.


He smiled when he saw Will slowly nod at him "you're exhausted aren't, I know the eyes of a tired soul," he commented before stopping at a red light.


"I know right, it's hard to live in this, a mess of place, it's filled with hangtown gays," he said before pointing at Leiya, "She's the only one who can at least partly see what I see, if I could, I would build up America again, but I'll leave her out of it, I respect her too much."


"Correct, when I saw her trying to stop you from getting out, you let her hold you back because you didn't want her getting hurt or more stressed," the man mutters softly.


"All that anger," the driver paused, "And frustration, it's insanity pal, you cannot live your whole life like this, your friend here cares for you enough to not give up."


"Hey kid, take some time to step back and get some fresh air, okay? You might assume I'm just an old-timer who drives cars for a living, that's the only lesson you really need to learn," The driver says, smiling and placing his hand on the seat next to him for support, which Will notices has an old ring on it.


Will's eyes stare at the ground as he just stays silent throughout the whole ride, but then he looks outside the window "But if I don't fight back, they're gonna call me pathetic, if I fight, I'm suddenly the asshole" he whispers in a low voice.


"You don't have to tear others apart because you cannot feel," the man stopped the car and gazed at Wills eyes with sadness, "Whole. you cannot feel whole, son, that's why you tear down others because you were torn down by yourself."


A kindle of anger rises in Will's eyes "Hey man, you dont know who I am, so let's stop this," he said in a whisper, "Them, all of them, every single one of them all, I lived in their shadows, and now that I have the strength to fight, they see me as the bully, they're fucking assholes."


"They were just begging for me to start fighting back, why are they suddenly the victims now!" he yelled out furiously, "If I didn't know any better, I would've whacked them bloody!"


The driver stared at him, before shaking his head, "You're very angry, and bitter, You are your own cure, son," he mentions.


Leiya shifted her position of sleeping so her back was turned, Will looks at this and continued fighting, glad that she wasnt awake to see this.


"They do not deserve my forgiveness, nor my mercy, my respect, my kindness, they do not deserve to be above me," he said then crossed his arms.


Before he could yell again, the car suddenly stopped, "We're here," the man declared before sighing, "I wish I could help you, but the only thing keeping you from happiness, is you."


Leiya sat up while yawning, Will calmed down at this, while rubbing her eyes, "is this Montcormick Park?" She asked, unaware of the fight that ensued.


Then she notices Will's bloodshot eyes "Hey, you okay?" She asked him.


"When white people are still not the only race in the world, never," he joked before wiping the tears off his face, shifting back to his old self.


He opens the car door and gets hurt when the light hits his eyes "Gah. by Jedidiah's nutsacks," he groans while shielding his eyes from the sunlight.


He hears Leiya shout in a cheerful tone "We're here!" She squeals out, prompting Will to cover his ears.


"So?," he looks around, it was actually a pleasant looking forest, the sounds of birds chirping in the air, the sound of flowing water, with some wooden signs and a clean cut path on the grass that made it look like something straight out of the postcard, the smell of dew and damp grass permeates the air, but Will, he doesn't give a damn about it, only the possible paycheck.


"I don't want to get scalped by some Cherokee injun in there," he yells at the forest, "I've watched Cannibal holocaust, it should've been the other way around I tell ya."


Leiya gave him an odd stare, even the driver rolled down his window to raise his eyebrow at him, "I ain't dying in a forest negro, that's a fate meant for gypsies, and Austronesians," Will mumbles ibefore he walks down the path, as she watches Will walk away, Leiya hurriedly gave the driver some money, but the driver whispered something to her, before she started jogging after Will.


"Took you long enough, thought Mexicans were good at running, like, isn't that how your people migrated here in the first place," he told Leiya when she ran up beside him


"Sometimes, I wish I could just gorilla glue your lips shut, estúpido," Leiya deadpans as her pace turns into a brisk walk.


"I don't need a mouth to clean America," he replied back, "and what the hell does es-two-pee-do mean, did you just call me stupid in bull fighting language?."


"Bull fighting language?" She chuckled, "That's a fresh one."


Will smiled at this, taking pride in himself for being a horrible person, he quickly grows bored of the mundaneness of the forest.


As they walk through the peaceful forest, Will looks up and notices the lush green trees, a light breeze moving through the branches, with some of the wind hitting his face with a blast of gentle air, sunlight shining through the trees here and there, and little creatures like rabbits and squirrels darting in and out of their burrows. The air feels more refreshing and clean compared to the one in the city.


Far in the distance, Will spots a young asian woman, tending to a bush of blueberries, pruning the leaves while occasionally popping a berry or two in her mouth quickly, he watched her sigh with relief while enjoying the calming atmosphere of the woods.


"What's the yellow ranger chick doing?, ah, must be that globalism thing those slants talk about," Will's voice suddenly cuts through the tranquil silence of the woods.


Leiya elbows Will who doubles over while groaning in pain, after she pats herself in the shoulder, she walked to the bewildered woman.


"Hi there, are you a new recruit?, I'm Leiya Florencia, this is my friend Will, he is also a new recruit," she said with a beaming smile that calmed down the woman.


Will stood up while clutching his stomach, but before he could even make another racist comment, Leiya placed a hand on his shoulder and gripped it tightly, her nails digging into his skin, while staring into his eyes, with a look that promised a horrible ten minutes of pain, Will sighs and stays quiet, fortunately.


Leiya huffs, she knows that Will was grumbling to himself, probably annihilating the woman in his mind, but that's better than nothing in her book.


Will quietly observes the other woman, the asian stands up, giving Will a better view , she was short, had straight black hair, had very pale skin, brown eyes, and had a necklace on her that had a symbol of a dove, she was wearing a blue blouse, in the woods?, this girl is fucking crazier than I am, she was wearing some jeans, hey, stop looking at her idiot, she was skinny, and yellow, I wanna put ketchup on her, she had an ample chest too, I mean chest, wait, what the hell, Will, snap out of it, that's an asian, you're talking about, she might be some viet Cong, leading you into a some hidden forest trap, just think of pure, white, american, thoughts, Will, you're better than this, by Nixon's name, you're a racist dammit.


The asian woman, who already introduced herself to Leiya as Nina, which Will didn't hear for he was just lost in his thoughts, became uneasy from his blatant staring.


Leiya did a facepalm at this, before quickly smacking the back of his, "Goddamit Will, this is why you're a 30 year old virgin," she utters in a loud whisper.


Will stops staring at the woman as he shakes his head before rubbing his eyes, "I saw two mountains and a pair of tuna fish," he mentions while doing it.


Will noticed what he said before adding "better than ebony at least," He said.


"Will, were you even listening the whole time?" Leiya asked, with Nina crossing her arms at him.


"Yessir," he said quickly, making Leiya narrow her eyes at him.


"I heard the whole thing, her name was Ning Ning" Will declares proudly.


Nina, who became dumbfounded, was actually speechless from this, she placed a hand over her mouth from disbelief before cuing to Leiya stomping on his foot, making Will howl in pain.


"Sweet Jesus biscuits!" He cursed out loudly, before falling to the ground while holding his foot.


Nina couldn't even say a word as she was still processing the whole situation and what happened, just who were these two?


After scolding Will for a good minute, Leiya went up to her with a smile.


"So, may we know where the coordinator is?" She asked, but was only met with awkward silence, they both stared at each other uneasily, Will was still on the ground during the whole exchange.



End of chapter one

25 Novembre 2023 05:04 0 Rapport Incorporer Suivre l’histoire
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