fanfiction_writer Nix Buhagiar

There is a girl who no one seems to want. She has autism but she was unaware of it until she reached 15 which is also when her parents passed away. The foster place immediately got her an official diagnosis. After that no one treats her the same. She was constantly bullied in the orphanage and at school since her "friend" told everyone she saw. She gets saved by the Doctor who is no longer a traveller but they are living a normal life with their wife Yasmin Kahn. They both want a child to grow old with and Lily is the perfect daughter for them. (I know this is a different kind of book for 13th Doctor fanfiction but I hope you enjoy reading it.)

Fanfiction Série/ Doramas/Opéras de savon Déconseillé aux moins de 13 ans.

#adoption #bullyingawareness #mentalhealthawareness #13thdoctor #fanfiction #bullying #oc #fanficition #lgbt #13thxyaz #autism #13th #yaz
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My life

TW mentions of being bullied

I am Lily and I live in an orphanage, my parents left me to deal with all this autism stuff. They left me alone and I don't know what to do about it. I'm being bullied day in and day out. I wish everyday to escape and no one even sees my struggle or that I drown everyday remembering every hateful word that I'm called in the orphanage and school. I'm called words like freak, weirdo, some words are even worse. It is hard to believe anything different when you have been told the same thing over and over again. I can't even remember what it is like to be loved or accepted.

I mean I get treated ok sometimes which makes it confusing but the other orphanage kids only act nice around me when my main carer is nearby, she is the only one is unaware of the bullying because they act like angels around her. On the days she isn't around I'm being taunted, picked on and sometimes hit, it's the same at school except it's only words and it's just some people in my class.

I'm grateful that I just get hit at the orphanage but it can last for hours. I have old and new bruises which I do my best to hide from Jane my main carer. I don't want her to think of me as weak or something because I can't stand up for myself. There has never been any broken bones though at least not yet. I'm not sure how long this will last for but I know no one is adopting me because I'm autistic.

In school no one ever sticks up for me or says anything though. My teachers have witnessed it but also don't do anything. I don't have the nicest of teachers and the school I'm studying at is one of the worst ones that I have ever been to. The adults at the orphanage act completely oblivious but they know about the bullying, they just don't care. I'm just told to be less like myself and more like my masked persona.

I don't like the fake version of me I built since I was a child because I thought my own personality wasn't good enough. Even when I started to realise I was autistic I continued to mask in fear of being seen different by my parents, my school friend and my teachers plus in a world like this self diagnosis isn't valid and then the accident happened with my parents while I was out.

I don't want to go into detail about it and I don't really remember much, I just remember that a police officer came over to my friend's house. I went there because well my parents were going on a vacation and I only had one friend because I wasn't much of a social person. They worked really hard and deserved it because the job they had was exhausting and mentally draining.

I don't remember the words I was told but I remember breaking down at the door and my friend holding me as I cried. After that my life just tumbled apart and I wasn't sure how to take it, everything that was going on made my autism more noticeable except to my friend so as soon as the orphanage noticed they got me an autism diagnosis.

It was a long exhausting journey, I went to three Doctor's and the first two refused to diagnosis me since I was not a child anymore technically. I got a diagnosis eventually though and the orphanage was so proud of themselves acting like they just saved my life or something when they just made it much worse. I lied to my friend about the appointments saying they were just check ups for my mental health which was believable because I did just lose my parents.

I couldn't lie forever since I had to tell one friend at my school so someone knows but they were the only friend I had since I started primary school and that completely tore everything apart for me, I mean they acted decent about it but I'm not sure why they felt the need to tell everyone at my school, even the teachers. I completely ignored them after that and blocked them from everything which they weren't happy about so started bullying me too.

The one person I told completely stabbed me in the back and my autism wasn't a secret anymore, worst part is she got away with it. When I started ignoring them they told the whole of my orphanage too making out we were still friends but that they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I lost everything at that point, my childhood friend, my safe place, my parents and my original home which was being kept for me since it was in my parents will but I wasn't old enough to have my own house yet.

I hope one day when I'm older I can run away from this life and back to my old home. Get a job I can handle, stop being bullied and be able to visit my parents grave once every month to clean it and place fresh flowers. Plus be able to love myself and find worth in living again. How can that happen when everywhere I turn I feel like I am living in hell? I would rather be in actual hell at this point, it probably isn't as bad as this place.

"Lily, please pay attention to my classes and don't drift off with your thoughts," the teacher pleaded to me.

I saw some people either laughing or hiding their mouth behind their hands pretending to cough. That kind of hurt and I almost forgot I was in my class. I guess your thoughts can sometimes take you elsewhere. Part of me wished they could, besides being able to learn maths which is a special interest of mine as well as computer science. I don't have those subjects as much as I liked to have them though. I mean I have maths everyday it is always the subject I look forward too especially during a hard day.

Computer science brings me to smile because when there is a hard code that at first I can't figure out, it makes me happy when I finally get it. The same is with a maths question but that is kind of easy for me and I learn way to quickly for it, I'm at the top of my class. In computer science it is the same but I take a bit longer for that, I am still pretty good at it though and I acutally have it today so I'm excited for it. I'm also doing pretty good in my language lesson.

I am learning German and Japanese, Japanese being a bit harder but I like that it is, I would get bored if it wasn't challenging enough. I learn Japanese in my free time though since my school doesn't teach it. I brought it up but they felt that no one would be interested in a class like that besides me so I got ignored but I don't mind I can still learn it and when I know enough hopefully get others interested in it so they make it into a class or at least an after school club.

I love learning new languages but I have a hard time learning them and understanding the different grammar. Learning as a whole is my special interest and even on days that aren't school I do it. That is another reason why I am bullied at the orphanage because they see me as a nerd but they say it in the meanest of ways. I can't even remember the harmful words they said to me...

"Lily!" the teacher yelled at me.

I jumped in my seat realising I spaced out again and blushed in embarrassment when I saw everyone looking in my direction.

"Lily if I say something I expect you to act on it, please can you tell me what is so interesting that you can't focus on this lesson," the teacher spoke annoyed.

"No sir," I refused in a quiet, timid voice not wanting anyone to know the thoughts that circle my mind.

"Then get out, just go home already I'm sure there is no point you being here if you won't bother to focus," the teacher told me.

"But sir I have computer science and maths today, we're learning how to make a game through code in computer science and maths is about mental maths which is my favourite, please can I at least stay for those lessons," I begged hoping he would let me.

I started to cry a bit not wanting to miss my favourite lessons especially computer science since I only have that three times in the week. Some laughed at me and others seemed to have sympathy but said nothing. The ones laughing held up an L sign.

"You should have thought about that before wandering off with your thoughts, now go be a nerd elsewhere," he said pointing towards the door.

The laughter got louder and they held up the L higher, the teacher didn't seem to care and I wouldn't have been surprised if he joined in with the class. I ran out my hands covering my face, tears dripping faster than I could handle. I went inside the bathroom and went to a stall. I sat down and screamed into my hands wishing this was over. I hate this school, I hate my "home"and I hate my life. I can't have a meltdown here, it will make things worse. I stood up and ran out of the school. I just kept running to the orphanage, tears continuing to fall and blow away in the breeze as I did.

2 Novembre 2023 11:39 0 Rapport Incorporer Suivre l’histoire
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