And now here I am, in my way to Australia, to meet 5 Seconds of Summer, I'm nervous as fuck. I was about to arrive in Sidney, where they were going to pick me up. I don't even know who I am right now, my whole body is shaking, I land in less than ten minutes and my heart is going out my chest.
I was finally there, I couldn't move, I couldn't think clear. Okay, just calm, nothing has to happen, it will be great, and I'm going to spend the best time ever. OMG, I CAN'T BELIVE THAT I'M HERE!
My manager was with me during this adventure, we were walking through the airport, he seems relaxed, the total opposite of me, I was looking everywhere to notice if they were near. Can I please stop acting like a 15 years old teenager? I don't wanna feel embarrassed in front of them.
Alex, my manager, and I were walking for a while, until I finally see four guys standing near the entrance, they were wearing sunglasses and staring at their phones, but I knew it was they. I looked at my self in a little mirror that I had, only to know if I was good looking or a total catastrophe, luckily I was just perfect. I was wearing black jeans, a large sweater and my favorite black boots, and when I looked at Luke he was exactly dressed like me, is kinda amusing.
-Hi, guys! Nice to meet you. -Said Alex when we arrived next to the band.
-Omg, you're finally here, how are you? How was the flight? -Mike looks so happy and excited, he was so adorable.
-Calm down, dude, you had to many expressos this morning. -This time was Luke the one who talked.
-Sorry, well... We are Luke, Calum, Ashton and me, Michael, but you already know that.
-I'm so happy that I finally meet you, I'm very excited. -It was my turn to talk, I did it, but I still nervous.- I'm Denisa, by the way, but you know it too.
They laughed and smiled.
-What if we go somewhere to eat and know a little bit more of each other? -Proposed Calum.
-Eat? What hour is it? -I was completely desoriented.
-Well, not eat, have breakfast, is 9 A.M.
-I have spent 26 hours in an airplane, I don't even know who I am. -I said as a joke.
-OMG, you sound exactly like Luke. -Response Mike laughing.
After that we all went to Michael's car, ready to go to some place to have our meal. All was being just fine, but there was a little detail that made me feel strange, Ashton haven't said anything to me since he saw me, not even hello, maybe he's having a bad day or something, but I don't know, that doesn't felt well to me at all.
-So, Denisa, how much time have you been singer? -Asked me Luke while we were going to the Cafe.
-Oh... Less than three months, I think. I started singing when I got dropped of my job. -I explained them.
-Only three months? That can't be possible, you're voice is gorgeous, D. -The way that Mike called me was surprising, but I kinda like it.
-Thank you, but honestly don't think so.
-If that wasn't true you weren't here now. -Said Luke.
-Guys, stop, you'll gonna make me blush!
-Okay... I need to say one last thing, -Exclamed Mike.- D, you look exactly like Luke, are you secret siblings or something?
-Why are you so fucking stupid, Mike? -Asked Luke to the boy.
-What have I said? -We all laughed after saw Mike's face, well, all of us besides Ashton, he was looking through the window all time, it seems like he doesn't care about any of us.
-Have you slept during the flight? -Asked Calum.
-Not a little bit.
-Aren't you tired?
-Yeah, I'm distroyed, but is okay.
-I think you need a coffee urgently, maybe more than one. -Said Mike.
-I totally agree with that, I don't know how I can even continue thinking in English without saying something wrong.
-Isn't English one of you're principal languages? -Asked Luke.
-No is not, in fact, this is the first time ever that I talk with someone in complete English.
-Wow, it doesn't seems like that at all, you speak like a total native. -Continued talking the same guy.
-Thanks, I'm trying to do my best.
The way to the city was long as hell, but the landscapes of Sidney were incredible, one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. I was talking happily with the band, but my issue with Ashton didn't disappear, he hasn't said nothing in like 30 minutes, I wanted to talk with him, but I had no clue of what I can say to don't upset him more than he is now, what's wrong with you, Ash? You seemed to be the most outgoing person of the band and you're are acting like a complete antisocial...
-Hey, man, are you okay? -I heard Luke whispering to Ash, I think I was the only one who noticed that.
-Yes, I'm fine... -I've never heard Ashton's voice so broken.
-Come on, Ash! You're no kidding anyone. -Luke was still whispering to him. They were sitting one next the other, but behind me, so I can hear them almost perfectly. Ash sights before he started talking.
-Kay left home, last night... She said she needed space, then she picked up her things and left. Before that we had a really bad fight... -After hearing his explanation I felt very bad for Ash, I really wanted to give him a hug.
-I'm so sorry, Ash... But you already were having a lot of problems with her, she was turning you in to dust slowly, maybe this is the best thing that could happened...
-Yeah, you're right. But it still hurts, you know? I feel so stupid for letting her distroy me like this, I did everything for her and after all this time she just left, and I couldn't say a word because she was crying and making me look like the monster in this story. Omg! I'm such an idiot.
-No, you're not, Ash, you're incredible, the best guy a woman ever dreamed. She is the stupid here for letting you go, for doesn't see all the good things you have. Come on, dude, have fun today, forget her, here's a girl who came here to work with us, to meet us, and you haven't even greeted her... Let's have a good time and Kay can go to fuck her self.
-Thank you, Luke, I'm going to be okay, and I'm going to have fun from now on.
-That's my guy, we're about to arrive, I want to see a smile in you're face when we get of the car.
That was the last time I heard Luke talking during the trip. We finally arrived to the place to eat, we all sat around a table and ordered our food, that's when I heard Ash talking for the first time since I'm in Sidney.
-Guys, I have to go outside for a second, I'm right back. -After saying that I got up and I left the Cafe.
I really needed a little of air and space. I've been getting text messages from my ex from like an hour now, and I think that I can't manage it anymore. He's the biggest mistake I've ever made! Omg, I hate him so fucking much.
Another message arrived to my phone, It says:
"Se que he sido un hijo de puta, pero por favor, habla conmigo. Te necesito..."
I felt how a tear ran through my face after reading the text, then I started crying. Why I had to fell in love with the devil? I was just fine before he came to my life, WHY YOU HAD TO DISTROY ALL?
-Denisa? -I heard a voice behind me and I cleaned my face as fastest as I could.
-Are... Are you okay?
-What? Yes, sure, I'm fine. Did you want something?
-Yes, uhm... I want to apologize for my behavior earlier, I should welcome you, I'm sorry...
-Is okay, Ash, don't worry. -I stopped talking thinking if I might say him that I heard Luke and he talking in the car before.- I... Before I heard you talking with Luke while we where coming here...
-Oh... I see... -He didn't seem happy about what I've said.
-I didn't meant to listen anything, but now I can say that we are going through the same shit.
-That why were you crying before? -I looked away from him and I sight.
-Yes, he ruined my whole life and now he's saying that he loves me and that we should talk... I think that is the first time ever that a really hate someone.
-Can I ask what happened? -I was surprised about his question, I didn't expect that.
-He made me lose my job, he made my boyfriend broke up with me... He made me think he loved me and then betrayed me cheating on me. I had an accident, I lost a baby and then I started singing. Maybe it doesn't sound extremely bad, there's more story in the middle, but I don't want to bore you.
-Wow... I have no words... That's horrible, D. Can I call you D?
-Yeah, sure, no problem. And yes, is horrible, and hard, God, I think is one of the worst moments of my life, but I'll be okay soon, or at least, I think so. Can I tell you something about your situation?
-Yes, go ahead.
-She don't deserves you, she's such a coward for leaving with out talking to you. I'll tell you something, I've always admired you, more that anyone else, and right now that feeling is getting bigger, 'cause I see my self reflected in you, and your talent is inmeasurable. I don't know why I'm saying this, but my point is that, I know it hurts, but you are strong, Ash, you can go through this and much more, don't let an ass hole mess up with your head and live your life being free.
-Thank you, D... I feel like I know you for years, is crazy, but kind of nice.
-I totally agree with you. -We both smiled and looked at each other, I don't know what, but something really special was created that morning.
The next day...
I woke up in my hotel room, it was 8 A.M and I didn't wanted to wake up, but there was so much work to do. I dressed up and I went to the buffet, where the boys were waiting for me. Fun fact, they have a room in the same hotel than me because their house is in L.A, but they wanted to record our song here in Sidney.
I picked up a coffee and I went to the table where they all were, they and two girls that I didn't know yet, but I can imagine who they are.
-Good morning! -I said happily while I was sitting in the only chair it was left, what was right next to Ashton.
-Morning, D. How are you? -Asked Calum.
-I'm so sleepy, but excited for start working. -I looked at the two girls I didn't know- I think we didn't meet yet, I'm Denisa, nice to meet you two.
-I'm Crystal, is a pleasure. -She said with a kind smile.
-My fiancee! -Exclaimed Mike happily, making me laugh, I obviously know that already
-Sierra, I'm so glad that I finally met you, I was expecting this moment. -I looked at she shooked.
-You were expecting to meet me? I'm confused. -I said laughing.
-Sierra was the one who showed us your live videos singing our songs. -Explained Luke.
-Oh... I didn't know that, in that case, thank you so much, Sierra, without you I wouldn't be here now.
-There's nothing to thank for, you got magic in you're voice, girl, you earned this by your self. -I didn't know what to say after that, so I only smiled and I felt how my chicks went blushy.
-Hey, D, do you play any instrument? -Asked Michael.
-Yes, I play the guitar and the piano, in fact, Alex is about to bring my guitar.
In that moment I received a message, gratefully it was my manager:
"Denisa, I think there's a little problem with your guitar."
My response was:
"Bring it to me ASAP, I'm in the buffet with the boys"
I was a little worried about what Alex said, what can be wrong with my guitar? I haven't take it out of it's bag for weeks, it can't be broken or something like that.
-Is everything okay? -Asked Ashton.
-I don't really know... Alex said that there's something wrong with my guitar and I don't know what he's trying to say.
-Don't worry, everything is gonna be okay, you'll see. -Said Calum. I breathe deeply and I tryed to calm down.
-I hope so, Cal...
We continued talking like nothing happened, but I personally couldn't stop thinking of that message, I was getting more worried by second. I felt how a hand landed on my knee, and when I looked, Ashton was staring at me smiling, how he can be so adorable? For some reason I don't know, I felt peace when he did that.
-Good morning, Denisa, here's your guitar. -Said Alex entering the place.
Scared I took it and I landed in the floor to open it, praying for being okay. But obviously it wasn't, my world paraliced when I saw my guitar in broken pieces, and when I say broken I mean that it looks like someone took it and hit it to the pavement.
-Holy shit... What happened to your guitar? -Asked Sierra.
-I... I don't know, it was perfect, it couldn't broke during the flight, it was with me all the time...
-It looks like there's a paper, like a letter or something like that. -Said Calum, and he was right, there was a paper stuck in the guitar case.
I got it and I was going to read it but it was in Spanish, what made me know from who it was and who made this to my guitar.
-Son of a bitch, I'm going to kill him... -I whispered, but all listened to me.
-What does the letter say? -Asked Luke.
-I don't know, I don't wanna read it, I know exactly who did this.
-Give me the letter. -Said Alex. He's Spanish like me, and he already knows all my story with Carlos and what he's capable of.
-I need some air. -After saying that I got up and I went outside, leaving the guitar and the boys there.
Denisa left the place almost running. I looked at the guys, no one knew what to do in that situation.
-Omg, this is sick. -Said Alex after reading the letter.
-What does it say? -Sierra asked. We all wanted to know it.
-It says that he did that to the guitar because of her, he mean that is her fault and he want she to know the meaning of loosing all... The fuck is wrong with this guy...?
-Who is him? -I asked, worried.
-I'm going to talk with she. -I said getting up of my chair and putting on my jacket.
-I'll go with you. -Said Luke.
I didn't said nothing and I took my way to find D, with Luke following me from behind. We looked for she for a while, until we finally found her in a small alley it was near the hotel, she was talking on the phone with someone, I didn't know what she was saying because she was speaking in Spanish, but she looked angry as fuck.
-Esta vez has caído demasiado bajo, luego dices que me quieres... Aguanto tus putos mensajes diarios, tus llamadas borracho, tus cambios de emociones, ¡Pero lo que no te voy a permitir es que destroces mis cosas a tu gusto! ¿TE PARECE NORMAL HABER HECHO MI PUTA GUITARRA PEDAZOS? Es denunciable, Carlos. -She stopped talking for some seconds, while the other person was talking.- ¿TE CREES QUE ESTAR BORRACHO ES RAZÓN DE SOBRA PARA HACER LO QUE HACES? Eres la peor persona que he conocido nunca, y te juro que como sigas acosandome y destrozandome la vida haré lo posible por que no me puedas hablar o ver nunca más y haré que todo el mundo descubra como realmente eres. (...) ¡DIOS, ERES DESPRECIABLE!
Her voice broke as she shouted that, I've never heard a voice with that pain in it. She hang out the phone and felt in to the ground crying, Luke and I ran to her, we didn't know what to do.
I stand there, looking at her, I was frezze, but Luke sat down next to her and huged her. I did the same thing as my friend and we waited till she stopped crying, she looked so fragile and broken, that made me feel like I had to protect her more than anything else, which is a little strange.
-I can't handle this anymore, it has went so far and... I just can't anymore, I can't pretend that I'm okay anymore, because I'm not... I'm sorry, you shouldn't saw anything of this, I came here to work not to tell you my problems... -Her mood changed so fast, it was surprising, she doesn't seemed sad or angry anymore after her last sentence.
-Hey, it's okay, everyone has its problems, if you're not good you don't have to hide it, you are human. -I looked at Luke while he was talking with Denisa, is strange to see Luke with such confidence with someone new.
-Yeah... Maybe you're right... Let's go back inside, I'm better now. -I didn't belive at all what she said, but she's a very good actress.
We all stand up and went back to the hotel. When I was about to enter Luke stopped me and took me apart to talk.
-Are you okay, man? You acted so strange, I mean, you practically paralyzed in front of her while she was crying.
-I don't know, I feel like is something inside of me screaming to protect her and is insane, I don't even know she so well, I mean, we met yesterday... I'm going crazy.
-No, Ash, you're not going crazy, I think is beautiful to feel like that, if something is saying you to protect her, maybe you have to belive in that. -He turned to watch her for a second, then he looked again at me.- I know you've notice her mood change before, and we know that she's not okay, she's pretending it, so I think that you two should help each other through your situation.
Without saying anything to Luke, I looked at her, that stunning brunette girl, with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen and with the same demons as me. She noticed that I was staring at her and she blinked me an eye with a lovely smile. I swear that I felt like my heart skipped a beat. In that moment I heard something in my mind screaming: She must be yours!
We were finally at the "writing place", there were some productors and us, trying to make a song that fits all of us, maybe is gonna be hard, but I know we can do it.
-Hey, Luke, can you borrow me your guitar for a second, please?
-Sure, have you got something? -He asked me while he was giving me the instrument.
-I think so, I have to try it first.
-Can you sing it for all of us? I would love to listen you singing. -I looked at Mike a little scared, I didn't expect that I had to sing out loud.
-Well... I can try... -I got ready with my fingers in the right chords, and I breath deeply.- "You had my heart in your hands, but you threw it away. You're trying to hurt me with your words, and "I love you" are the worst ones. I wish you were only a bad dream, but you became my own real demon."
I stopped singing and I was terrified of looking at the boys, what if what I've written is terrible? Or my voice wasn't right? Shyly I looked up, trying not to look directly in to their eyes.
-That was fucking incredible, Denisa. -Exclaimed Luke.
-Are you serious? Do you really like it? -I asked nervous.
-Like it? Is gorgeous, D. -Said Mike.
I looked at Ashton trying to find out if he'd like it or not, and didn't know why, but I needed his approval. He was right in front of me, but his eyes were only looking at his paper, where he was writing god knows what. A little disappointed I continued talking with the other boys. Is okay, Ash, maybe I had the wrong idea of who you are...
(Some hours later...)
We were back in the hotel after four hours of trying to write a song, we've only written the chorus, well, technically I wrote it. They told me they loved what I did, so that is going to be the repeated part of the song.
Now I was dressing up a little more elegant, because the guys had the brilliant idea to go to a super fancy restaurant, what means, expensive. I put on a white short dress, it was between being casual and formal, so was perfect. Then I had some white heel sandals and I make up a little bit. When I look at the mirror I thought that it was so much white, so I put on a black leather jacket and I changed my sandals for a pair of tall boots, then I was ready to go. I took my little bag and I went to the reception to wait for the guys and the girls.
I've been waiting for like ten minutes when I saw them all coming to me. I stand up from the chair where I was sat on and I look at them, they were looking stunning, to many beauty in six people.
-You look amazing, girl. I fucking love that dress. -Said Sierra when she saw me.
-I agree with Sierra, but, heels? Are you kidding me? You are taller than Luke. -Said Calum making me laugh.
-I'm not taller than Luke. -I stand next to him to improve my words.- Well, maybe a little bit.
-You are making us feel short, and that's hard. -Said Luke.
-You are feeling short? Bitch, look at me, I'm a hobbit next to you. -Sierra complained.
-Okay, next time I'll put convers on. -I said laughing, and they did the same thing.
We all got in to an Uber and we were chatting as normal, with joke and stuff like that till Mike shouted something:
-Tomorrow is your birthday!!
-Are you stupid? You scared me! -Said Crystal to the guy.- Who's birthday?
-D's birthday, why haven't you told us? -Answered Mike.
-Because I... I forgot, there are to many things happening, is a miracle that I remember that my flight is in two days. -I didn't wanted to say the real reason, so I invented something.
-TWO DAYS?! -Shouted Mike, Sierra, Calum and Luke at the same time.
-Yes, you didn't know?
-Is obviously that we didn't, you can't go, there's so many things to do and we just met, you can't just go. -Said Mike.
-I don't wanna go back, belive me... But when our managers talked about this they decided that. And if I'm not wrong, you're going back to L.A in two days too.
-Yes we are, but we wanted you to came with us... We are going to explain this to you later, when we arrive to the restaurant. -Said Luke.
-Wait, what? You can't say that and shout up, that hype is not legal. -I said indignant.
-We are about to arrive, don't worry.
I didn't say anything more and I started looking through the window. One or two minutes later I was surprised with a text from Ashton:
-You lied. -I read the message shooked.
-What do you mean?
-You didn't forget about your birthday, it was a lie.
-How are you so sure?
-Am I wrong?
-Is not of your business.
After that last message I locked up my phone. I heard Ashton sight behind me, I don't know what's wrong with you, but you're been so annoying with your strange behavior.
We finally arrived to the restaurant, incredible by the way. We went to our table and ordered the food and drinks, Mike, Crystal and I wanted a red wine, the others preferred to ask for a cocktail.
-I think is time to tell you what we have planned, I've to admit that we decided that today after our writing session, but my point is that we want you to come with us to L.A, where we are going to finish our album and our song, and then we want you to come with us on tour. -I looked at Luke without believing anything.
-What? Are you serious? I mean, is awesome, but, are you serious? -My mind crashed in that moment, I didn't knew what to say.
-Of course we are serious, D. So, what you say? Do you wanna come with us?
-Oh my God, yes! I'll love that. -I wanted to cry, that was the best thing ever happened to me.
-Cool, because we'd already talked to your manager, it would be a problem if you said no. -Luke laughed and smiled to me.- I'm kidding, we are so glad of having you with us during this tour.
-This seems like a fucking dream.
-Ow! You're so cute. -Said Crystal.
-No I'm not.
-Yes you are. -Said Luke, Sierra, Mike, Calum and Crystal at the same time. Ash was quiet and staring to his phone... As always.
-Okay, okay... If you said so... -We laughed then Mike took his glass.
-I think this deserves a toast.
We all got our glasses in the air making them collide.
After that we continued talking, wondering how the tour is going to be, and things like that. I was so exited for all what was happening, I've finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel.
I was back in my hotel room, after talking with my manager my best friend called me, and we where talking for an hour and a half. I was already on my pj's and almost ready to go to sleep, in two hours is my birthday and I don't want to be awake when it comes. I took a book to read for a while and I lay down on the bed.
After some time I was so sleepy, so I tried to sleep, but I couldn't, cause I heard how someone knocked on my door. I got up from the bed and I went to open the door.
-Ashton... What are you doing here? -I asked when I saw him there.
-I wanted to talk with you, and maybe continue the song. -He examined me then he focused his eyes on mine.- I think I came in the wrong time.
-Oh, not at all, come in, is okay.
I entered the room again with he following me. We sat down on my bed and we stayed there without saying anything for some time, it was a little uncomfortable.
-I'm sorry... About my behavior today, I'm a complete idiot, you're nice and kind with me and I act like a dumb little boy... -Apologized him.
-Don't worry, Ash... I kinda understand it, you're not going through your best time, me neither, and every person reacts in a different way. I'm not angry with you.
-But I saw your face, you seemed disappointed with me before while we were at the restaurant.
-I wasn't disappointed, I was wondering how I can help you... I really want to meet that sassy man that you are and I'll do anything for help you.
-How can you help me? I feel worst every day, and nobody could help me...
-I'm psychologist, Ashton. That's my real job... The one I lost four months ago because of my ex... I'll help you, if you let me do it.
-You're more incredible that I thought, Denisa... Every time I talk with you I discover new things about you and I think is fascinating. -My eyes were stuck in his, that amazing hazel eyes. We stayed in silence, only staring at each other for I don't know how much time, but I didn't care, I was feeling like I was in other word.
-About what? -We both were whispering, our eyes still connected.
-About my birthday, you were right.
-Why do you wanna hide it?
-A year ago I met Carlos and my boyfriend in that moment proposed to me... Since that day every thing went wrong. This is the best thing that happened to me in one year.
-How can you go through all without going insane?
-I don't know, I had to stay strong, I'm afraid of seem fragile and vulnerable...
-I really understand you.
-Is like we have the same demons, the same issues, the same fears...
-The same needs and feelings... -We were getting closer while we were talking. God, I was to close to him, I could feel his ragger breath colliding with mine.
The sexual tension between us was gigantic. My heart was beating so fast, maybe I was going insane, but I needed to kiss him. He got even closer, our noses were almost brushing.
-You know? I think that I'm actually crazy. -Said Ash while he was putting his hand on my face, around my cheek.
-Why do you think that?
-Because I feel that my demons are gone when I'm with you.
-But we met yesterday.
-That's the reason of why I'm crazy, I don't have to feel like that when I don't even know you, but here we are...
-In that case, I'm crazy to...
He was about to kiss me. He was so near, I could almost feel him. But when he was going to make it happen my fucking phone started ringing!
I stepped back, realizing what was happening. I took my phone and I looked who was calling me, omg, I'll never get rid of him...
-It's like he knows when is the worst moment to call. -I said hanging.
-Is everything okay? -I turned to look at Ash, he was blushed and obviously nervous.
-Yes... Well, it was my ex, again...
-Oh, I see... Do you want me to leave or something?
-What? No, no... Uhm... You wanted to continue with the song writing, right?
-Yes but I don't want to bother you.
-You're not bothering me at all, I actually had some ideas before, I want to know what do you think about them.
-That sounds nice, do you need the guitar?
-What if you play it and I sing? -Ashton smiled and took the guitar, I took my notebook as well and we started with the writing night.
(The next morning)
Oh my God, I'm so tired! I have slept only two hours, but Ash and I have finished the song, now the only thing left is to show it to the other band members and listen what they think about.
I got dressed, I took all the things I needed to show them, and I went to the hotel Cafe. When I arrived there was only Sierra, so I sat next to her.
-Good morning, Sierra. -I said yawning.
-Happy birthday, D! -Exclaimed her when she saw me.
-Thank you. -I yawned again.
-You look tired, haven't you slept?
-Not to much, I was with Ash finishing the song.
-Ooh! Have you finish it? I'll love lo listen it.
-Yes, we did, when the ones who are left came I'll show it to you. -In that moment appeared Luke from behind.
-Morning, D! Morning, babe. -He kissed her girlfriend and sat down next to her.- Happy birthday, Didi!
I felt a little heartache when he called me like that, because my ex used to call me like that...
-Thank you, Lukey! -I said blinking an eye to him.
-D and Ash have finished the song. -Said Sierra to Luke.
-What? That amazing, when did you did it?
-Last night, I'm waiting for the others to come so I can show it to you. I really want to know your opinion about it.
-I'm sure that it's awesome, a 100%.
-For me and Ash it is, I hope that for you it is too.
-What is the mood of the song? -Asked Sierra.
-Is a mix between Lie to me, Ghost of you, Stay and High.
-Oh well, I'm going to cry a lot listening to that.
-Two broken souls can't create light.
-I love that phrase, please, write it down somewhere. -Said Luke excited. I did what he said and I wrote it on my phone notes.
-D, you overflow with talent for every pore of your skin, you're such an inspiration.
-OMG, Si! That's not true at all, I'm just a normal girl.
-Denisa, you are talented, is a fact, everyone thinks the same, why can't you just accept it? It's okay to be humble, but not to the point of putting yourself down. -I turned around and Ash was there.
-Where the hell have you came from now? -I asked him.
-I've been behind you for a while, you should belive more in your self, lady.
-That's creepy, and I believe in myself, but I'm being realistic, I really don't think that I have the talent you all say I have.
-Yeah, you don't have that talent, you're right, let me get my flying car to bring you back to Spain.
-Okay, go get it, I'll wait here.
-Nice, I'll be right back.
After say that he left the Cafe.
-Is he really going to get a car? -Asked Sierra shooked.
-I don't know... There're no flying cars! The fuck is he going?
-Good morning! Where's Ashton going? We just met him in the reception. -Asked Mike arriving with Crystal and Calum.
-We have no fucking idea, he said he's going to get a flying car. -I explained to them.
-But flying cars don't exist... -Said Mike.
-Yeah, that's the point. I think we should let him sleep a little bit more, he hasn't slept much.
-Oooh! What was he doing? And why do you know that? -I laughed at Michael's face.
-We've finished the song last night, we end it at 5.30am.
-What?! The song is finished? We need to listen to that right now. -Said Mike pulling me to go with him.
-Maybe we should wait for Ash... -I didn't want to sing in front of all off them.
-PLEASEEEEE! -I looked at Cal and Luke didn't knowing what to do.
-Okay, let's go to my room. -I said then I sight, why did I say anything?
The six of us went to my hotel room, hopefully Ashton left his guitar here last night.
-Sit down wherever, don't be shamed.
I took a chair and Ashton's guitar, it was so beautiful, I really love it. I opened my notebook to read the lyrics, my fingers were trembling but I put them on the chords and I started singing, I was just looking at the guitar, without thinking about the people there was in the room in that moment.
Everything was so strange, when I was with Ash alone I felt confortable and protected, now I was feeling like there's something missing. I remembered last night when the black hair boy and I almost kissed... My God, I really wanted that. With him is everything so different, I feel like we know each other for a live time, but we actually just met. The chemistry between us is something we can't deny.
I stopped singing leaving the guitar next to me. All the people in the room started to applause, I looked at them with a shy smile and my heart rate faster than before.
-That was so beautiful... The feeling you had singing it was just incredible. -Said Luke.
I looked at Sierra and I noticed that she was crying, so I ran to hug her.
-What's wrong, Si?
-Nothing, I just got emocional. I don't know, your voice was so sweet and the guitar, the lyrics, how your voice broke in some point... I don't know it touched my heart.
-Oh, didn't mean to make anyone cry. -I looked at Crystal.- My God, Crys, you too?
-What? No, I'm okay, I just... I didn't want to cry, but you are so magical. While you were singing I felt like I could feel your pain, all you're being through... It was incredible.
-I can't understand why you always say that you're not that talented, when you obviously are, I mean, look what have you just done, and it was made in a single night.
-Without Ashton the song wouldn't be finished, is not all my achive
My phone star ringing again, and what a surprise... It was he once more. I hang and I threw my phone in the bed in a bad way.
-You all right? -Asked Calum coming next to me.
-He keeps calling over and over again, is exasperating.
-Why don't you just block him from every platform? -I didn't say anything and I looked right to the floor, I didn't want to admit the truth out loud.
-You still have feelings for him, don't you? -Sierras voice saying that words was like a knife in my heart.
-I'm the biggest idiot for that reason...
-No, girl, is normal, is been only what? One month since you break up, you don't have to feel you're an idiot for that.
-He distoyed my whole life! I lost everything because of him: friends, my job, a baby... I was at the hospital while he was cheating on me, I was a fool thinking that he was at home worrying for me...
-Oh God, he's such a monster. -After Mike said that I remembered something...
-Fuck, I forget...
-What did you forget? -Asked Luke.
-I actually have to go back to Spain, I have a show in Madrid in four days... I don't know if I can do it...
-Why can't you do it? Is not your first show, right?
-I don't sing alone when I perform, I have a parter, and that's why I don't know if I can do it...
-You are with Carlos on stage... -Whispered Sierra.
-Yes, I'm alone with him in front of 500 of people and I have to act like we're okay when I can't even read his texts without crying...
-Can we go with you? -Asked Mike happily.
-What? -I didn't understand what he wanted.
-We can go with you and perform with you on stage, so you won't be alone with him. And I really want to go to Spain and this a good reason.
-Are you serious right now? Are you nuts? I can't make you come with me just for a show that is not even yours. I can't pay you four neither, and there's not enough time for you to learn all the songs I'll play.
-I actually think is a great idea. -Said Luke.
-Yeah, I agree with them. -Calum was smiling, like the other ones, they looked excited with Mike's idea.
-Come on, girl, is gonna be fun, you can show us your house and where you live.
-I don't know, guys... I don't even have the instruments you play, and I need to talk with Alex before we decide anything.
-Alex likes the idea, I just talked with him. -Said Mike showing me his phone.
-Okay, in that case, everyone is coming to Spain!
-Guys, we should go to our fave place here to celebrate D's b-day and our trip. -Proposed Crystal.
-I'm totally in. -Agreed Mike.
We all looked at each other and smiled.
-We're in. -Said all together.
-That's awesome, but I don't have anything to put on tonight... D, Crys, let's go shopping!
All the girls on the room stand up and we took our stuff, then we left my room.
-Close the door when you exit. -That was the last thing I said to the boys, after that I followed the girls to go somewhere shopping.
(Later that day...)
-It's 6pm? Damn girls, we spent so much time there. Weren't your boys complaining about that? -I asked while we were entering again the hotel.
-No, I actually think they were happy of had rid of us.
-How rude! Mike will never want to get rid of me.
-Do you know anything about Ashton?
-No, I haven't talk with him since this morning.
-I'm worried, he left saying he's going to get a fucking flying car.
-I'm sure he's okay, D, don't worry, he's a big boy. -Sierra blinked me an eye, then I opened my room door.
I turned on the lights and I couldn't belive what I was seeing, my place was completely decorated as a birthday party.
-Surprise! -Shouted all the boys and girls.
-Omg, this is amazing. How did you...? -I was shocked, I didn't expect anything of this.
-Yeah, you left us here, so we thought it can be nice to make a little surprise party for you. -Said Luke with an adorable smile.
-You all are incredible, thank you so much.
They smiled and hugged me, the five of them at the same time. Wait. Only five? Ashton is still not here, the fuck has he go?
-Guys, I appreciate your loving, but I can't breathe. -I said laughing but they didn't get off of me.
-If you can talk you can breathe. -Said Michael.
-God, are you kidding?
-Okay, I think is enough. -Said Calum.
-Fine... Who wants tequila? -Exclaimed Luke getting two bottles in his hands.
-What type of shitty question is that? We all want, you dork. -Said Sierra to her man.
-I love healthy relationships. -I laugh after saying that, just like the others.
We started a little party at my room, and I was really enjoying it. I've to admit that I got a little drunk, but nothing I can't manage. Now it was almost eleven in the night, everyone went to its room to get dressed to go to the pub they wanna take me.
I was almost ready, I had a red velvet tight short drees, chosen by Sierra, and red heels sandals as well. I was getting my hair ready when I heard three knocks on my door. I went to open it and I was surprised by Ashton.
-Ashton... Where have you been? I was worried. -I said moving a side to let him in.
-Yeah, uhm... I needed time to do this...
After that he showed me a guitar case, that can't be real.
-Happy birthday, Denisa.
-Oh my God, you're crazy, Irwin.
-Come on, stop complaining and open it. -Why was his smile so beautiful?
-Okay, okay, I'll open it.
I took the case and I sat down on my bed. I was so nervous. Slowly I opened it and I paralyze.
-No, you don't... How did you know?
In front of me was a Taylor 214ce Deluxe black acoustic guitar. The guitar I've always wanted, my dream made guitar now was in front of me. God, it was so beautiful to be real.
-Do you like it? -His shy looking was so cute for me.
-Like it? I fucking love it! -I said jumping in to his arms.
He hugged me strongly and started spinning with me between his arms, while we were laughing. I was so happy in that moment.
Ash landed me in the floor again and we looked at each other, he's smile was something that I would love to see every day in every moment. He's arms still around my waist and mine were around his neck.
-You look incredible. -Whispered he.
I felt how my checks went red when he said that. Fucking Ashton, stop messing with my head.
-We letf something in the middle last night. -He keeped whispering, so I did.
-But we finished the song.
-I'm not talking about the song, D.
-So what are you... -I didn't finish my question because I realized what he was talking about.
My eyes stuck in his lips. I went back to look in to his hazel eyes, they were charming, I was really under Ashton's power right now.
-I don't know what the fuck is happening to me, D. I can't stop thinking of you. Your voice, your smile, your laugh... Are always in my head and is crazy because I shouldn't feel like this, no so earlier.
-I feel like everything is better when I'm with you, I'm not sad anymore, I'm not angry... And I can't understand why, but I like it. I like who I am when I'm with you, I like what I feel when you're with me...
He stopped talking but he didn't took his sight out of me. My heart was beating so heavy and I wasn't able to control my own breath. We were so near, and I was going insane.
He got even closer to me, our noses were touching, and even I couldn't see he's mouth, I knew he was smiling.
-I don't know what I'm going to do, but if I don't I know I'll be complaining for the rest of my life...
I was seeing all in slow motion, a few microseconds felt like minutes, but he finally kissed me. He brought me even closer to him, his hands were around my face while mine were lost in his hair.
He leaned me against the wall, making us separate for a second, then we kissed again. It was like we needed each other, it was the most desperate kiss I've ever had, I didn't what him to stop. But there's something on the bottom of my head saying that isn't correct.
-What if we stay here instead of going with the others? -Whispered Ashton between kisses.
-We can't do that.
-Why? We are better here, alone... -He started kissing my neck.
-Ash... -I couldn't think clear, he was making me feel so good.
His hands were all around my body, going up and down. I just lead my head back to let him more space, and once again... My phone rang.
-Whore phone shit!
I pushed Ash apart and without minding who was I hang. I let my self fall in my bed with the hands on the face, hiding it. I was confused, angry and hot at the same time. I stand up and I looked at Ash, he was blushed and had a little shy smile on his face.
-D... I'm sorry, I shouldn't did that...
-It's okay... Just don't tell it to anyone, this will be our secret, okay?
-I won't, I promise.
-Maybe you should leave...
-Oh, yeah, sure... -I saw how his face turned a little sad.
-I don't regret what happened, Ashton. -He smiled.- You're incredible, and I really like you, but I have to think in what I'm feeling now to not make a mistake.
-It's fine, I'll let you finish your look.
-Thank you, see you in... -I checked the hour.- in ten minutes, omg, I don't have enough time.
He laughed and putted my hair behind my ear.
-I'll be waiting in the lobby, I'm already ready.
He kissed my cheek and left the room. I breathe deeply when he closed the door. Can't my live be normal for some days? I really need a rest of crazy things.
Sierra and I were going to the hotel entrance, where we were going to meet the other. I couldn't stop looking at my girl, she was stunning, well, she's always amazing, but tonight she was in the next level.
We arrived to the reception, there was only Ashton. He looked like he was worried or thinking in something really important for him. We went next to him and sat down in the chair at his left.
-Hey Ash, where have you been? We thought you aren't coming with us.
-I had something to do, but Mike texted me before saying that you're going to Space Jam and I couldn't deny it. -He said laughing.
-Do you know we are going to Spain? -Asked Sierra excited.
-Why are you going there?
-No, not only us, we all, D, Mike, Crys, Calum, and obviously you have to come too. -Explains my girl.
-Okay, but why?
-Deni has a show in four days, and we thought it can be amazing to be with her on stage playing.
-I don't know guys, are you sure? -It looks like the idea don't fit with Ash at all.
-Is the only way we found to don't let her alone with her ex on stage, she has to sing with him and don't want to, we convinced her to do it but with us by her side.
-Ash, my heart broke when I heard she saying what he did to her, we can't left her alone now. -Ashton's face changed completely when he heard we were talking about D.
-Fine, I'll go, when are we going?
-Tomorrow. -I said with a big smile.
-Oh wow. And where are we staying?
-What? Does she have enough space for us? We are to many people.
-Yes, well, Sierra and I will have a room, Mike and Crys too, and you and Cal have to sleep in the living.
-I can't wait to meet her cat! -Exclaimed Sierra.- She has a little black cat called Kora, is the cutest thing ever!
-Sorry, we are late, Mike didn't know what to put on, he's like a kid. -Crystal and Michael appeared in the lobby making us laugh of what she said.
-Oh, Mikey, you needed help to put your pants on? -Said Ashton in his normal sassy form.
-Fuck you, dude. -Ashton made a heart with his fingers and laughed.
-Hey fellas. Are you ready to go? -Said Calum arriving.
-Yes we are, but D is not here. -Explained Si.
-Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm here. -Denisa came running to us fixing her shoe and dress.
D is a really beautiful girl, I can say that because my girl thinks the same. She has a extremely long hair, even longer than Sierra's, her long legs and small waist made her look fantastic, she's the typical girl everyone can fall in love so easily, because of her talent, her kindness, her whole personality is just incredible.
She was wearing a red short dress, it was so tight, but it looks amazing on her. The dress had a slit on the right side, thus revealing her leg and giving her mobility. The make up was strong but didn't feel like to much, it was perfect. Her long hair was wavy, giving her a wild look.
-Oh my fucking God, D! -Shouted Si excited.
-What? Is something wrong. -The girl seemed confused by my lover reaction when she saw her.
-There's nothing wrong. You look fucking explosive!
-Just because you chose the dress, if it were up to me I would wear jeans. -She laughed and so did we.
-It's getting late, guys, and tomorrow we have a plane at 12 and I'm sure you won't wake up early. -Said Ashton in an authoritarian way.
-And thats why we call you daddy. -I said and I stand up of my chair.
We all went outside to get in to the Uber we've call before. Ash and D were sitting together, but they didn't talk with each other or even look to the other one, it was strange, like they were ashamed of staring at each other. They were actually so similar, and they were going through the same problems. Ashton told me that he wants and needs to protect D, I really hope he can when we meet her ex, is gonna be hard not to say something hurting to him when I see him. I don't know why, but D has fit with us since the first time we saw her, her personality is so similar to ours and in three days we are already friends.
-Hey, mate, where have you been all day? You missed the party at D's room. -Asked Mike to Ash.
-I had things to do. -The birthday girl and him looked at each for the first time since we are in the car, there was something weird going on.
-Have you seen the way they look at each other? -Whispered Sierra in my ear, so I was the only one who could hear it.
-Yes, maybe D knows where he went and why. -I said in the same way as she.
-You know we are going to find out what were you doing. -Said Calum putting a hand on Ashton's shoulder.
-Well, is nothing illegal, so I don't really care. -Response he laughing.
-If you don't care then why don't you tell us? -Insisted Mike.
-God, you're acting like little kids. -Sight Ash.- I'll let Denisa tell you, only if she want to.
All our attention went directly to D, who looked at us then at Ashton. She drow a beautiful and big smile on her face.
-Ash only wanted to make me a birthday gift. -Said she with a sweet voice.
-And the gift was.... -Insisted Crystal.
-A guitar. -Her smile went bigger when she said it.
-Oh wow, what guitar is it? -I asked.
-It's a Taylor 214ce Deluxe, in mate black and with golden details. Is so fucking incredible, I've been wanting that guitar for so long. -She looked so excited for her gift, she's so cute.
-Damn boy, you went hard to make her a gift. -Said Sierra surprised.
-I just wanted to have a little detail with her, and her guitar was broken.
-Talking 'bout guitars, D showed us the song you two wrote yesterday, is incredible, mate, Sierra and Crystal cried listening to it. -Told Calum to Ashton.
The black hair boy looked at her partner and she lifted her shoulders up.
-I wanted to wait till you come back, but Mike insisted so hard in listen it. -Ashton sight went to Michael, and he looked at him lifting an eyebrow.
-What?! I like to listen D singing. -Said he showing his hands as an innocence sign.
Ashton was going to say something, but the car stopped, making us know that we have arrived to our destiny. We get off the car and entered to the place, we had reserved a zone just for us, to have privacy. Once there we ordered our drinks and started having fun.
We all were dancing, singing, getting drunk... I was shocked when I saw D and Sierra dancing, it was so fucking hot. Then we started to film goofy ass videos just to share them on Instagram, this night seems incredible.
(Some hours later...)
At 4am we decided to go back to the hotel, to sleep a few hours before we take the plane to Spain. We were about to leave when we noticed something.
-Where the hell are D and Ashton? -I asked because I didn't see them nowhere.
-I don't know, they were here ten minutes ago. -Said Mike drinking from his cup.
-Fuck, Calum, call Ashton, my phone is dead and I can't.
He took his phone out and started trying to call our friend. Meanwhile, Sierra was calling an Uber to bring us back to the hotel.
-Hes phone is dead too, he isn't picking up. -Said Calum.
-Okay, let's go outside, maybe Ash wanted a cigarette and asked D to go with him.
They agreed with me and we all went outside the pub. We were looking around for a while, but they didn't appear.
-Maybe we should wait here, they must be somewhere near. -Proposed Si.
-They, who? -Said Ash from behind.
-Thank God, where the fuck did you go? -I asked worried.
-Relax, buddy, we only wanted to smoke.
-D smokes? -Asked Calum.
-Well, not cigarettes, but vape, is only for the taste, it doesn't have nicotine. -Explained the girl.
-Oh, what taste does it have? -Mike was a little to drunk, and it was kinda funny.
-Blue alien. -We all looked at her shocked.- Relax, it's just it name, it tastes as blueberries. -She laughed showing us her electronic cigarette with a blue liquid inside.
-Can I try it? -I looked at Calum like: Are you serious, bro?
-Yes, sure. -D handed him the thing.
-It actually tastes good, I'll buy one of that. -D laughed and smoked of that, then she threw the smoke into the air.
-Omg, it smells like blueberries too! -Exclaimed Sierra.
-I told to you. I only use it when I go to parties or I'm stressed out. -Explained the brunette girl. Then we all saw how Ashton went near her ear and whispered something, but no one listened it besides Denisa. Her face went a little red and she opened her eyes so much.- Shut up, you idiot!
-Oh, she called me idiot, I'm so hurt. -Said Ashton putting a hand on his heart, then he laughed.
-What did you call me? -Asked Ash offended.
-Search it on Google, Ashy.
He took his phone out and entered to Google to discover what had D said.
-I thought your phone died. -Said Calum.
-No, I just turn it off. -Explained the black hair guy. Then he continued with his search.
-Is not so hard, what are you searching, Ash? -Asked Denisa.
-I got it: "Douchebag, asshole, ass, and idiot" -Ashton read the translation out loud, making us laugh.- Ow, that was rude, lady.
-You deserve it.
-But what has he whispered to you? -Asked Crystal. She looked at her locked, like she didn't know what to say.
-Nothing, he's just an idiot. -In that moment the car arrived.- Look, the Uber is here, let's go, guys.
She was the first to get on the car, then we all did the same thing. Once in the hotel every one went to its room to sleep, we need to rest for tomorrow.
"Your lips taste as blueberry too..." that sentence was on repeat on my mind once and once again. Last night I've finally lost my mind, well, Ash and I did. We used the smoking excuse to cover what we were really doing: making out. He made me feel so well, his kisses were healing and... OMG, last night too many things happened between us.
Now we where at the airport, waiting to get on the plane. The hangover was something present in all of us, and I personally didn't drink to much last night, I didn't get wasted or something like that.
-I'm so tired! -Complained Luke laying on Sierra's shoulder.
-Denisa, ven. -Alex talked to me, in Spanish, that was strange.
-Dime, ¿que pasa?
-Carlos no está del todo de acuerdo con que la banda esté en el escenario.
-¿Estás hablando con él ahora? -He nodded and put the phone on speaker.- Como ellos no estén conmigo en el escenario, te juro por lo que más quieras que no pienso salir a cantar.
-Joder, Denisa, siempre tiene que ser todo como tú quieras. -I couldn't belive what I was listening.
-Cuelgale. -I said in a rude way.
-¿Por qué? ¿Que pasa?
-Está borracho, reconocería esa voz en cualquier lado. Da igual lo que hablemos con él ahora, no se va a acordar luego.
After saying that I get away from my manager and I sat down next to Ash, leaning on his arm.
-What's wrong, D? -He asked stroking my hair.- I heard you talking with Alex, but I didn't understand what you've said.
-My daily nightmare is making the things hard... He is refusing to have you four on stage...
-And what are we gonna do?
-You are going to play with me, I don't give a fuck of what he said, and he's drunk, so is like he didn't say anything because he won't remember tomorrow.
He continued stroking my hair slowly, like he was thinking about something. I looked at his face, it was so peaceful and perfect.
-Is posible to love a person in four days? -Asked he whispering.
-I think you can't control that at all, only your heart can choose when and who...
-You think that our hearts have chosen or that we feel like this because we are broken? -He looked at me waiting for my answer.
-Maybe we should wait a while to discover it, the only thing I'm sure I know is that you make me feel good and protected, like a saving grace.
-Maybe we were meant to collide.
-Destiny is a tricky thing. -He get closer to me getting sure that no one could see us.-
-I really want to kiss you, but I can't with all this people around, is so annoying. -Whispered he so close to my lips.
-I wish we could... Is the only thing that makes me feel in peace...
The stewardesses soon appeared, asking us to enter the plane on a seating order. The truth is, I was a little far from Ashton and I didn't want to, but seeing that my seat was next to Luke and Ashton's next to Si I had an idea.
-Hey, Luke, do you mind if you change your seat with Ashton, so you can be with Sierra during the flight?
-Ash is sitting with Si? -I nodded with an innocent smile, as if my intentions were not beyond the couple being together.- Okay, I'll tell him if he wants to make the change.
He got up and went two more high rows, where his girlfriend and friend were. Apparently it didn't take much to convince the drummer, as in just a minute he was already sitting next to me, staring at me with an accomplice smile and winking at me. The flight was extremely long, which provided us with a few seats with a minimum of privacy, and being in the bussines area that privacy was even greater, which I quite liked.
-I think I'm going to enjoy this flight. -Ashton said, intertwining our fingers and kissing on my knuckles.
-Sometimes I have good ideas.
-Yeah, I agree with that.
The plane didn't take long to take off, we had more than 24 hours ahead of us to be flying over the earth until we reached our destination, it was definitely going to be a lot of fun.
It wasn't long before Ashton decided to lower the panel that evades us from other passengers, our excuse would be that we wanted to sleep and that's why we ingested, although I don't know if we would sleep much during that trip...
-I think we are finally alone... -He whispered with a mischievous smile.
-Well, there's still a bunch of people here.
-But they can't see us, that's the best part of all, so, what if you come here and we "talk" for a while.
He grabbed my hand helping me get up, and then sat on top of his legs. For some reason I felt the adrenaline running through my veins, like the fear of someone catching us, not that we were going to do anything wrong, but the only ones we know Ash broke up with his girlfriend are Luke and me, and it would be a little problem if someone saw us in that situation, and yesterday we agreed to keep everything a secret, because our breakups are very recent and we also just met. Even ourselves do not know well how we feel, we simply get carried away by our senses and the attraction we feel for each other.
-I still think you're too perfect to be real. - He said looking at me from top to bottom and in an overly sexy voice.
-Shut up, Ashton.
After saying that I went straight to his lips, kissing them with passion and despair. With his hands on my hips he made me stick more to him, earning a sigh of pleasure on my part. His cold hands sneaked under my sweatshirt, making me surprised, but at the same time getting excited. The situation was getting more and more in tune, causing us to get hotter at times.
-Ash we should stop, we are in a plane -I said a sigh as he kissed my neck causing my skin to curl.
-I know, D, but you have the power of turning me on with one glance.
-You think I want to stop? -I said repressing groans that Ashton was trying to provoke me consciously.
-So why are you asking for then?
-Because this is going to get out of hand and it's not exactly what we need. -Ashton parted with his breath agitated and faced with false sorrow.- I promise that when we get to my house, I won't let anything stop us, believe me, I want what you want, only this is not the right time or place.
-I'll remember your promise, lady. -I smiled and after a last kiss I get off of his legs and getting back to my original sit.
I backed out in my place, trying to regain the normal rhythm of my heart and breathing. Ashton's seat wasn't quite attached to mine, there was some kind of barrier separating them, but I could still notice his gaze on me. I turned to look at him and our eyes met, the tenderness and love his eyes gave off made me start smiling like an idiot. Was it possible that Ash had conquered my heart in less than a week?
-You should sleep a little, I know you haven't last night.
-How do you know that? -I asked curious.
-Because I didn't sleep neither, all the thoughts you could have, I had them too.
-Well, thanks to you now I like a little bit more my birthday.
-Is true you only hate it because of your ex?
-He's the minor reason... God, I don't know if I should tell you this... -My hands were trembling just remembering the real reason.- When I was 20 I was dating a guy, I thought he was the love of my live, at the time we were dating for 5 years... It was my birthday, I was going to meet my best friend but before I could went outside my house Dylan appeared there, he was extremely happy, fool of me I thought he will give me good news or something like that... He told me he killed my best friend, so he can't be between us anymore, I thought it was a joke, an stupid and cruel joke, but it was real, he made my best friend disappear and I didn't have a chance to say goodbye.
From Ashton's face I could recognize that I was horrified by what I had just told him, it was something that only five people knew and that I have never liked to tell, because it burns me and it hurts only to think of Dylan.
-God bless, D. All your ex boyfriends are psychopaths?
-Not all of them, Dake was an incredible person, but I was dumb enough to fall in love with the devil and let him heartbroken after he proposed to me.
-Everyone made mistakes.
-Not that type of mistake! I ruined my life because of him...
-That's not true at all, D. You are here with us, you're working in a career as musician and I'm fucking sure the whole world is going to know your name soon.
-You're so sweet. -I said leaving a soft kiss on his lips.- Thank you for believing in me.
-There's nothing to thank for, I told you to many times, you're incredible talented, you're going to reach far.
-You could be by my side, just until I fall asleep, I don't think I'll be able to sleep otherwise.
Without saying anything he got up and came to my side. We both lay down, being in his arms, completely embraced and protected by him. I think he was the only person who could make me feel in peace when my demons attacked me.
(Many hours later...)
I started to hear someone banging on the panel facing the aisle of the plane, causing me to wake up. I carefully woke Up Ashton, who was too adorable sleeping, was like a baby, and told him to look to see who was knocking.
-Hi, guys! -Yelled Mike.
-The fuck are you doing here?
-I'm bored and Crystal is sleeping, and Calum too, and Luke and Sierra I don't know what are they doing but they don't answer.
-Well we were sleeping too, you dork. -Ashton looked upset with Mike.
-Ash is okay. -I said landing a hand in his shoulder.- Mike, take a sit, if you want.
-See Ash? That is what treat people with kindness means, you should learn from D.
-Fuck you, Mike.
-Okay, relax, there's 6 more hours of flight and we all are tired of being here. Ash, if you want to sleep is fine, I'll be talking with Mike for a while.
Ash shrugged and lay down again, leaving his head on my legs. I began to caress his hair fondly while I watched his face relax more and more.
-I'm glad to see that Ashton has gained confidence in you, at first he wasn't very convinced about the idea of collaboration. -Whispered Mike, who was in front of me.
-Don't expose me, Mikey. -Said Ash whispering too.
-Hey, don't be noisy, we are trying to talk. -I laughed and I put a blanket on the black hair man.
-The truth is that I am very happy that we all get along so well in such a short time, I was a little afraid that everything would be uncomfortable or something, after all I know many things about you but you hardly anything about me.
-You shouldn't be afraid of us, I can say that we were more nervous than you when we met, but look, everything is going fine.
-Yeah, I know but is that little strange fair you have when you meet someone who inspires you.
-How are you feeling about going back and sing with... Him? -Mike looked a little insecure about his question.
-Well, I've been mentalizing, things between us aren't what's said right, but it's a relief to know that I'll be with you on stage.
-Is Ashton asleep? -I nodded after getting sure he was actually sleeping.- Do you know if he had any problem with Kaykay? I mean, he is acting so strange and Kay too, she's not replying Crystal's messages, neither Sierra's, and that's not normal.
-I don't know, maybe she's just busy or something, I think that the best is to ask Ash when he wake up. -I didn't want to say the truth, it wasn't my business, and I can't betray Ashton like that when I promised him I won't say anything.
-You're right... Can I say something between me and you?
-Yes, go ahead.
-I think you and Ash make a very good couple, I mean, you're very similar in every way, and even if KayKay is my friend, I think you two together would be perfection made couple.
-Oh my gosh, Mike, that's crazy. -He shrugged with a sincere smile.
-I honestly think that, I don't know, just look at you two right now, you are protecting him with your arms and trying to make him comfortable.
-Don't try to pair me with him when I just met him and he also has a girlfriend. -I said laughing, though I really only thought about everything that's happened between us and nobody knew, and they weren't going to know.
-I'm not trying anything, I'm just saying!
We were finally in Spain, God, I'm starting to hate airplanes. We had already picked up our bags and now we were on our way out, where some of D's friends were supposed to wait for us.
-Are you sure that your friends are here? -I asked tired of walking.
-Yes, they are in the parking, one of them brought me my car, because we all don't fit in only one car.
-What car do you have? -Mike asked excited.
We continued our walk. We were surprised with some fans, but I felt proud when I saw that most of the fans were Denisa's and not ours. We arrived to the parking and suddenly D started to run to a girl, then they hugged and laughed, I have no fucking idea of what are they saying, maybe I might learn Spanish.
-Guys, these are my friends, Lorena and Ainoa, well, she's also my sister. -She looked at the car behind her with a big smile.- And this is my car!
-This car is her most precious possession. -Whispered the shorter girl.- Nice to meet you all.
-Damn, a Range Rover? You don't take things lightly, do you? -Sierra said admiring that huge black car.
-Never in my whole life. Okay, three people will come with me and three in the other car.
We all looked to each other, everyone wanted to go with the brunette girl.
-Let's do something, I'll get in the car with my sister, then, I'll lay on the horn, the ones who get in the car the fastest will be the ones who will go with me, the rest will go with Lore. Understood?
We all nodded and she got into the car. We were waiting patiently when the horn sounded. We all ran to the gates, pushing each other to be able to be the first to enter and therefore go with Denisa.
I was the first one up, which relieved me. It was fun to watch them fight to get in. In the end Crystal and Si were the ones who managed to get in, making a mockery of their respective partners and poor Calum.
-See you later, losers. -Said Sierra closing the car door.
-Please, Lore, try not to kill them in the road, I need them alive. -Denisa joked.
-Fuck you, bitch. See you at home.
The other ones got in their car and D started the engine. We got out of there quickly, like we were making a run with each other, it was pretty fun.
I looked at D, she wore sunglasses and was completely attentive to the road, I was impressed with the perfect shape she had to drive. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think she was terribly sexy driving. She soon turned on the radio, starting to sing, I was drunk on her voice, the sweetness she had and the perfect technique even if she didn't try, she really is one of the most talented people I know.
It took us about twenty minutes to get to our destination. It was a pretty tall and beautiful building, close to the center but away from all the hustle and bustle that was on the main streets. In turns we go up with the elevator to the seventh floor. We entered D's apartment, it was huge and incredible good decorate.
-Wow, this is amazing! -Said Crystal excited.- Oh my God, look the views!
Denisa let out a little laugh and smile.
-Welcome to my house. -Lately a little black cat appeared and started cuddling D.- Hola, Kora, ¿como estás? Yo también te he echado de menos.
Her voice changed a lot while she was talking with the kitten, it was so adorable.
-Your cat is so fucking cute! -Yelled Sierra taking the little animal and caressing him.
-Feel like in your own house, there's the kitchen if you want something, the bathroom is the third door on the left and I don't know... You can do what ever you want.
I took advantage of the other two being distracted to get close to her so I could whisper something to her.
-What ever I want? -I asked with a rogue smile.
-Only if you are careful. -She winked at me and walked away from me to go talk to Crystal, who was looking at the pictures she had hanging on the wall in the shape of a mural.
Soon my other band mates arrived to the house, they were as surprised as me ten minutes ago. D showed them their respective rooms and explained me and Cal how the goddam sofa worked.
-I'm so sorry guys for don't have a room for you. -Apologized Denisa.
-It's okay, don't worry, it's very kind of you to let us stay here.
-Yeah, my only question is: Can we smoke on here? -I asked mocking.
-Of course you can, only if you open the balcony door.
-Oh my God! You have the Playstation 4, the Xbox one and the Nintendo switch! And more than twenty games! -Mike said excited.- D, your house is like a paradise for me. YOU HAVE THE WII? I'm staying here forever.
-Feel free to use it, I don't have actually enough time to use all of that stuff.
-Guys, wanna play Mario Kart? -We all looked at each other and run at the same time to get a control to play.
-God, they are like little kids. -I heard Sierra complaining.
-I'm going to defeat you all. -Said Luke choosing his character.
-You fool, I'm gonna win, as always. -Said Mike getting ready to start.
-Guys, I had an idea. Let's make teams, so we can play too, and one round is for the boys and one for the girls. -Proposed D.
-Nice, come on girls, this is about to start.
-I'm going with Ashton! -Shouted Sierra coming by my side.
-Hey, I'm your boyfriend. -Said Luke indignant.
-I'm sorry, love, but you always lose, you are so bad playing video games.
-Don't worry, Luke, I'll go with you. -Said D sitting behind the blond guy.
Crystal went with Mike and Lorena with Calum. Everything was fine, Mike and I were tied in games won and Luke was last, but it was still the girls to play. I handed the control to Si and standed behind her, once all the girls were ready they started their round.
-Come on, Sierra! You are about to reach the end! -I said cheering on my partner.
-I'm not so sure of that. -D said with a huge smile.
Three seconds later she was the winner. She has won the four fucking rounds.
-Luke, we'd win!
-WHAT? That can't be possible. -Said Mike shocked.
-It is, you and Ash won only three games, I won the four of them, what make us the winners.
-How did you...? You used hacks! -Mike accused her of pointing the index finger at her.
-No I don't! I'm just the queen of the games.
-No, you're not.
-Of course I am.
-Okay, let's decide this like true gamers, you versus me, at mortal kombat, the loser has to tweet saying that the other is the best gamer ever. -Mike said, challenging Denisa.
-Mortal Kombat... Go open Twitter for later.
I didn't know why, but I loved that competitive face she had. I really like to discover little things of her every day.
They started their battle. It was so funny to see them so focused in a game, so I started filming them for my Instagram stories, just like Crystal or Calum.
The game took like 30 minutes, but it ended giving us a winner.
-I told you, I'm the fucking queen of games! I want to see that tweet ASAP.
-How did you do that?! A double combo?! That's impossible!
-Mike you're yelling! -I said yelling too.
-I'm upset, okay?! Mortal Kombat is my game, I don't know how she could win me.
-Gamer since I was born, Mikey, you have nothing to do with me, but it was a pleasure to defeat you.
The boy raised his hands in peace and shook hands with D, then picked up his phone to post the tweet he had promised.
-"@DofDainty is the best gamer ever #QueenD" -D read the tweet Mike posted seconds ago.
-Queen D? Mike, people is going to think you are talking 'bout Princess Diana. -Crystal snarled at him when she heard what the other girl read.
-No they won't, because I tagged D, and who knows, maybe Diana was a great gamer.
-Omg, you're so stupid. -Luke said making a face palm.
My ringing phone woke me up. With a anger of a thousand demons I caught it, but by the time I was going to respond the caller had already hung up. I cursed for myself whoever woke me up and got out of bed. Still half asleep I made a bow and left my room to go to the kitchen, but my surprise came when I met Calum and Ashton still asleep in the living room, I had completely forgotten that they were here...
Careful not to make any noise I went to the kitchen and started making myself a coffee, I never had breakfast more than that, so when I had it ready I sat at the bar and I drank it while I checked my phone. People seemed very excited about what would be my last concert in Spain for a while, I didn't even know why people came to my concerts, just did covers, I didn't have any songs of my own yet.
I was was wasting my time on social media for a while, until ten in the morning, and in that house no one would wake up, I was the only fool who had matured after a twenty-five-and-a-half hour trip. But my loneliness didn't last long, as I was suddenly surprised by arms hugging my waist from behind. I turned to find Ashton's drowsy face smiling in an adorable way.
-Good morning, Ash. -I whispered because Calum was still sleeping.
-Good morning, lady.
-Did I wake you? -I asked worried.
-No, don't worry, I just opened my eyes and I saw a beautiful woman in front of me, so I had to go and meet her.
-You're so stupid. -I said laughing, trying not to make much noise.- Do you want some coffee?
-Can't you be my breakfast? -He asked whispering.
-Ash... Maybe you should tell your mates about Kay.
-Why do you say that?
-Mike asked me about her during the flight, I didn't say anything, but maybe they deserve to know the truth.
-I know, D, but it stills hurt, and it's hard for me to talk about it.
-Belive me, I know how do you feel, it was only an advice, they are going to find out in some point. -After I say that I handed him his coffee.
I heard a noise coming from the living room, when I looked there Calum was sitting on the sofa with a really sleepy face. I smiled at him and he did the same thing, then, while he was putting a shirt on, he came where Ash and I were.
-Good morning, Cal. -I said laughing because he was so sleepy, and it was kinda funny.
-Morning, guys. -He yawned.- Oh my God, I'm so tired.
-I'm sorry if we wake you. -I apologize.
-No, you don't, I smelt coffee and I wanted some.
-Take mine, I don't really want it. -Ashton said giving Cal his mug.
-Thanks, mate. -He took a sip of his coffee and then looked at me.- So, what are we doing today?
-Well, the show is tomorrow, so we have to rehearse, I need you to know the songs.
-The good part of it is that you sing a lot of our songs, so that make things easier.
-Yeah, uhm... No that many, only five, the others are from different artists.
-It won't be a problem, we'll get it fast, I'm sure. -I sight.
-I really hope so, Cal...
I had a bittersweet feeling in my body since this morning, suddenly Ashton was very distant and weird, again he would turn away from all of us and quietly say nothing while the others talked animatedly about everything that was to come in the next few days.
Now we were in Jukebox, it was not the place where I wish I was, especially for its owner, but we had to do the rehearsals there, since I didn't sing alone and the instruments we would use at the concert were also there. At the moment we were alone, only the boys and I, well, Crystal and Sierra were also, but further apart, talking to each other without paying too much attention.
I decided to start rehearsal for songs they didn't know and had to help them, as many of them I used to do on guitar but now we would add drums, bass and more guitars.
-Fuck, I don't know how to do that. -Swears Michael trying something with the guitar.
-You need help with something, Mike? -I asked.
-The drawing in this song is so fucking hard.
-Can I...? -I said pointing his guitar, and he handed it to me.
Once I had the instrument in my hands I started playing the song, it wasn't something difficult for me, I've been playing this for years alone in my bedroom, the only difference now is that I play it in front of a bunch of people.
-God, that was amazing.
-Mike, don't worry about the drawing, do what ever you want, feel free while you are playing. -I said ignoring what he said before.- Okay, guys, let's do a general review, are you ready?
I tried to sing as little as possible because I had to take care of my voice, but I was incredibly proud that they had learned the songs in just one day, these guys have a talent and a taste for what they make, is enviable. When we just went over my last solo song I turned to them with a huge smile on my face and was going to congratulate them on the great work they've done, but someone interrupted us.
-¡Hola! ¿Qué hacéis? -Carlos entered through the door of the rehearsal room, appearing kindness.
-Ensayar. Llegas... -I stopped talking to watch my clock.- Cuatro horas tarde, te has superado a ti mismo.
-Ya, es qué como solíamos ensayar en mi casa se me había olvidado que debía venir. -I looked at him with hate, and inside I was grateful the boys didn't know Spanish.
-Whatever, guys, this is Carlos, let's play the three songs I have to sing with him and let's go the fuck out of here.
-Ey, Ey, Ey, ¿cómo que solo tres canciones? Yo tengo bastantes más. -I looked at him with a cynical smile and laughed.
-Yeah, only three songs, when I get down of that stage, they are coming with me, that was the deal, and I'll never let them play for you.
-Lo primero, ¿podrías hablarme en español? Y lo segundo, ¿y qué se supone que voy a hacer yo si la banda se va?
-First of all, I won't speak in Spanish because I think is disrespectful and they deserve to understand what I'm saying. And about the other thing, when the band is gone your typical DJ is coming to stage to help you, don't worry.
-Te noto un poco áspera, Denisa.
-Que te jodan, Carlos. -My voice came out in anger, I wanted to beat him up at the time.
I looked for a second at the boys, they all were looking at the blond guy I had in front of me very serious, almost threatening, but the most hateful look of all was Ashton's, I could notice from his face that if it were up to him he would tell Carlos everything, but he was controlling himself.
-Let's play the fucking songs and let's go back home.
The blond boy picked up a microphone and got into position, after telling the band from what song we were going to start, they started playing. After an hour and a half we had everything almost perfect. We picked up our stuff and I wanted to run out of there.
-D, relax, I'm here with you. -Ash whispered in my ear when no one noticed.
-Yeah, but where have you been all day? -I whispered to and I went away from him.
I was a little mad with him, his fucking behavior was making me go crazy. I don't understand him at all, he changes every day, I never know how to talk to him because I don't know if he is going to be nice and cute or a complete asshole.
I was about to exit that room, I was starting to get overwhelmed, but live hates me, and someone took me by the arm and made me turn around to look at him, the only person I know who does that was, of course, Carlos.
-¿Qué cojones quieres de mi? -I said pushing my arm away abruptly.
-Solo quiero hablar, por favor... -He begged to me.
-No hay nada de lo que tengamos que hablar, todo está más que claro, haremos este concierto y después no quiero saber más de ti.
-Mira, sé que he sido un gilipollas, pero jamás podré disculparme si no me dejas oportunidad de hacerlo.
-No quiero tus putas disculpas. La palabra gilipollas para describirte se queda corta, aparte de destrozarme la vida rompiste todas las promesas que me hiciste, me rompiste a mi... -I felt me feel weaker as I spoke, my voice trembled, and my eyes soon crystallized.- Te dio igual todo lo que te conté, yo te dí igual. Te conté mis miedos, mis debilidades, tenias mi completa confianza... Fui una imbecil por creer que eras diferente, eres el peor puto error que he cometido en mi vida.
I had to run out of there before I started crying in front of him, I wasn't going to give him the pleasure of seeing me shed any more tears because of him. I got into my car to wait for the guys, the first to get in was Luke, who was looking at me worried.
-What happened there? I saw you talking with him.
-Every time I talk to him I feel my heart break more and more.
-Hey, sweety, everything is gonna be okay, we are here with you, you'll make it through all fo this shit, you are one of the strongest woman I know. -I looked at Luke trying not to drop any tears and with a little smile, he when he saw me smile smiled even more.- Oh, come here.
Suddenly, I was trapped by his arms, he was hugging me while he was shaking me at the same time, making me laugh and feel better. Soon the rest of the crew got into the car, so we took our way home. It was a very hard working day, but I'm very proud of my guys.
Once at my house, I ordered some pizza to dinner. We were all in the living room, I felt really comfortable with them, they made me feel safe.
-Guys, I just wanted to say that you made an incredible work today, I'll never say enough thank you for what you are doing for me. -I said shyly.
-You don't have to thank us for anything. -Said Luke with a cute smile and a sweet voice.
-Of course I have to! I mean, you are the most hard working people I ever met, and you made my life way better in just six days.
-Oh my God, D! You are so humble and sweet. -Sierra said hugging me.
-I just feel so blessed with all is happening, and is all because of you all... I don't know, I just needed to say it.
-Definitely you are so adorable, D, and you can't deny it. -Mike said.
-I'll never admit that. -We all laughed, I love being with that people.
We've been talking for a long time, then the pizzas arrived and there was a little fight between Mike and Calum of who is going to eat the last slice, but Sierra took it first and ate it while the other two guys were looking at her shocked. It was a great night, I couldn't stop laughing.
Now is almost three in the morning, I was so tired, and I really needed to sleep. But my head was so messed up, so I couldn't. I was still mad at Ashton but at the same time I wanted to kiss him when I see him, I was going crazy only of thinking that he's a few meters away from me and I can't have him next to me while I'm sleeping.
As I felt my head was going to explode because of all the mess I had riding there, I heard some gentle knocking on my door. Strange, I got up from my bed and went to open, finding a silhouette I knew perfectly well.
-What are you doing here? -I whispered because everyone was sleeping.
-I need to talk to you.
-I don't wanna talk to you, let me sleep or tomorrow I won't be able to sing.
-Give me just 5 minutes, please. -With suspicion I set myself aside, letting him through and closing the door behind him.
-I'm listening. -I said sitting on my bed.
-I'm stupid, I messed up again with you.
-I agree. -My voice was maybe to cold, but I was pretty upset with him.
-Please, forgive me. I won't be like that anymore, I'll say everything to the guys in the morning and... God, I feel so bad because I made you feel like this.
-Ash, the only thing that upset me is your form of dealing with your problems, you can't just put everyone apart and act like they don't exist. That was making me go crazy.
-I'm sorry, for real, I feel the worst person ever... -I looked at him and denied with my head.
-That's not true, you just... I just... What do you want from me, Ashton?
-I truly don't know, I just know that I'm happy next to you, and you attract me so much... I don't know, D, my head is messed up too...
-Just remember that I'm always by your side, please, don't ever forget that.
Our gazes connected, creating an almost magical bond between us. Suddenly, my anger towards him was gone. I looked at the hair falling into locks down his face, somewhat disheps and illuminated by the dim light coming through the window, as we were with the lights off so as not to raise suspicions. He was slowly getting close to me, his hand around my cheek made me feel protected, and his shinny eyes were looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the earth.
-I know maybe you are scared of being in love after all you been through, but we don't really need to be more than friends, just until we know each other a little better. The only thing I know is that I want you next to me, even if we are only friends, I need you by my side, D.
-You are right, I'm so fucking scared, but we can still enjoy each other without needing to be something specific. I'd hate myself if I hurt you, but right now I don't want anything serious, I know it sounds awful, but all I'm looking for right now is someone to have fun with, because I can't cope with a healthy relationship right now.
When I finished talking, he was extremely close to my face. I could notice a smile and he rested his forehead on mine, felt his breath collide with mine and he closed his eyes for a moment, as he slowly stroked my cheek.
-I only want to feel you're mine just for a night, me and you, I won't complain if is only one night, one ephemeral moment. I want you, D, I don't care if is it as a friend or whatever, I just need you.
His hoarse and at the same time whispered voice made my skin curl. After a few seconds of emptying between the two of us, where sexual tension only grew for seconds, he finally made our lips join in a kiss that almost gave me life. Slowly he lay me down in bed, leaving him upon me, but without getting to crush me. Our lips did not slod, but this time there was no despair in that kiss, as in the others, it was something different. His hands caressed me with a kindness and a affection that made me want to melt in his arms, everything was going very slow, but I loved that for once it was not all passion and debauchery, and that we could really enjoy each other without haste or something like that.
Slowly he separated from my lips, kissing my jaw and slowly lowering to my neck, where he left wet kisses that made me shudder. His hands, this time warm, got under my thin pajama T-shirt, stroking the burning skin on my stomach. For a moment he stopped, and looked up to look at me.
-Are you sure you want this? -I thought it was terribly lovely that he asked me that, the only time anyone had ever asked me something like that was on my first time.
-Of course I want this, Ash.
I grabbed his face in my hands to kiss him again. This time I was the one who put his hands under his tank top, lifting it slowly until I took it off. My hands were rising from his underbelly Up to his neck, stroking him all the way, My hands got lost in his hair doing it back to my lips. Even without being able to see him, he could feel his smile on every kiss. For some reason, I felt really comfortable and at peace at the time, it was all so beautiful, so perfect...
He parted from me again, this time going down to the bottom of my torso. Gradually he went up my T-shirt, leaving little kisses around my belly button.
-Please, can you turn on a light? I wish I could be able to see you. -Without saying anything, I light the lamp That I was on my bedside table.
That's when I realized how sexy he was. His head was resting on my stomach and he looked at me with admiration and desire. It was so erotic to see him there between my legs and half-naked... I could feel my body temperature rise dramatically as I could see him and not just his silhouette.
He again handed out kisses over my body, uncovering in his work the tattoos that my clothes hid. He examined them one by one, kissing each of them. I had eight drawings on my skin, not all with an extremely important meaning, but their equal position was a little... Private. I still don't understand how I dared to do them to myself.
Ashton finally took my shirt off. He watched me carefully, admiringly. I saw him bite his lower lip, a gesture that seems so fucking sexy to me. I felt me blushing because of his attentive gaze on me.
-I swear you are so fucking incredible, D.
From that moment things started to go faster, our kisses became more passionate, without giving us just time to breathe. His fingers started playing with the edge of my pajama pants, making me die of desire for him to make me his own. Occasionally he would create small frictions between us, which made me excited, And let go of little moans of pleasure.
I took the initiative of the situation, taking away his tracksuit pants. I bit my lip when I saw the distinctly noticeable lump of his boxers. When I made that move, it took him a few seconds to do the same to me. The situation soon eded, making our underwear disappear. Your fingers started playing with my sensitive area, God, that felt so good! To avoid making noise, he silenced my moans with kisses.
After reaching my first orgasm, he soon entered me. We both drowned a groan in each other's mouths. His movements started slowly but they picked up a faster pace as pleasure grew between us, it was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life, it would give anything to be repeated every night. The war of kisses and groans continued for a while, until a wave of pleasure that swept me from head to toe came to me, making my back curve and I felt faint. Within a few seconds the black-haired boy ended up too. He lay down beside me, while We were both trying to regain the normal rhythm of our breathing. We both took our underwear and put it on, then snuggled up in bed, saying nothing, just enjoying each other's company.
-Thank you for... For everything... -Whispered Ash. I looked at him noticing that he was staring at me too.
-Ash, I didn't do this to do you a favor or something like that, I really wanted this, and it was incredible. -I left a soft kiss in his lips and he smiled.
-I'm scared about my feelings and thoughts...
-Why? -I asked confused.
-Because I don't understand them, D. Is like never feel this before and at the same time it's familiar to me. Is annoying to feel so confused.
-Hey, Ash, is completely normal, we're been through a lot lately and is normal to feel confused and lost, we only need time, but as we said before, we can still have each other in this way. -My were caring his chest while talking, trying to relax him.
-Is it wrong if I tell you that I love ya?
-Even though I'd never do it when I'm sober, Is it wrong? So wrong. -I sang after he said that. He looked at me like: r u serious? And we laughed.- I'm sorry, but you said the lyrics of Moving Along and I had to sang them.
-Now I really love you. -He said laughing.
-I love you too, Ashy. -I said and I kissed him.
We spent that night together, just me and him, only two souls healing each other's, simply us.
(The next morning...)
It was near to eleven in the morning. I woke up near Denisa, and it was one of the most beautiful feeling ever. Seeing her messy her all round her face and the peace she reflected... It was just a work of art.
-Good morning, Ash. -I heard a whisper coming from my side.
-Morning, D. Did you sleep well?
-With you by my side? Of course I did.
Suddenly something came to my making me feel a little worried.
-Calum will ask why I didn't sleep in the living.
-Oh, fuck... Okay, if he asks, let me speak, don't say a word.
-Fine, I get it.
-Cool, lets go to the kitchen, I really need a coffee.
I looked at her while she was getting up, she was only wearing my tank and her underwear, she was incredible, but maybe is not the best way to go out of the room.
-D, I think that maybe, only maybe, you should dress up a little bit.
-Yeah, you're right, I'm used to be only with Lore at home, and I don't mind if she sees me like this. -Explained her while putting on her short pj's.- I'm ready, come on, Ashy.
I laughed and I stand up of the bed. I really love the way she calls me.
We went to the kitchen together, meeting there Luke, Sierra and Calum. Nice. Cal looked at me lifting a eyebrow, with suspicion.
-Morning! Are you ready for tonight? -D said making her coffee, like nothing happened.
-Of course we are! I can't wait to hear you singing, you barely did it yesterday. -Complained Luke.
-Is not funny if you already know what I'm going to do. -She said sitting next to him in the kitchen bar.
-Aren't you going to say why you two slept together? -D and I connected gazes, now I must shut up and let her talk.
-Last night... Last night I had a really bad mental breakdown, I was feeling the worst, but I didn't tell no one because I didn't want you to worry. But Ash cough me here after taking a glass of water, he saw me crying and then he refused to leave me alone, so after a little argue I let him be with me the rest of the night. That's all.
-God, D! Are you okay now? You need something? -Si asked hugging her.
-Yes, now I'm just fine, it was just a moment.
-Are you sure? -I loved Sierra and D's friendship, in just a week they care a lot for each other and are like the crazy couple of the group.
-I promise I'm okay, I give you my word. If I feel like that anytime I'll tell you.
-Okay, I belive you, but don't hide this things from us, we are here for you.
After that the conversation turn normal, with our typical jokes and laughs. Everything was fine until Mike and Crystal came, not because I was angry with them or something, but I promised D that I was going to tell the truth about Kaitlyn and I today, and once we all are awake is time to do it.
-Guys, I need to tell you something and is something pretty serious. -Without no one notice, I took D's hand from behind the table.
-What do you wanna tell us? Don't worry us. -Mike said eating from his toast.
-Well... I think all of you have noticed that I was a little in a bad mood lately and acting strange and stuff like that. The reason is that Kay left home almost two weeks ago, she said she needed time and she took her things and left without even say goodbye... Ya'll know I love her so much, but we were having a lots of problems in the last months. I'm sorry for don't telling you this before, but I was and I'm still hurt and is hard for me to say this, but KayKay and I are no longer together...
-Oh, Ash... I'm so sorry buddy. -Calum said hugging me. In less than three seconds they all were hugging me too.
-That's why Kay wasn't replying my messages! -Exclaimed Sierra indignant.
-Yes, Kay is the opposite of D's ex, she didn't call me even once, she didn't text me, I don't even know where she is.
-Why do you have to compare Kay with Carlos? -Reproached D punching my shoulder softly.
-To show what a healthy break-up means.
-Yeah, yours is super healthy, you're right.
-Okay, kids, let's calm down. Today is a great day and we all must have good vibes. -I looked at Mike trying not to laugh.
-Bro, what type of flower power cigarette did you smoke? -I asked.
-I'm just excited for today, I can't wait to see D on stage and no through a YouTube video.
-You are so cute, Mikey. I can't wait to be on stage with you, guys, is gonna be amazing. -Somehow the happiness in Denisa made me feel complete.
It was finally time for the show. We were going to stage in less than ten minutes. I was in my dressing room with the boys, making the fool as usual, we were all dressed and ready to go, but there was no sign of D. I decided to go to her dressing room to see what she was doing, and in passing wish her luck in a special way. Once there I knocked on the door twice, when I got no answer I opened the door, but instantly I regretted it. Inside the room were Carlos and Denisa, very close to each other and apparently they were having a serious conversation. I could appreciate how the boy's hands were at her waist, I looked at her face, her eyes were crystallized, and I have no idea what they're talking about, but it seems like a delicate subject. And then it happened, he kissed her. I felt my world paralyze for a second. At first she seemed surprised by the boy's action, but soon returned to herself, separating herself from him, then her gaze was nailed to the door, where I was. Horror and fear reflected on her face. It was at that moment, when our eyes crossed, that I felt anger and left before creating a situation that no one wanted to see.
I walked away from that dressing room as fast as I could, but I soon heard the heel noise following me and some requests for me to stop walking. Without much care I went my way, I just needed to relax. But that didn't seem possible, as a hand held me by the wrist, making me turn to look her in the face.
-What? -I said dry, looking at her as seriously as I could.
-Please, let me explain. Ash, that was not whatever you are thinking right now. -She looked so nervous.
-I saw all, D. You don't have to explain anything, now, let me go. -I said pulling my arm, since she kept holding it.
-In that case you know that I didn't kiss him because I want it.
-Yeah, I know. Can you leave me alone now?
-Stop being so rude, okay? That was all a mistake, like everything what ever happened with him. Why are you so mad at this? We are nothing!
-That's the fucking problem! We are nothing. You can be mine one night and the next day you can be with other person just because we are nothing.
-Do you really think I'm that type of girl? God, Ashton, even if we aren't dating I won't going to be with another person. Is incredible that you can think something like that...
-And what's the point in all of this? We only hook up and then we act like nothing happened hoping not to get cough by no one? I refuse that.
-I told you last night, I didn't want nothing serious, I just want someone to have fun with. You agreed to that, you said you didn't care if it was only once. Last night was something we two needed, but that's it! I'm sorry, Ashton, but I'm sick of your fucking attitude.
After saying this she walked away from me. In that moment I realized how hard I fucked up this time. I'm such an asshole...
It was time for the show. We went out of our dressing room meeting D in the backstage. She was fucking incredible. Black heel boots on, wide snake print trousers, a black top and a leather jacket, all complemented by perfect makeup. This girl knows how to dress to impress.
-Guys, you look amazing. -She said when we arrived.
-You too, what a fucking queen. -I said spinning her.
-Thank you. -She said with a kind smile.- Well, we are going out in a minute, everything I have to say is have fun and please don't mind whatever is going to happen once in stage.
-Why do you say that? -Mike asked confused.
-I become another person when I perform, so just don't mind it.
Soon after, a person from the local stuff came to let us know that we had to went out now. Calum, Mike and I took our instruments and set out to get on stage, but I kept waiting for Ash, who seemed to be talking to D, but she seemed angry or something. The boy came to my side and we both went up.
-Is everything okay? -I asked before he went to the drum kit.
-Yeah, don't worry.
He went to his place and I finished adjusting my stuff, it was going to be weird just playing and not singing, but so I'd have more freedom on stage. All the lights went out, which was our warning to start playing Easier's intro. The spotlights started flashing and Denisa seemed in the middle of the stage. She started singing, with a perfect technique and voice, her ease on stage surprised me, she really looked like someone else at the time. I noticed that I was singing with a little rage, making sense of every phrase she said. In one of the choirs she turned to Ashton, it looked like she was singing it to him, but then she came next to each other and was there singing and giving it her all. After Easier she sang Temporary Bliss, from The Cab, seeing her on stage like that was something incredible, she made every song hers, they didn't seem like a cover because she gave them her own meaning.
-¡¿Cómo estamos, Madrid?! -She screamed after the second song. Hopefully, we all had someone translating everything D was going to say in Spanish.
The crowd went crazy after her question, she laughed.
-¡Antes que nada quiero pedir un gran aplauso para 5 Seconds of Summer, que han venido hoy a acompañarnos! -I was impressed of how 500 people seemed like 2000.- También quería agradecer a todas las personas que están aquí hoy, significa muchísimo para mí. -She waited for ten seconds for the crowd to calm down a little, so she can continue talking.- Y seguramente bastantes de vosotros y vosotras ya lo sepáis, pero este es mi último concierto por un tiempo, ¡así que quiero que lo disfrutéis lo más grande!
After that last sentence, she beckoned us to start playing again, this time the lights of the spotlight turned red, the drums were heavier and our guitars deeper, with the bass lane Calum created for this song. If before I was surprised by the way she performed, now I was fucking hypnotized by every move she made and her voice, definitely I see red was D's, God dammit, she was so fucking hot signing this. I was able to see Sierra and Crystal in the front, they were as wordless as me. What a fucking artist.
After that we slowed a little to play You broke me first. The way her voice broke during the first chorus but then became stronger in the second one empressed all of us. We played three more songs before a little break.
-Os voy a explicar un poco el porqué de que este sea mi último concierto por un tiempo, ya que he visto algunas caras de pena por ahí. A mi también me da pena, la verdad, pero es por una buena causa. Me voy a ir una temporada a Los Ángeles, ¡para poder grabar por fin mi disco! -The audience's screams were louder than ever, they all started to chant: Disco, disco, disco!- Hay más sorpresas por ahí escondidas, pero aún no puedo decir nada, así que estad muy pero que muy atentos a mis redes porque por ahí lo iré diciendo todo, y también estad atentos a las de los chicos, solo por si acaso.... -Again screams from everywhere, making D laugh once more.- Bueno, creo que ya va siendo hora de cantar algo en español, ¿no? ¿Cuantos de aquí conocen a Delaporte?
Everyone gone crazy again, and then we started playing. It was funny, because the only word that I understud was "Fuck", but D's energy and vibes where enough, I don't need to know what the lyrics say to enjoy what I was doing and seeing. After that went one more song in Spanish, again that hot and sexy essence came to her, with an whispered voice and impressive movements.
We played human, let me down slowly, Slave to the rhythm and Stupid love then was the time for Lie to me, I saw Sierra crying while D was singing, I have to recognize that the atmosphere went incredibly sad in that moment, Denisa was sharing all her feelings with everyone who was there, and that's something incredible to do. After that was the turn for Ghost of you. Everything was fine, until her voice broke and she stopped singing for a second, then she continued but I was able to see a tear running through her face. When the song ended she looked to the sky and smiled.
-Vale, creo que después de este pequeño momento triste ya es hora de recibir a ¡Carlos Marco! -She said pointing the place where the boy came. I looked at her, she was smiling, but I knew it was a fake smile.
After a few minutes of chatting with the fans they started with the songs. First of all Teeth. I was analyzing every move and phrase they said, without taking attention away from the guitar and what I was playing, that's when I realized that they were actually singing the song to each other, each verse had a sense for them, and each sang a very specific one. At the end teeth came the turn of I hate you, I love you. If I was clear before that they were singing to each other, now I had no doubt. There was a time when I think both we and the public, like Carlos himself, were surprised, when D sang: You said you wouldn't and you fucking did! Denisa practically yelled at her companion, with a lot of rage, as if it were really something he promised her and did not fulfill. Finally they sang I know what you did last summer and the concert on our part and Denisa's is over. We said goodbye to the audience and got off the stage with the people chanting her name and ours.
-You were fucking amazing out there, where has been that D all of this time? -Yelled Mike once in the backstage.
-She only shows up on stage. But leaving the subject, you guys did it freacking incredible! Thank you so much for being with me today, it means a lot to me, your support out there made me able to sing and enjoy what I was doing, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. -Her eyes were tearing while she was talking.
-Don't you dare cry, you little girl. -I said and I hugged her, soon Mike and Cal joined too, but Ash stayed apart from us.
-Sorry, I didn't mean to cry, I'm just I little emotional.
-We are too, so don't make us cry, Didi. -Calum said while cleaning a tear from her cheek.
-No, I won't, look, I'm not crying anymore, let's go to the dressing rooms and then we go back home to celebrate.
-I think is a great idea, come on, fellas. -I said and all started following me, but I saw how Carlos took D a side to talk with her before she could even take a step.
I was changing up my clothes, because I was sweaty as fuck, when suddenly I started to hear a conversation very loud.
-Suelta mi puto brazo. -I said pulling my arm apart.
-No hasta que me digas como te has atrevido a gritarme delante de todo el mundo.
-¡Lo siento! ¿Vale? -I yelled.- Me dejé llevar, no es mi culpa no poder ocultar mi odio hacia ti.
-¿Ahora me odias? -He asked in a mocking tone.- Hace apenas dos semanas no parabas de repetir lo mucho que me querías y que no querías que me alejara de ti nunca.
-¡Eso fue antes de descubrir que había mandado mi vida entera a la mierda por un puto mentiroso! -I was freaking out, I wanted to punch him as harder I could.- Confié en ti una y otra vez, pero me has traicionado cuando más te necesitaba... ¡Y lo que ahora no puedo aceptar es que vengas a hablarme con superioridad y como si todo fuera culpa mía, Joder!
-¡¿Y cómo cojones quieres que te hable si cada vez que me acerco a ti me apartas?! Ni siquiera me has dejado disculparme.
-¿Disculparte? ¿Te piensas de verdad que te voy a perdonar cuando me has estado engañando con alguien desde el primer momento que empezamos a salir?
-Denisa, yo... - I interrupt him.
-¿Que me vas a decir? ¿Que no era tu intención ponerme los cuernos con Paula? No me hace falta oírlo. -In that moment I realized that I was actually crying, but it was mor for the anger than for the sadness.
-¡No sabía qué hacer! La cague desde el principio y luego ya no sabía cómo arreglarlo.
-Sí, y era más fácil salir seis meses conmigo y pretender que no te pillara... Supe que esto pasaría desde el principio, pero como una estúpida confié en ti ciegamente...
-Si lo sabías ¿entonces porque aceptaste salir conmigo?
-¡Porque estaba enamorada de ti como una gilipollas! -I screamed and then everything was quiet.
We were staring at each other for some seconds, till I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Luke.
-His mic is on... -He whispered in my ear.
-WHAT?! -I freeze in that moment, that couldn't be real.
-¿Que pasa? ¿Que te ha dicho? -Carlos asked worried.
-¡Tu puto micrófono está encendido!
He looked at his hands and went pale, everyone had listened our argue, everyone out there now know the truth. God, this can't be real. I felt all my strength go and I had the feeling that I would fall into any moment.
-Is she okay? -I heard a voice, but I couldn't move.
-God, D, please, say something. -I don't know how much time I was there paralyzed, but suddenly I saw he's eyes right in to mine and I kinda came back to real life.
-I need to get out of here. -I said in a whisper.
I ran out of there, I could barely breathe, but didn't care, I was having the worst panic attack I ever had. When I got outside there were a bunch of fans and paparazzis waiting for me, I look at them for a second, million of questions where around of me, but I didn't say anything and I ran to my car. I start the engine and I drive to my house.
Once there I looked my self up in my room. My phone was about to explode because of everyone who was posting things about me. I was fucking terrified of open my social media, so I just left my phone on my bed and I started to figure all the problems this was going to bring me. Stupid bastard, you were singer for more than nine years and you still don't dare to turn off the microphone once you get out of stage. I started to go crazy, I was walking in circles all around my room and trying to discover a way to resolve this mess.
-D, please, tell us you are there. -I heard a voice behind my door, I recognize Luke's voice.
-Please, leave me alone.
-Deni, por amor de dios, abre la puerta, por favor. -This time the voice came from my best friend.
After some minutes of they trying to convince me to open the door, I finally did it. They all were looking extremely worried. Instantly Luke hugged me, Protecting myself with his whole body and trying to calm me down anyway. I didn't understand why Luke cared so much, it was weird, but at the same time I loved having a friend like him. After a little while I separated from him and sat in bed again, a little calmer but even with my heart beating very fast, I couldn't help but have the anxiety attack, I had tried all the methods of meditation and relaxation I knew, but none of them worked.
-I'm fucking terrified. -I talked for the first time, my voice was trembling and my whole body shaking.
-Everything is gonna be fine, okay? Nothing is gonna happen. -Luke whispered crouching in front of me.
-Of course is gonna happen, it always happen when is about him! I bet now I'm trending topic on Twitter or something like that. -I looked at Crystal, she was with her phone.
-You are trending, also a video taken from the crowd of the show where you can hear your whole conversation with Carlos...
-See?! It's only been half an hour since it happened and it's already trending worldwide!
-Okay, you need to calm down, you're going to have a heart attack if you don't relax. -Calum said sitting next to me.
-How I'm supposed to calm down when now almost everyone is going to find out that I dated Carlos and most of all, that he cheated on me?
-Fine, we are going to do something. Is late, you need to rest, tomorrow we'll see what happened during the night, but now you need to sleep and relax. -Luke's way of speaking was almost an order, he seemed very worried and at the same time he was very serious.
-You're right, I'll go to sleep, I need to stop thinking about all this mess.
-I'll stay with you. -I heard Ashton's voice coming from my back.
-What? Get the fuck out of my room. -I was still mad at him.
-I won't, I can't leave you alone in this situation.
-I said I want you out of my room. -Everyone was looking at us shocked, they didn't know what to do or say.
-And I said I won't do that, D. I know I fucked up before and you are mad at me, but I don't care, I won't let you deal alone with everything, because I know you and I know you won't sleep in the whole night if we leave you alone.
-You know nothing about me. You got mad at first because of something you know it wasn't my fault, now don't complain because I'm mad at you.
-And how you want me to react when I saw you kissing your fucking ex?
-¿¡Que?! -Yelled Lore.
-I didn't kiss him! You saw it, he kissed me and I push him away from me as fast I could, you had no reason to get mad at me when you literally saw everything.
-I know, okay?! I was just... I thought in all he did to you and seeing him kissing you made me feel angry. I'm sorry, D, I didn't want to say what I said, everything was clear since the beginning and I messed up as always. -I knew he wasn't talking just of the kiss, he was talking about the whole discussion we had.
I was silent, striving not to shed any tears, in that room you could breathe the tension. I looked at everyone else, the confusion was something reflected in everyone's face, a normal thing given that the sudden fight with Ashton was something no one expected. I let go of a sigh and addressed everyone:
-I'm sorry, guys, you shouldn't listen to any of this, maybe is time for all of us to go to sleep, tomorrow I'll be fine, I promise.
-If you need anything, you know you can trust me. -Luke said after another hug.
-Don't worry, Luke, I'll be okay, I just need to rest a little. -I said with a small smile and I kissed his cheek, then Sierra came and hugged me too, after that, they left to their room.
Everyone said goodbye equally with a hug, then left. Ashton was about to walk out the door, but before he could do it, I grabbed him by the arm making him stop and look at me strangely.
-We have to talk. -I said dry.
-I've always hated that words. -He came in again and I closed the door behind him.
I sat in bed spending my hands in my hair thinking about how to say everything in my head at the time. I didn't know how I felt, I didn't know what I wanted, and I didn't know if what I was about to do was the right thing or I was making a big mistake.
-What do you wanna talk about? -Ash asked as I didn't say anything for a while.
-This can't go on, Ash.
-This? Our fights? I'm sorry D, I don't know what happened to me before, I freaked out, I was an asshole. -I didn't let him finish.
-No, I'm not talking about our fights... I'm talking about us, Ash, whatever is going on between us. -I felt my eyes full of tears while talking, I couldn't even look at his face.
-What do you mean, D?
-We can't see each other anymore, no like we were doing the last days... I'm sorry, Ash, but we are hurting ourselves with this, none of us is ready to be in another relationship and this kind of friendship with law we have is not what we need right now, we can't heal from the past if we keep messing up with our heads...
-That's not true, D, and you know it. We can handle this, we can heal together, you are helping me, just let me help you. Please... -I could sense little sobs coming from him. I looked up so I could see him and felt my heart break when I saw his face covered in tears, because of me.- I just can't lose you too, I... I'm... -He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.- I love you, D. I knew I had feelings for you since that morning when you discovered your guitar was broken, and I know it's weird, and maybe you don't feel like this about me, but I don't know how to change my feelings, I tried to, but after what happened yesterday I know that I want you next to me...
He fell silent and looked down to the ground, hiding the unstoppable tears coming out of his eyes. He was crouching right in front of me, so he could be face to face. I carefully put my hand on his chin, raising his face until our weeping eyes reconnected, I wiped some of his tears with my thumb, slowly stroking his cheek.
-Ash... I love you too, but I'm afraid of not being good enough for you, I can't face the idea that I can hurt you and I don't want that.
-You won't hurt me, I know, you're not like that, you care about who you love. Please, I just want a chance, to prove you that we can be happy together.
I stared at him in the eye, trying to sort the thoughts of my head. The idea of dating him terrified me at the same time that I loved it. I thought about how I felt when I was with him, that tranquility, the protection, that feeling of warmth in my heart every time I looked him in the eye... Ash is one of the best people I've ever met and I know I can trust him, but to such an extent? Maybe I can give him a chance, something tells me he can do well.
-Stand up, please. -I whispered. He did it and I do it too, once in front of him I took his hands, he was trembling.- I'll give us that chance of being happy together...
-Seriously? -A big smile appeared on his face when he heard me say that.
I nodded in response, with a shy smile. Then he, without me waiting for him, grabbed my face in his hands by sticking his lips to mine, my hands surrounded his neck, I could feel his happiness in every kiss and he conveyed to me everything he felt with them. I felt in a cloud.
Ash parted from my lips and rested his forehead mine, I couldn't stop smiling, I was really happy with what had just happened, but there was something I needed.
-I have only one condition. -I said biting his bottom lip.
-Whatever you want. -He said between kisses.
-Can we keep this as a secret? From everyone, just for a while...
-Sure, we'll tell them wherever you are ready.
-Thank you. -I said and I kissed him again. I couldn't hide my smile, it was like the best feeling ever.
-Wanna cuddle until you fall asleep? I know you are tired and after everything you were through today, you really need to rest.
-I'll love that. -I said and I hugged him.
-Fine, I'll go to take my pj's and I'll come back here. -I nodded and he kissed me softly.
I started to change my clothes to when Ashton left the room. I felt like a 15 years old teenager with her hormones right in the sky, like, I mean, I'm dating my fucking idol. Well, is the second time that happens to me, the first time went really wrong, now I wish everything go well with Ash.
One time I had my pajamas on, I braided my hair, then started to remove makeup. Soon after I hear the door open and close, feeling seconds later as some arms surrounded my waist from behind. I looked at Ash through the reflection of the mirror and smiled at him, I could see how something on my back caught his eye and pulled my hair away a little so he could see it well.
-This is beautiful... -He said stroking my back with his fingertips, causing me to shiver. I had a tattoo that occupied practically my entire back, but still, no one saw since it was always covered by my clothes or my hair.- The lunar phases. Have I ever told you you're a work of art?
-I'm not that special, Ash.
-For me you are. -He said and kissed me on the cheek tenderly.- Can I ask you a question?
-Of course, go ahead. -I nodded.
-Why do you hide your tattoos? I think they're gorgeous.
-Well... I've been doing that since I got the first one, is the one on my right side. I've always thought that if I tattooed something it would be because it's important to me and my tattoos are very personal, so I decided that only I would see them and if anyone else could see them it was because I wanted that. I know it's weird, but it makes sense to me.
-Every day I admire more your way of looking at things, you're exciting.
I turned around to come face to face with him And I put my arms around his neck. I kissed him softly, then hid my face on his neck melting into a hug. I really needed that hug and feeling someone by my side when I needed it most.
-I love you... -He whispered in my ear, making my heart melt. God, he was so cute!
-I love you. -I said in the same way.
I was in the kitchen having breakfast. The night with Ash was super nice and super quiet, we were talking about us and getting to know each other a little more. Now I was looking for a flat in Los Angeles where living during the season that was going to spend there, I was looking near the area where everyone lived, so as not to be far from them, but the prices were extremely high, I couldn't afford that for almost nine months, which is how long I was going to be there before the tour started.
I continued my search for a while, I really needed a place to live, although I know that at least one of them will offer to live in their house when they find out what I'm doing, but I can't abuse their trust so much. Yes, I've let them stay at my house, but it's been four days, not nine months.
I heard some noises coming from behind me, which indicated to me that Calum had woken up. And I was right, soon the boy sat next to me on one of the empty stools.
-Good morning, Cal. Did you sleep well? -I asked without taking my attention from my computer.
-Yes, that thing is actually confortable. -I giggled and he did too.- What are you doing?
-I'm looking for a place in L.A, I'm going to spend almost nine months there, so I need a place to stay meanwhile.
-Oh, is true, tomorrow we have the plane back home, I forgot it completely.
-Yeah, so here I am, I've been looking for like and hour and a half now. I wasn't able to sleep, too many things going through my head... -I looked at Calum for a second and I knew he wanted to say something but he was ashamed of.- Ask whatever you are wondering.
-Is everything okay between you and Ash?
-Oh, yes! Yesterday after you all were gone I talked him and we makeup everything, so now we are fine, don't worry.
-I'm glad, I've never seen Ash so remorseful... I know he's not going through his best and you are helping him so much.
-Well, he's helping me too, in fact, y'all are helping me a lot, I don't know if I would be able to smile if you weren't come to my life.
-You know you have us for whatever you need, you're part of the family now. -I smiled, he too and then I heard a door open and suddenly Ashton appeared in the kitchen.
He smiled at first when he saw me, but then he saw Calum and the smile went smaller.
-Good morning, Ashy! - I said at the same time that he would pass by me, putting his hand in disguise at my waist, and then go sit next to Calum.
-Morning. -He yawned and stretched a little.
-I made a lot of coffee, guys, take some if you want. -I said entering another website because I didn't find anything in the actual one.
-Ooh, coffee, that's why I got up, I love your coffee. -He stand up and run to the coffee machine, taking a big cup. Meanwhile, Ashton took Calum's sit and I felt his gaze on my computer.
-What are you doing...? -He asked slowly. He was so strange of what he was seeing.
-I'm looking for a place in LA, what's wrong? -I put my hand on his leg, Caressing it with slow moves.
-I wanted you to stay with me... I hoped that... -He seemed a little disappointed.
-Ash... I don't want to be a nuisance, I'm afraid that's going to spoil everything... -I whispered because I didn't want Cal to listen.
-You won't be, and everything is gonna be fine! You'll have your space and I don't know...
-Ash asked you to live with him? He's a great house mate though, I lived with him for a while and it was pretty fine. -Calum said sitting down again.
-I don't know... Are you sure you want someone living with you?
-I don't want someone living with me, I want you living with me -Cal looked at him strange, Ashton realized that.- As a way to thank to you for your help.
-Fine, I'll stay with you, thank you so much, Ashton. -I said and I hugged him, in that moment I wished I would be able to kiss him, but was my decision to keep it secret, so it'll be like that.
-Ooh, how much love on here, I want a hug too! -Suddenly Luke came to the kitchen.
-Of course, honey. -I said in a mocking tone and got up from my stool and gave a big hug to the blonde who had just woken up.
-What about me? -Sierra was right behind Luke.
-Come here, baby. -I said opening my arms and she came to me quickly. I really appreciate Si, she was amazing and I loved her so much, even if I met her recently.
-Are you looking for a place to stay? -Luke asked while I was still hugging his girlfriend, as I turned to look at him, I found him sitting in my chair and looking at the computer screen.
-I was, but I'm staying with Ashton.
-What? I wanted you to stay with us! -Yelled Si.
-Well, I can stay a while with him and then move with you, if Luke agree with that. -In that moment Ashton looked at me like he didn't agree with what I was saying.
-For me is fine, it'll be funny to have some else at home.
-Cool, thank you so much for letting me stay with you.
(Some days later...)
I was finally in Los Angeles, living with Ashton as we talked. I loved his house, it was like a paradise for me, I spent my days at his music room, writing and making music. He spent much of his time out working with his mates, but he always used to come back at lunchtime. Today was his birthday, so I decided to make him a little date to celebrate it on our own, since at night some people would come and we will have a little party. Thanks to the boys I knew what his favorite food was, so I prepared it for him, then I dressed a little fancy and created a little atmosphere in the dining room to give it a more pleasant and romantic look. I was pretty nervous, in fact. It will be our first real date, and I really hope he'll like it.
I heard his car coming, so I got up and went in front of the door to wait for him to come in. When he finally did, I ran to hug him, as this morning I hadn't had time to see him because he left very early.
-Wow, you look gorgeous. -He said looking at me from head to toe.
-Happy birthday, babe. -I said and I kissed him softly. His hands got around my waist and he looked at me in a way that I loved.
-Thank you, I love you, D.
-I love you too. -I said kissing him again.- How was your day?
-A little hard, but amazing. -He seemed to realice something.- It smells amazing, what did you do?
-Well... I was thinking and I realized that we never had a real date and... And I wanted to make something special for you... -I said. I was a little nervous and he noticed that.
-I'll never be tried of saying how amazing you are and how much I love you. -He said and took my face between his hands, kissing me once more. God, I can't believe I really felt for him in this way.
After a short chat we went to the dinning room and we were eating and enjoying each other company. I've really missed to be alone with him and be able to talk about everything, I was kinda tired of hiding our relationship. After having lunch, we both went to the living room, we were cuddle in the sofa. I wish I was able to explain how good he made me feel.
-Thank you for this, it was incredible. -He said kissing my forehead.
-You liked the food? I had no clue of how to make it and I was afraid of making a disaster...
-D, everything was perfect, I loved all, and most of all, I love you. -I smiled at that.- You are making this the best birthday ever.
-Maybe I can make it even better... -I said getting on top of his legs.
-Oh, I want to see that.
He grabbed my face back in his hands to kiss me. Perfection in the connection of our lips still surprised me, everything that could make me feel with a single caress was impressive. His hands came down to my thighs, for which they began to rise gradually getting into my dress. With his hands on my hips he made me create small frictions between us that made me release sounds of pleasure between kisses. Carefully he unbuttoned my dress and then removed it. I had been a bit naughty and put on an underwear that, apart from beautiful, was quite provocative. I could tell the heat growing in Ashton when he saw me and I loved it.
-How can you be so fucking gorgeous? You are unbelievable, you have me completely down for you.
-God, I love you so much. -I kissed him again, with a big smile in my face.
I slowly took off his shirt and started handing out kisses over his neck and chest, as my hands went down to his pants, which I unbuttoned and with his help I took them off. The kissing battle continued for a while, until I parted a moment from him.
-Babe, do you want the others to know about us? -A bright smile appeared on his face.
-Are you serious? -I nodded smiling too.- You are making me the most happy guy in earth.
After that we decided to go to his room to finish what we had started in the living room.
It was eight o'clock in the afternoon. Luke, Sierra, Mike, Crystal and Calum were already here, apparently, in the end they were just coming. We decided to do like a relaxing night, watching movies, ordering pizza, playing games like truth or dare and things like that, the truth is that we all needed a little peace of mind.
-Okay, I've ordered the pizzas, they are on its way. -I said going from the kitchen to the living room.
-Cool, I'm starving! -Mike said.
-And when you aren't? -He responded crystal by making us laugh.
-Wanna start with truth or dare? -Sierra asked changing the subject.
-Yes, I have some nice dares in mind. -Luke said sitting down on the carpet.
We all imitated his action and sat in a circle, I took my place next to Ash and Sierra. I was hoping someone would challenge me to kiss Ashton or something, so we wouldn't have to say it directly, but they'd see it.
-Okay, who's starting? -Calum asked.
-You, because you asked. -I said laughing.
-Fine, D, truth or dare?
-Why me? Good, I'm choosing truth.
-Are you dating someone? -Thanks Calum for making things easy.
-Yes, I am.
-WHAT? WHO? -Yelled Sierra and Luke at the same time, obviously surprised.
-Just one question per turn, now it's my turn. -I looked at them all and my gaze stopped in Sierra.- My beloved Si, truth or dare?
-I'm scared of saying dare, so, truth.
-If you weren't dating Luke, who in this room would you date? -She opened whide her eyes but then she smiled at me.
-Actually, probably you.
-OMG, Dierra! I ship it! -Exclamed Crystal.
-Anytime, baby. -I winked at her and we laughed.
-Okay, my turn to ask... Ashy, the birthday men, my dear friend, truth or dare?
-I feel brave today, I choose dare. -Sierra giggled and looked at him amused.
-I was looking forward to you saying that. Stand up and pick a person, you have to kiss that person. -God bless you Sierra.
He got up and turned to his right, where I was. He reached out to me and with his help I got up too. I put my arms around his neck and he put his hands on my waist, with a shy smile we went up to smoke in a kiss. It was rare to feel so many glances on it, but at the same time it was amazing to notice Ashton's happiness sprouting, I knew this would make him happy and I wasn't able to hide it much longer either. We split up and hugged.
-I love you. -He whispered in my ear.
-I love you. -I said in the same way.
-Okay, okay, okay, we need an fucking explanation now! -Si said shocked, just as the rest.
-Well, D and I are together. -I've never seen such a big smile in Ash face.
-How? Since when? Why I didn't know this?
-We've been dating since the day of my concert. I don't know exactly how, but it happened and you didn't know it just like no one knew, we wanted to keep it a secret for a while.
-I can't believe it! You guys are the cutest together! I mean, look at you! I can't manage that cuteness. -Crystal was super exited with this.
Suddenly everyone got up and hugged us. Then Luke looked at us With a tender smile.
-I knew you could heal each other, you were meant to be, I'm so happy for you.
I hugged him again and then we continued playing the game until the food came.
-I still can't believe you too are together. -Sierra said.
-Honestly, neither do I. -Answered. Ash looked at me and kissed me on the forehead.
-Yes! I made it! -Crystal exclaimed and then she showed me her phone with a photo of me and Ashton of what just happened.- Sorry, I had to do it, we need remembers from this day.
-Send me that, I love it. -Ash said.
-Are you going to say it to the fans? -Luke asked.
-Maybe some day, I prefer to let people accept the fact that KayKay and I broke up and then we maybe will make it official.
-Yeah, is early for both of us, I mean, people still talking about my ex and I, he's getting a lot of hate, but you know how this works, if you start dating someone so fast they'll start hating you just because it's been a short time since you ended your previous relationship.
-People is so fucking toxic sometimes.
-Let's change the subject because that really pisses me off. -Luke and Sierra decided to have a break from the social media a few days ago, because of the toxicity.
-Okay, D, Ash, tell us how this happened, we want to know everything. -Mike was as excited as Crys with the news.
-Well, I stared having feelings for her the day after we met, I've never believed in love at the first sight, but I think is what happened to me. In fact, Luke knew that I had the feeling that I need to protect her. Then our first kiss was on her birthday, after I gifted her the guitar. And I don't know what else to say... I think that's all, then we started dating and everything is going amazing.
-You are meant to be. -Crystal said with a tender smile.
-The only thing I find impressive is that he's seen your tattoos before me. -I looked at Sierra saying her to shout up with my sight.
-You have tattoos? -Calum asked.
-No, the question is, how did you saw her tattoos? -Ash seemed a little jealous and confused, it was kinda funny.
-We went shopping and she was trying on some underwear and she wanted my opinion about it. -Sierra explained.
-Tell me it wasn't that flowered one you wore today. -Ashton whispered in my ear. I looked at him and I nodded with a guilty face.
-What's wrong? We are friends, is not something strange. -This time was Crystal the one who talked.
-You too? -It was funny to see Ash like that.
-Are you jealous, babe? -He didn't look at me, and I heard the other giggle.- You don't have to, you've seen a lot more than them, you are the lucky here.
-What's the matter? I bet you've seen Luke naked.
-I did, But you weren't even dating him yet.
-But you saw it.
-Just like you've been outraged that I've seen the tattoos before, I've done it because you've seen it before me with that on.
-It was gorgeous, wasn't it? I wanted to buy it for myself, but it was the last one left.
-Yes it was, but, why are we talking about my girlfriend's underwear?
-Is a good question, is kinda awkward. -I said with a nervous laugh.
-Because you asked how did we see her tattoos, is your fault.
-Guys, I have an idea. -Calum said suddenly.- Let's make a BBQ at my place tomorrow! We've haven't done one in forever.
-Oh, I would love it, but I don't know if I can. -I said.
-What? Why? Is gonna be fun!
-It was meant to be a surprise, but tomorrow I'm recording my first single. -I said with a big smile.
-That's amazing! -Ashton exclaimed hugging me and circling in the air, then leaving me on the floor again and kissing me. I noticed how a flash dazzled me and separated from Ash to look at Crystal.
-I said that I want remembers from this day, specially of you two.
-You must send me everything. -Ash said pointing at her.
-But tell us things, what's the name of the song?
-It's called: "Drivers License". And I'm afraid to say that maybe is going to make cry some people.
-Oh, God, D! You always make us cry, do you enjoy it or something?
-No, I don't! But song writing is something moved by feelings, and when I wrote it I was kinda fucked up.
-First the song you wrote with Ash and now this, you're gonna make me have depression. -We laughed at what Sierra said.
-I have some nice songs too, don't worry.
After that we follow the night quietly, watching movies, Crystal taking more pictures and Sierra trying to make Ashton jealous. I was so glad everyone had taken it so well, it probably wasn't something to be expected so soon, but he makes me incredibly happy, I'm really in love with him and something makes me think he's too.
Everyone left around three in the morning. Ash and I went to the room to go to sleep, as the next day would be pretty long for both of us, he had things to do in the studio with the guys and I had the recording of my song.
-Thank you so much for this birthday. -He said hugging me from behind and kissing my cheek.
-Well, I have one last surprise. Yesterday I wrote a song, it's called Little do you know and I want you to sing it with me.
-Are you serious? I'll love that. -He stood in front of me and kissed me enthusiastically.- You're everything I need by my side, you make me so fucking happy, D. God! I'm so in love with you.
This time I was the one who kissed him. My hands got lost in his hair While his arms surrounded me completely, protecting me and causing our bodies to stick.
-Are you tried? -I ask Ashton looking at me with a rogue look, which made me giggle.
-Not at all.
-That is what I expected to hear. -He said and kissed me passionately.
The temperature of the room rose rapidly, just as our clothes were beginning to disappear. I was going to have a great time tonight....
(The next morning...)
-Morning, guys. I'm sorry, I know I'm late. -I said entering the room almost running.
-What took you so long? Long night, Ashy? -Mike said with a mixture of rascality and mockery.
-I wanted to drove D to her studio and when I was coming back there was a little traffic jam. By the way, Calum, she said that if she finishes recording before lunch time she'll go to the Barbecue.
-Cool, Tell her not to forget the swimsuit.
-The way you evaded the second question makes me think that if you've had an entertaining night.
-Shut up, Mike.
-Ooooh, It's blushed! How cute.
-Fuck off, let's continue with this.
Mike laughed and then took his guitar. We were recording the instruments for some of the new songs from the fifth album and it was fucking incredible. I went to my drums ready to start.
The morning passed quickly, when we decided to stop I went home to shower and change my clothes. Denisa wasn't home, and she didn't seem to have been there either, I texted her asking how she was doing in the studio, but she didn't answer me. I decided to go alone to Calum's house and if she wanted to come later because when she could, she had more important things to do than go to a barbecue.
I drove to my friend's house, by the time I arrived they were all there, they had even brought their dogs. I greeted the girls and Roy, as I hadn't seen them yet and we all started chatting cheerfully.
-Hey, Ash, D's not coming? -Si asked.
-Yes, but later, she has to finish recording the song and then she'll come, don't worry.
-Yeah, I'm coming later, for sure. -I heard a voice behind me and Some arms surrounded my waist.
She came in front of me and left a soft kiss in my lips. I looked at her drunk, she was beautiful, she always was. She wore a light blue dress, with polka dots, which was snug at the top but had flight in the skirt area. It looked incredibly good on her. Oh, my God, I'm too in love with this woman.
-Hey, is everything okay? -She asked worried.
-Yes, it's just that you're beautiful. -She blushed.- Now you're more beautiful.
-Stop! You know I'm ashamed of compliments! -D said punching my shoulder a little.
-I'm just saying the truth. What do I do if you're gorgeous?
-You are so stupid... I love you. -She kissed me with sweetness and tenderness. I had the feeling that I was going to melt between her arms.
-OMG, I can't manage such cuteness! -Crystal yelled.
-Yeah, after the night they had is normal to be like that. -I heard Mike talk and I wanted to kill him.
-What the fuck did you tell them? -D separate from me and looking a little angry.
-Nothing! I didn't say anything! But Mike is dumb.
-I asked if you had a long night and you blushed, I didn't need answer, you said everything with your face, mate.
-Mike, shut the fuck up. -Crystal spoke before me, she was looking at her boyfriend threateningly.
-Okay, okay, I'm going back to help Cal...
-Yes, it's the best thing you can do. -Mike went with Calum, and Crys looked at us with a guilty face.- I'm sorry about him, he's stupid.
-Is okay, Crys, don't worry. -My girl said.
-I'm sorry... -I whispered.
-Ash, is okay, you didn't do anything wrong. -She kissed my cheek.- I need a drink, I'm going to get it.
-No, I'll get it for you, stay here with the girls. A mojito, right?
-How well you know me. -She kissed me once more.- I love you.
-I love you. -We never say "too" when we say that we love each other, this way is more pure.
After that, I went inside the house to make her the drink And by the way I made one for myself too.
I looked through the window visualizing D Lying on a sun lounger next to Sierra and Crystal, they were all sunbathing and talking. I was hypnotized by that girl, I found it so perfect and at the same time so fragile. I was so afraid to do something wrong, to hurt her anyway, to think that I can lose it, that one day I get up and she's no longer by my side... I feel a void in my heart just to imagine it. And it's really crazy, I've known her very recently, but I seem to have known her for years. Seriously, it makes me the happiest man in the world.
I finished making our drinks and went back to the garden. When D saw me she made me a place on the sun lounger, where I sat. I gave her her drink and she showed me a big smile and then she drank from her glass.
-Hey, this is supposed to be a pool party, why is the pool empty? -Calum said coming where we were.
-Maybe later, I'm kinda tired. -D answered.
Calum went back with the other boys and D took her sunglasses off to look at me.
-Don't you want to go with the boys? -She asked.
-No, I'm fine here. -I said smiling at her and caring her leg slowly.
-Okay, Ashton, tell me what's going on. -She looked pretty serious.
-Nothing, I just wanna be with you.
She rose from the sun lounger and extended her hand towards me and then made a sign with her head.
Her voice was firm. Crystal and Sierra looked at us expectantly until I decided to take her hand and follow her inside the house.
-I don't like you lying to me. -She said. She seemed disappointed and that broke my heart.
-Kaykay texted me before... She told me she was cheating and that she was sorry...
-Oh, Ash... -She instantly hugged me.- You should tell me, babe. At least you now know the truth, I know it hurts, but you have me now, and I'll do whatever to make you happy. I love you.
-I don't know what I'd do without you. -I kissed her tenderly.- You're too good to be real, I can't believe I have you in my life.
We kissed again. I loved to see how she closed her eyes meanwhile. She put her arms around my neck, like she used to do, Always playing with my hair between her fingers. Everything she did caught my eye, every little detail seemed important to me, I was completely enchanted by that woman and I don't think I rush when I say I want her by my side all my life.
A short time later the food was already made. We all ate together in the garden, towards an amazing day and we weren't going to waste it. Then Calum put on music and started the party itself. Some of the guys got into the pool followed by Si and Crys, we were just missing D and I, who was waiting for her. Then she unbuttoned her dress and took it off under everyone's watchful eye, even Mike and Crystal were looking at her impressed. She finished taking off her dress leaving in sight a precise all-white bikini, which left each and every one of her tattoos in sight. My breath was choppy when I saw it, it was too perfect to be real, every inch of it seemed like a work of art to me. She made a bow and then looked around, realizing that we all looked at her.
-Why are you all looking at me? Is kinda weird. -She said with a nervous laugh.
-Girl, you are stunning, we can't help but look at you. -She blushed.
-Okay, stop looking at my girl like that. -I said standing in front of her so the others wouldn't see her.
-I love to see you jealous. -She whispered from behind and giggled. I turn around to look at her.
-Works of art must be protected, is all I do.
-You only see me with good eyes.
-It would be a crime not to admit how beautiful you are. -I kissed her softly.- I love you.
-I love you. -She kissed me again.
Suddenly I began to feel drops of water falling on us and some screaming from behind.
-Then you'll have time to eat each other, now come here! -Michael yells.
I showed her my middle finger and then I grabbed D by the waist to kiss her more passionately. The others began to cheer us up, I could tell how Denisa laughed between kisses over the cheers and screams coming from our friends.
-Let you know I've recorded everything! -Crystal said from the pool.
I separated from her and she looked at me biting her lower lip. This woman had the power to turn me on in seconds. At that moment an idea crossed my mind and I smiled roguely, she looked at me strangely and without warning I grabbed her in my arms and began to walk towards the pool, she as she realized she began to move to let go while I laughed.
-Ash, no! Ashton please! -She was laughing too, But at the same time she tried to escape.
Seconds later I made us both fall into the water. In revenge she submerged my head, but I deserved it.
-You're so stupid. -She said splashing me.
-You love me. -I said doing the same thing.
-WATER FIGHT!! -Mike and Calum screamed.
And then the war started, we all splashed each other, drowned each other, boiled teams so we could win. I was having a good time as a little boy.
It was starting at sunset, we all came out of the pool and the girls were taking advantage of the last rays of sunshine to dry out while relaxing on the sun loungers. I was with the guys, we were planning a little trip, but it would be in mid-August, right now we had a lot of things to do, including recording the song and the video clip with D, which would happen in just two weeks. The producer and she have decided to keep secret what we will do, I know she goes to rehearsals But he never tells me what he does in them, I guess I'll find out.
-What are you doing, Luke? -I asked when I saw him taking a photo.
-They are in the exact same position, Looks like it's done on purpose. -I looked at the girls and he was right, it was kinda creepy, and it was more creepy when the three of them turned to look at us at the same time.
-Everything's okay? -Sierra asked.
-How is it possible that you're so in sync? You're scary. -Luke said showing them the picture.
-OMG! I love that photo, I need it. -Crystal said excited and Luke shared the pictures with her.- I'm going to post it on insta.
I got closer to D and I sat down next to her. She rested her head on my shoulder with a tender smile. It soon got dark and we all got on the porch to talk quietly, it was being a great day. And to think that a month ago I was broken... Life takes a lot of spins.
I was coming home from rehearsals, in a few days we started recording and everything had to be perfect, the funny thing is that the guys still don't know what the video is going to be like, but I'm sure they're going to love it and they're going to be a little surprised too
A few days ago we recorded the song and it was amazing, the truth is that at first I didn't think it was going to get so groundbreaking, I thought it would be more of a ballad but it has become something much more rocker and I love it.
When I got home, I parked the car and went home.
-Ash, are you home? -I asked, because usually he came to greet me when I arrive.
I went to the living room and there I met Ashton and a blue-haired girl sitting on the couch, quiet. He turned when he heard me enter the room and got up to come to me.
-D, she's KayKay... -His voice was sad, it hurt to see him like this.
She got up too and came to us.
-I'm Denisa, nice to meet you. -I said extending my hand.
-I guess you're his girlfriend... He's a great boy, I'm glad he found someone. Well, I'm leaving, I don't want to disturb...
-Hey, if you want to talk with him go ahead, don't worry. -I said stopping her. She nodded and looked at Ash.
They went back to the couch and I was going to leave to give them some intimacy, but before I could pass the humbral of the door Ashton's voice stopped me.
Without saying anything, I went to his side and sat next to him. Almost instantly his arm surrounded my waist, he was shaking and could see his eyes holding back tears. I knew perfectly well that he was still very hurt by everything past with Kaitlyn and felt helpless to see him like this and not know what to do to calm him down.
-I'm sorry I left without telling you anything, I know it wasn't right. But I didn't know what to do, I understand you hate me, what I've done has no forgiveness. -He paused and looked at us with a little smile.- But I'm glad you've found someone who really loves you, for a long time since I've seen that look on you.
-Why didn't you know what to do? Why did you make me live a lie for so long? -His voice broke as he spoke.
-That's why I wanted to talk to you... God, I don't know how to say this... Ashton, I'm pregnant. -At that very instant he tightened and paled
-It's mine? That can't be possible. -In my head I just prayed that the baby wasn't his, because that would complicate things too much.
-No, is not yours, that's why I left. I want you to say publicly that we're no longer together, because people are already starting to make theories and you know that can only hurt you.
-And what happens when they find out you're pregnant? You know how much hate I'm going to get because people are going to think we broke up because I didn't want the baby?
-In that case I'll say the truth too.
-Fine, I'll tell everyone what happened... Can you leave, please. -Kaykay looked down and nodded, then got up from the couch and grabbed her purse.
-I'm so sorry this all happened, Ashton. You're an amazing guy and I really hope everything goes great with her, you deserve to be happy.
After saying that she left. Hearing the front door close Ashton broke instantly, thousands of tears began to sprout from his eyes and all I knew how to do was hug him. Oh, my God, it killed me to see him like this. I was shaking in my arms, hiding his face in the hollow of my neck. I noticed his tears wetting my skin and as much as I wanted to cry too, I had to stay strong for him, make him see that he has a support and that he is not alone.
I knew how much he loved KayKay and somehow I was afraid not to live up to it, I was afraid that he would never get to feel for me what he could have felt for her.
-For a second I came to think that the baby could be mine... -He whispered when he was calmer.- I don't even know what I felt at the time, I think my brain stopped working for a second. But at least now I know the whole truth.
-It's shocked me, too. -I didn't know what to say, I was blocked.
-Can we go upstairs and hug me?
-Of course, babe. Come. -I said getting up with a tender smile.
We both went to our room and layed in the bed. He put his head on my chest and surrounded me with his arms. One of my hands slowly stroked her hair while the other was intertwined with Ashton's. We were both quiet, I could only look at my boyfriend's face and think about how lucky I am to have him by my side.
-Can you sing me something to me? It relaxes me a lot and I love hearing you sing. -I nodded and I kiss the top of his head.
-"Little do you know
How I'm breakin' while you fall asleep
Little do you know
I'm still haunted by the memories
Little do you know
I'm tryin' to pick myself up piece by piece
Little do you know
I need a little more time"
"I'll wait, I'll wait
I love you like you've never felt the pain
I promise you don't have to be afraid
Love is here and here to stay
So lay your head on me"
-That was beautiful, D... I've never heard it before. -His bright eyes looked at me with admiration.
-Remember I told you I wanted you to sing a song with me? This is the song, what do you think?
-I think it's beautiful and it really reflects how we feel. It's unbelievable, seriously.
-I'm glad you like it. -I said giving him a smooth kiss.
-D, please promise me that if you ever want this to end you'll tell me.
-Look at me and remember my words, Ashton: I will never want this to end.
-I came to think kaitlyn was the love of my life, but every second that passes I realize I was wrong, because I've never been as in love with someone as I am of you. From the beginning you were there when I was wrong and even if I was an idiot most of the time, you always gave me a second chance. I'd like to know how to put into words how much I love you, but it's impossible. -I couldn't help but start crying while he was talking, his words were so beautiful, so pure, and made me emotional.- Hey, babe, don't cry. -He wiped some of my tears away.
-I just don't believe I've found someone with such a big, pure heart. I love you too much, Ashton.
At that moment on his face appeared the prettiest smile I had ever seen. Seconds later he put our lips together in a kiss, it was all so perfect, it would stay that way forever.
Merci pour la lecture!
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