When we first met at the school, we were complete strangers. She was a grade ten student, and I was an English teacher. It was my first teaching assignment. It was a profession that I chose rather than one that was thrust upon me by destiny. Therefore, I had every reason to be even more enthusiastic and creative. Days passed, and I began enjoying my job and spending time with the children.
I couldn't think teaching was like taking a walk in the park, as someone described it… maybe without relevant experience. Yes, I really have to accept it; yet, with a correction that it is Jurassic Park. Because of the 'no reprimand rule enforced on teachers,' I have often lost my marbles and felt trapped. Some of the classes, I believed, were simply an extension of the hell we had read about that existed in reality. A stick, rather than a book or an instructor, has always seemed to me to be a better teacher. Since it was my first experience, I attempted to be as nice and kind to the boys and girls as possible. My only thought at that point was to give them the impression that I was approachable. I was successful in that attempt, and I won the hearts of the majority of the students in the school with my unique nature and personality. The head principal was pretty fond of me and held a high opinion of me, which eventually created lots of new haters.
Although I had unforgettably wonderful days in the midst of the crazy brains in those classrooms, I still cherish some of the little faces that were sources of relief for me then. One of those faces was Merin. Calm, shy, and charming....I would describe her.
"Sir, your classes are interesting," she has commented several times. I always took them with a pinch of salt, never knowing what she really had in mind.
She seemed to be the only one in my classes who paid attention. I entrusted her with creative subject-related tasks, and she did them with enthusiasm and passion. She quickly rose to the top of my list of favorite students.... No, if I'm being honest, she was becoming a little more than a good friend. Mobile phones brought us closer together. Little chats turned into minutes of conversation...... yet they were only casual chats.
Slowly, I realized it wasn't just a matter of admiration for a teacher. My human frailty yielded to her adolescent feelings. Without our knowing, the relationship was intensifying in terms of both degree and size. Professional ethics never questioned my moral sense. Though I knew she was taking more freedom and demanding more from me, I, out of my human weakness, fell prey to my emotions. I was conscious that we were stepping beyond the teacher-student relationship, but I warmly welcomed it.
I considered the consequences of giving in to my actual feelings, as well as the issues that might arise owing to our age difference. However, the successful lives of many exemplary couples with significant age gaps inspired me. If we both have no issues, the age gap doesn't matter; but we will have to challenge and satisfy society's so-called social convictions and ideologies. All of this bothered me and put me in a dilemma.
Merci pour la lecture!
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