El día que mi marido murió, me llenaron de preguntas estúpidas. Logré evadir cada una de ellas con la destreza de una mujer digna del hombre que falleció. El problema... Ja, el problema. El problema vino cuando el tomate que no me atreví a usar para la cena me delató. —Oficial, hemos encontrado el arma homicida. —Ha sido un tomate congelado señor.

As he spoke, I found myself admiring his looks. His voice was smooth and soothing, and I couldn't help but focus on the way his lips moved as he spoke, rather than the words themselves. They were full and fluffy, and I found myself wondering what it would feel like to be kissed by him. I also couldn't help but wonder how old he was. I was quite sure we weren't only two or three years apart. It was obvious that he was older than me. He could be twenty-nine or thirty, maybe even older.

He was standing there, gun in hand with a black cap on his dirty hair. Blood was flowing down his arms from his hurt fingers. He looked so tired like he had taken on the weight of the sky for a while. His friend, Dennis, looked at him with sadness. How could things have taken such a dramatic turn? "Drop the gun." He said in a sigh. Marcus listened to him and did as asked, a flash of relief running across his face. All this... Because of a single measly pickle jar.

A chicken once tried to cross the road, But alas, it had been bestowed With such short little legs, It toppled and kegs, And ended up being quite slowed. Its feathered friends swooped down to help, But found it was quite a difficult yelp To get him up and standing, Without a bit of demanding, But soon they all flew away with a chirpy little yelp.

(this is not real) I was watching TV and I heard a noise, I was so dramatic and grabbed a baseball bat and proceeded with action and caution. Then there was a loud bang. Then I remembered I forgot to turn off the A/C. Well I’m out.

The local librarian was super hot. I tried to think of a creative way to ask her out...I'd use a book! "Hi, I'm known as The Giver of great first dates." "Uh huh...but when you entered the library, I heard A Wind in the Door. I won't have that on our date." "Is that...yes?" "We won't be going to an Animal Farm. I choose the place." “Yippee!”

There once was a man from Peru, Who loved to wear just one shoe. His friends thought it odd, But he just gave a nod, And said, "At least it's not two!" 🤣🤣

On here, I wrote my first book, Try Not To Laugh, I tried these jokes on my friends who don't find any jokes funny, and guess what, THEY LAUGHED. If they liked it I'm sure you will (but please, in the comments put what your favorite was, please and thank you). And also, I'm looking for volunteers to help me with my new horror book, Smile, where a creepy psycho mime enters a house and haunts a family in the new house. Thanks for reading. Sincerely, Trel

The waiter is coming, I am looking around, the waiter is coming to my table and. The waiter went the other table because the food was the same I ordered and they ordered the same thing.

He was studying, suddenly he heard scratching at the main door. He was alone, he grabbed a baseball bat and slowly approached the door, he opened the door and. “Who are you please don’t hurt me.” Said the boy. “Dude I’m your cat.” Said the cat. “ Why da cat talk, aaahhhhhhhh!!!