nerdygamermama Kati Mahadeo

Asher has had a hard life. His parents died when he was a child, sending him to St. Michaels Orphanage at the age of 5 where he meets the love of his life, Jasper. Unfortunately, because of Asher's personality it puts them both in dangerous situations that ultimately takes Asher's life. With the help of a Reaper, Asher is able to come back in another persons body. To his surprise, Asher is put into the son of one of the richest men in New York. Now as Harry Freemont, Asher has to search for his lost love and win him over before his time runs out. *WARNING* This story as graphic depictions of violence and suicide. *Chapters are unedited as they are published. Please bare with me if some things are wrong and I will get to them when I get an opportunity. Some of this story has segments of different languages. I apologize if the words or phrases are wrong. I am working with friends as well as Google Translate.*


LGBT+ No para niños menores de 13.

#romance #drama #boy-love #spiritual #true-love #gangster-love #soul-swapping
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Death of a Sinner

Who was it that said when a person is dying they see all their memories? This overwhelming pain that’s consuming my senses is nothing compared to the pain I feel in my heart when I imagine your face. That's all I see. All the precious moments of love we shared play like a movie in my head. Your smile, your laugh, the way you looked in the moonlight at the lake where we used to hide away from the world.

Why does it have to be you I see? After everything you did to me, I still can't seem to let you go. You take up my heart and fill my thoughts. Even as I lay here, bleeding out, all I can think about is if you are ok. How much I wish I could hold you one more time. See your dark brown eyes looking into mine, longing for me like they used to. The feel of your soft skin under my hands. The tenderness of your kisses. The beating of our hearts together as I hold you close.

I miss it all. I miss you. Tears stream out of the corners of my eyes as a mouth full of blood seeps from my mouth. It’s hard to breathe. I guessed the bullet punctured my lung due to the way I can barely take in any air. The way my lungs and throat burned…I knew this feeling all too well. I was drowning.

You never forget the feeling once you’ve experienced it. It’s haunted my dreams since I was a child. Now my worst nightmare is coming true. I try to push myself off the floor but my body doesn’t want to respond. All I can do is lay here and accept my fate. Above me, flashes of gunshots and smoke fill the air. The smell of gunpowder and blood wafted through the open warehouse as I heard painful cries and bodies fall around me. Though everything was blurry, I was able to make out the silhouette of my lover out of the corner of my eye. I have just enough energy to tilt my head to get a better view.

I could see him looking around frantically before his eyes landed on me. I couldn’t help but feel a weird sense of happiness once we locked eyes. My lips curled up slightly as I opened my mouth to call out to him but only managed to cough up more blood; the force knocked me back down to the cold concrete floor.

He must be here for me. He has always been overprotective of me since we were kids. I was always getting myself into some sort of trouble. FIghts in school, drinking with my friends, coming home late at night drunk or high. Since we moved out of the orphanage he’s devoted his time to care of a loser like me. I don’t deserve his kindness. Sometimes I wish he would’ve given up on me a long time ago.

Ever since I ended up at St.Michaels after my parents death, I’ve been acting out. I can’t help myself. It’s like an undying impulse to want to do bad things. Jasper was the only person who stuck with me through it all. Through all the drunken blackouts, drug induced manias and violent fights I put myself in; he was there for me. I curse myself daily for making him go through my bullshit.

He doesn’t deserve that. He deserves to be happy, to be in a healthier relationship but I’m selfish. I wanted to keep him close to me. So close that no one in the world would be able to touch him without my permission. We used to joke that he always had to be within arms reach at all times. We would laugh like it was funny but somewhere within the depths of my soul, I never thought of it as a joke. I needed him to be that close to me otherwise I would lose my mind.

Call it possessiveness or greed but if I wasn’t next to him, I felt like I was lost. Like I was stuck in the dark alone and afraid of being lost forever. The Nuns at the Orphanage used to tell me that I needed to pray for guidance but fuck that. If there really was a higher power or ‘God’, why would he have taken away the only people in the world who gave a shit about me?

Not to mention the fact that, according to the church, being gay was a sin. Why would I want to bother seeking out some guy who thinks my love for another man is a sin? I tried to get Jasper to let go of his religiousness but he would always defend it by saying “Just because one person sees God that way doesn’t mean that’s how he is.” In turn I would laugh and make some stupid joke about how if God was real he wouldn’t allow us to suffer the way we were.

When I think about it, this has to be my karma for saying all those things. If I didn’t agree to help Remi and Gus ‘handle a problem’, if I didn’t have that fight with Jasper over coming here, things would’ve been different. Hell, if I wasn’t so fucked up we wouldn’t even be stuck in the projects. We wouldn’t be surviving off of what little money Jasper and I make doing whatever jobs we can find. If I wasn’t such a screw up, I would’ve been able to pay him back for all the years he’s loved and cared for me.

Now I’m here. Drowning in my own blood on this filthy warehouse floor. I’m so stupid. I should’ve known better than to have believed Remi. “It’ll be a quick and easy job I promise. In and out, no problems. Once the job is done, we all get a huge cut. You can finally move out of that disgusting apartment and get that place in Florida you and Jasper have always wanted.”

Of course I was skeptical. Anytime Remi came to me with a job, it usually ended up with one of us in the hospital or in the lock up downtown. I should’ve known better than to trust his words but the thought of leaving this life of poverty and being able to give Jasper the life he deserved was too tempting to resist. As I looked over at Jasper playing with Remi’s kids, something in me pushed me to agree.

How dumb am I to think I could have left this life behind me. No matter how much I wanted to start over with Jasper, it would only ever be a distant dream; as unattainable as trying to catch the stars. My vision began to fill with dark spots as I felt my body shiver from the numbing cold climbing up my body. I was barely able to take in any air, gasping desperately as my heart slowed to a crawl.

I hear Jasper calling out my name but I can’t move. “Don’t come over here. Please. Don’t come closer. It’s too dangerous.” I pleaded in my mind. As I stared helplessly at the steel beams above me, I saw the red and blue flashing lights of cops appear along with screams of officers. “Drop your weapons and get on the ground now!”

A few more gunshots rang out into the open air before the sound of a couple bodies hitting the ground. Tears flowed from my eyes as I hoped Jasper wasn’t one of the ones who got hit. Everything was almost completely black as I saw someone lean down above me. My body was numb but I could still feel them putting pressure on the wound on my chest.

Under the loud ringing in my ears, I heard them saying something I couldn’t understand. Before I knew it, I was lifted into the air and placed into what looked like an ambulance before blacking out. “Jasper…Jasper…” My voice echoed around me in the darkness. I was so cold. “Where am I? What happened?”

“Don’t worry friend. You’re in a safe place. Just relax. Everything’s going to be ok now.” “Huh? Who’s that? Who are you?!” I cried out. Suddenly a bright light blinded me causing me to blink a few times to adjust my eyes. Once I was able to see again, I found myself standing in a white room. I looked around but there were no doors or windows in sight.

“Hello Asher.” I jumped back at the sound of the man’s voice. “He wasn’t there a minute ago. Where the Hell did he come from?” I thought as I looked around then back at the stranger. I kept my guard up as I inspected him. He was dressed in an all white suit that brought out the color of his perfectly tanned skin. His hands were folded behind his back as he smiled brightly at me.

His black hair was gelled back with the sides faded. The stubble on his face brought out his strong jawline perfectly. What really caught my attention was the color of his eyes. Although he looked Middle Eastern, his eyes were a beautiful light blue. They held a light in them that mesmerized me. Unconsciously, my jaw dropped open. Holy shit this man is gorgeous! I shook myself internally, swallowing hard before speaking.

“H…How did you know my name?” I stuttered. He chuckled, the upward curve of his eyes as he smiled made my heart flutter. “That’s not all I know about you.” He pulled out a file from thin air and opened it, placing a finger on the page. He cleared his throat. He took a step forward, making me put my arms up in defense. My hostile gesture only made him laugh harder. “Relax Asher, I won’t hurt you.”

He looked back down at the page. “Asher Sweeney, 24 years old, 6’1ft tall, 175 pounds, Born in Sarasota Florida on December 25, 2000. Placed in the care of Lucy and Marcus Sweeny who died in a hit and run accident on November 23, 2005. Sent to live in New York with your Uncle, Kevin Sweeny, who decided to give you to the Saint Michael's Orphanage after marrying Jenifer Kingsly on June 12, 2006.”

He paused, his smile fading into a deep frown. “How can anyone do that to a child?” He commented under his breath before looking up at me and back down at the page with a heavy sigh. He slid his finger down the page, stopping in the middle. His smile quickly returned as he read out the rest of the page. “Boyfriend of Jasper Gao. Resides at 147 West 14th Street in apartment 139.”

He glanced up at me as he flipped the page. He shook his head as he scanned the paper. “Wow Asher, you have quite an extensive record.” I titled my head to try and have a look at what he was looking at but from what I could see the page was blank. The man ‘tsked’ with a shake of his head. “I haven’t seen a person with this much tragedy since 1967 and he was 78.

He closed the file with a heavy sigh before putting his hands behind his back again and looking up at me with sad eyes. Something in his gaze made me slowly lower my arms. He looked like he cared about me. It was strange but I felt safe in his presence. I haven’t had this feeling with anyone but Jasper before. It made me uncomfortable.

“Asher Sweeny, 24 years old… died on April 15, 2024 in a shootout between rival gangs in the ambulance on the way to St.Mary’s Hospital.” My eyes widened as my heart sank. “W…What?” He reached out to put his hand on my shoulder but I dodged it, taking two large steps backward. “No…no I can’t be dead. You’re lying.”

My mind whirled as my eyes began to water. “I’m sorry Asher but you are dead. You died of excessive blood loss and damage to your heart and lungs from the three bullets that hit you.” He put his hand behind his back again with another sigh. Suddenly it hit me. Jasper was there. I rushed over to the man, grabbing his jacket with both hands.

“Jasper… What about Jasper?! Is he ok?” I shook him as I spoke. He gazed deeply into my eyes as he carefully placed his hands on mine. The gentle touch of his hands made the tears I tried to hold back fall onto my leather jacket. “He’s fine Asher. Take a breath.” I let out a sigh of relief that turned into a sob.

“Look Asher…” He took me by the shoulders, pushing me back a step to make me release him. “I am sorry you had to go through everything you experienced in life. I’m also very sorry it ended the way it did but we have important matters to deal with so I’m going to need you to pull yourself together, ok?” I looked up at him with a sniffle before pushing his hands away.

“Are you fucking serious? I FUCKING DIED and you want me to get over it?!” His expression changed instantly with my words. “There’s no need to curse. Yes, I expect you to get over it because we are on a time frame and if I don’t keep to my schedule a lot of other souls are going to go to others and I won’t make my quota. Any other questions?” His words were harsh and frosty, taking me by surprise.

It had been a long time since anyone had spoken to me that way. Most people are too scared to even say a few words to me let alone scold me. Besides Jasper, the last person who talked to me like this was Sister Andrea after she found out Jasper and I were dating. It wasn’t long after that that Jasper and I decided to run away to avoid being sent to a ‘Rehabilitation Camp’ where they sent all the homosexual kids.

I heard a few kids killed themselves after going through what they called ‘The Cleansing of the Soul’. There was no way I was going to allow anyone to lay their hands on Jasper so we made a plan to go to my hometown and make a life for ourselves. Unfortunately, two 15 year old kids with fifty dollars and a dream only went as far as the city limits. My heart began to ache at the thought of Jasper.

“Asher? Asher!” The man’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and back to this unwanted reality. “Fine, whatever.” I mumbled, wiping my face with my hand. The man sighed. “I apologize for being harsh but time is crucial. Now, you have two options. One. You can ascend to be judged on where you will be spending your afterlife or two. You can be reborn into the world and live a brand new life. Which would you like to choose?”

I shook my head. “Isn’t there a way to send me back?” The man took a deep breath with an annoyed look. “No. There is no way to send you back to your body.” “Please…is there any way for me to go back? I have to get back to Jasper. I can’t just abandon him. He’s all alone in the world. Please Sir. I’ll do anything.”

The man’s eyes softened a bit before hardening again and looking away from me. “I’m sorry. There is no way for you to go back to your old life. Please make a choice quickly so I can move on to the next soul.” I could tell he wasn’t telling the whole truth. As I like to say “You can’t bullshit a bullshiter.” I put on a sad face and placed my hand on his arm.

He glanced over at me before quickly looking away. I felt him tense as I leaned over to catch his eyes with mine. “Please. I know there’s some way for me to go back.” He swallowed hard as he looked at me. Bingo. I pulled his hand into mine with a soft tug.

“Please Sir. I need to take care of Jasper before I go. I swear, once I get him in a better place I won’t fight you anymore. I will come back without hesitation and go wherever you want me to.” We stared at each other for a few moments before he threw his hands up in the air. “Ok ok! Enough with the puppy dog look. I can’t take it anymore! There is a way but it’s a lot of paperwork.”

My eyes lit up with joy. “Please, I'll do anything.” He shot me an annoyed look as he dropped his hands. He let out a long sigh before composing himself again. “Because you were so young and had such a tragic history, there is a third option.” “What is it?” “If and I mean if there is an opening, I can send you back in a different body.”

I practically jumped with excitement as he pulled out another file from behind his back and opened it. “It looks like there is an availability that just opened up.” He closed the file before looking up at me. “Are you sure you want to take this option? I can’t guarantee that you will be able to live a long time in the body I give you but at least it will allow you to finish whatever business you still have there.”

I nodded vigorously. “I don’t care. As long as I can see Jasper again, I’m willing to do anything.” He let out another long sigh before taking a few steps backward. The room began to dim as I felt myself slowly fall through the floor. “I’ll see you soon Asher.” The man called out as I faded through the floor and into the darkness. I’m coming Jasper. Wait for me.

30 de Marzo de 2024 a las 21:23 0 Reporte Insertar Seguir historia
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