If you've never felt yourself die, then you are one of the lucky ones. I've felt like my whole life, some of me died, and people mistake me for being numb, emotionless, and maybe a bit unkind.
But that's not it at all, I swear. I'm not unkind or unfeeling towards anything—quite the opposite.
I want to be numb. Instead, I feel everything.
The whole world seems to be laughing at me, but it's just the voices in my head talking.
I want to die, but I can't, at least not yet. But I need a reason to stay.
I bought myself a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of liquor. I bumped into you. My bottle falls out of my hand, but you catch it. I sigh with relief and hear you ask me. "Are you going to drink this alone?"
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