Ennio. If I still think of him today, I blushed to the roots of my hair. He had been so incredibly brave and beautiful. But the time with Ennio had been short and the best time of my life until that evening when the time with him ended. I was very old now but one thing I still had to finish before I would breathe my last, and that was to tell the truth about what had happened that cold January night that turned into February about what I had never wanted to talk about because it was me hurt so much about what my children didn't know. I had kept it from them and they still thought to this day that Emanuel had been their father. But Emanuel hadn't been alive for two years either. He had grown old. Very old since he was a few years older than me. My daughter came to my bed. I was in the hospital. Windpipes were in my nose and mouth as I couldn't get air otherwise and I felt weak and longed for something with all my might which is to die, to stop having to carry around the stiff aching old limbs with me, to stop all this Sorrowful to think what my bitter life had been - how my life had tasted and hopefully to finally be able to see my Ennio again. Not here but elsewhere. My life had tasted of cold and loneliness and had been desolate. If Annabella and Thorsten hadn't been born, who gave me a lot of support through their presence, for which I had fought - without them I would probably have taken my own life long ago. i loved my kids I would even sacrifice my life to save her. I had never had anyone but those two. I grew up in an orphanage and only knew misery and I didn't have too much money either. I also hadn't gotten the opportunity to get an education and had only got by with a couple of jobs in my life until I met Emanuel. But life had taught me one thing, someone who cried loudly and heartily in the rain and was very happy with one in the sunshine, he held by one. But unfortunately my life had also taught me what my husband, Ennio Cupert, had made of me, whom I still loved to this day and whom I still missed very much. My daughter entered the room. She was tall, dark blonde, slim and looked like Ennio. Or rather, she looked like him in a spitting image. Her husband and she owned a small company in the Black Forest. I started to tell her about that time, awkwardly, but it worked, and I was drawn back to a different time that I loved so much. I realized again that Ennio had been my great love. There just wouldn't be two of him. I was drawn to the time with Ennio and when Annabella and Thorsten were still very small. Ennio had come home late that evening. He had been walking on the beach and when the storm had come he had come home. His dark hair was soaked and his clothes were wet. He changed upstairs in our bedroom, walked down the stairs and looked at me. "Diana," he said in that confident manner I loved about him. "Unfortunately I have to leave you. But I'll be back in the spring." He gently stroked my hair and looked into my eyes. He stepped closer, eventually pulling me to his chest and gently rocking me. Then he pulled me away again and said while I saw the tears in his eyes and knew that he didn't want to leave at all on this stormy, rainy and ominous night but rather stayed with us in the warm house. "When exactly are you coming back?" I asked in a tear-choked voice. I hated it when he always went away as a captain at sea. Outside the storm was raging and the sea banged loudly against the surf. The storm rattled the roof beams of the old Cupert couple's old mansion. Ennio's parents. "In the spring. Probably April 1st, depending on that. A captain," he smiled in embarrassment. "Never knows if he'll be back on time, the sea knows that, but I'll try to be back on time and it will definitely be my last voyage as captain. I promise you, Diana." Ennio hugged me tightly again while I smelled his good smelling familiar aftershave which I loved so much. "We'll leave in two days, maybe in three when we're sure that the storm is over. But you know that I always have to go to town beforehand to prepare everything there." We hugged each other deeply and for a long time and kissed each other on the mouth to say goodbye. Annabella and Thorsten slept upstairs. I watched Ennio for a long time from the kitchen window and sucked in his tall, strong figure until it had disappeared into the darkness. But in April no Ennio returned, not even belatedly in May. He was first reported missing until it was discovered that his cargo had capsized and any help on board had come far too late. I became a very sad young widow and even dressed in black when two years had passed by the time I met Emanuel and I got a little happier but I was never the happy young rose I was then. Ennio's death had left a big hole in me that I never spoke of and didn't want to speak about. Shortly after the news that the ship had capsized, the old Cuperts threw us out of the house and I fought my way through with small jobs in garden centers until I started helping more and more in small companies and earned some extra money. When I was silent Annabella looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh mom, my dad was really a captain. I can't believe it." "Yes he was," I murmured. Another thing life had taught me was that if you wanted something you had to do everything for it and not like Ennio in a different way now, for example, when it was too late. Life was hard enough and no matter who left you had to keep going, keep living and look ahead or you were lost.
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