God watch over babies an fools, I loved a man whom didn't love our own fleshing blood, he helped create and could of controlled it, all because he was just settling in his career and life seemed perfect enough with out an extra mouth to feed.
Well my pleading didn't change his feelings nor mind, he meant what he said. The son of a bitch I loved so much and had given my entire self too, told me to go schedule an abortion he wanted nothing to do with it. He never asked me how I felt about it, because though we was married I was still alone he stayed so busy with his career.
As Time had gone by after receiving the $1000.00 from the selfish man I vowed to love till death do us part, my mind had gone into some very dark places. I didn't know what to do, I grabbed the phone one morning to call up a friend for advice about what I was dealing with behind the closed doors of what pose to been love ever after.
The conversation with my childhood friend had gone very well, enough that my mind was released from those dark thoughts I had been having for weeks. I made a decision that not only made me hate myself before and after but my husband as well. He was rarely at home after finding out I was three months pregnant.
He really pressed the issue to the point he told me one evening, that if I didn't get rid of our own unborn child he would have someone that would. Me already looking at him side ways from a selfish decision, didn't know how to take it as a promise or threat. Either way I wasn't comfortable in my own home any nomore, though he wasn't there.
The thought that he was so unhappy and bothered about the whole becoming a parent thing, and said what I knew he meant was enough for me not to trust him are who he knew. The company he kept was followers anyway he had majority brain washed and fooled, they basically praised the devil.
Me and my friend decided to get me out the home until the baby arrive alive. We where afraid my husband will have me murdered, which I had listened to many pillow talks about how back in the days, him and a few others he had trained, had a dark past of murders he never had to face accountability nor those mentioned. We just knew abortion wasn't an option I wanted my baby boy are girl.
I did not even realize after staying safe and put up til my delivery day, that time had flown so bad and I haven't got a call are text from my husband. He had more than a career going on and that was the most depressing feeling, on top of going through the motions my last few weeks of labor pains.
Wondering who had gotten his attention, more than me and his unborn child drove me to set my own due date. I didn't care anymore I wanted all the smoke and had all the questions. When my baby boy finally decided to come out, It was like a pilot finally arriving with his souls on board safe and unharmed!
Baby Sigh weighed 8 pounds and 9 oz, the sad part about it is he looked just like his father, whom by this time I every bit of hated. I couldn't wait to confront him like I should have the moment he told me to have an abortion, but the old me was too passive and nieve the new me has something more sinister than he thought he had up his sleeves.
Once I had to sign our child over to my friend, trusting believing that she would give him a better life than I could alone, was the most painful heart breaking moment of my existence. At least I had gotten a few days to hug hold and talk to my son before turning him over to someone he didn't even know, but I believed had my best entrest.
She promised me she would never reject my calls are whenever I wanted to come bond with him, but time had to arrive and tell it all. I had done what I thought was better than getting an abortion. She was so happy about becoming a temporary parent and two years later on my baby boy second birthday she had gotten married and I never heard from her again.
While feeling doubled betrayed I went on a mission to find my child and the women who had him, and a mission to find the other women are women my husband had found a whole new life with. I was the most unhappiest depressed torn broken person I felt had walked God green earth.
I couldn't figure out how we even gotten to this point. He came In one evening to sneak out some more his belongings, didn't even recognize I was behind the bedroom wall I had built secretly, watching and hearing exactly what my gut has been telling me all along. I even got a few phone numbers and addresses, this man my husband was really over me and from the listen of his conversations I didn't even exist, how happy he was I just disappeared. He didn't even have a care to find out my where abouts, even though I was crushed it still would of made me feel a li better If he tried looking for me.
I turned from a loyal house wife to a lethal weapon, seeking revenge not only for myself but our son, who I spent many years trying to find. How I couldn't imagine what his life was like now that he's all growed up, most likely trying to figure out where he come from and who he belong too.
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