There were not so many advertisements in that free platform of people offering German classes in her area, therefore it took not too long time for Leticia to check all of them. One in special called her attention.
“Private German or English classes for those who really need it and are willing to learn properly the language with an efficient method and a very strict teacher. I will give you five classes of 2 hours each one for free, as test, using my private developed method. These classes can be at your place, my place or even in a public place sometimes. My condition is that no one should absolutely disturb us during these two hours together and you should reserve sometime to accomplish some homework I will give. In case of interest, a test will be applied and according to the result I can accept you or not as my student. The less you know, the better chance you have, to learn with my method. As I work independently, I am quite flexible with the time.
If you don’t learn anything during these classes, you don’t have to pay anything, and I disappear. If I can convince, you need me, we can negotiate the price for the next classes. Please contact me by What’s App at the phone: XX XXX XXX XXX or the email [email protected]. Gerhard Schmidt”
Leticia got intrigued with that generous offer and the confident way Mr. Schmidt wrote his ad. She decided to write immediately him and take a try, after all, she could get 5 classes of 2 hours each for free! If she would not like it, as he himself said, she would not be obliged to continue. The way of teaching should be really something revolutionary, and the guy might be starting and wants to convince people about his qualifications, thought Leticia. Otherwise, why would he loose ten hours of his time to give classes for free? For sure, he must be good and like very much teaching. I must run to contact him. I guess, there will be soon lots of people contacting him. I’d better send a What’s App message than an email, thought Leticia.
What’s App message: Dear Mr. Schmidt, my name is Leticia and I’ve read your message in the platform “Who We R” offering German classes. I can already speak some German, but it’s still far away of being good. I did some private courses, but it seems, I am stuck at the same point. Maybe you can help. Do you still have time?
Herr Schmidt got the message with some enthusiasm, checked the photo of Leticia in her What’s App profile and guessed, she should be between 54 and 58 years in not bad conditions. He decided to answer:
What’s App message: Dear Leticia, I see you speak English and I wonder how your German is. How old are you, where and how do you live? You surely read, that when we meet at a first time, I will apply a test, which qualify you or not to be my student.
When would you have time to do this test? Where would you like to do it, at my place or your place? In case I become your teacher, I demand you to write and speak only in German, even if you do mistakes. If you really want to learn, you should accept fully my method since the begging. Best regards, G. Schmidt.
What’s App message: Thank you for your quick answer Mr. Schmidt. I could do the test right now, if you send me it per email. And yes, I am willing to learn German well and am curious to know your method. How is it, your unusual method, by the way?
What’s App message: I am sorry Leticia, but we should meet in order that I apply the test on you. I should also check how fluent you are to talk and to understand some dialogs. But you don’t need to be afraid. If I see that you are not afraid of learning in a strict regime, and you need a firm teacher the way I am, I will consider taking you as my pupil. I believe that when a student thinks too high of him/herself, she loses gradually the capacity to learn further, because she thinks, she knows enough or a lot already. In order to learn well and further, it’s necessary to break this arrogance in every student. My method implies in not point or praise too much what the student had learned already, but to be sincere and show constantly his/her weakness and how much more he/she has still to learn. That’s why, there is no sense for me to take a very advanced German speaker as student. I hope you understand it and give a credit to my method. I can assure you, that it’s very effective. I must also say, that while the classes are for free, whenever a homework is not done, or I think it’s necessary, I grant me the right, as teacher, to punish somehow my student, that she takes seriously our classes. I am in favour of the old-fashion way of education. I hope you can accept it. If you are a good and applicant student, you don’t have to fear anything.
What’s App message: I see that you have a totally different opinion of other teachers and I am not afraid of “eine Strafe”. I was always very much fleissig (applicant) to learn German and I look forward to taking a chance on it. Tomorrow 17:00 at my place would be fine for you to bring the test?
What’s App message: Yes, what’s your address?
- “Ah, hello Mr. Schmidt”, said Leticia the next day when she opened the door for the teacher. Gerhard Schmidt was a tall man, around 65 years old, with a serious expression and using suit and tie.
- “Herr Schmidt, Leticia, Herr Schmidt! From now one, if you turn to be my student, we will speak only in German.”
- Einverstanden (Okay), added Leticia, very enthusiast to have the chance to restart a German course and with five classes granted for free.
As soon as Mr. Schmidt reached the desk Leticia showed him at her place, he took out three different tests in his hands from his suitcase. He took a discreet but good and deep look at Leticia, her body and decided for one specific test to give her.
- “You have 50 minutes to do the test.”
The first part of the test consisted in questions in German about the student’s private life. He asked there if the student is married, if she has kids, what’s her job or occupation, which number of clothes and shoes she uses, which size of bra….
- “BH? What’s that?”
- “You should not ask me anything, but in this case, I will help you. Just now. BH means Büstenhalter (bra), what you use to hold your tits.
Leticia thought it a strange question to be in a test, but she did not know that word and maybe, that’s exactly what the teacher wanted to know, if she knows this word.
The second part was a grammar test. There was a poem and by reading it, she had to complete it with the “maybe” missing prepositions.
The next part was also grammar. Leticia should conjugate some regular and irregular verbs in the Präteritum, in the Plusquamperfekt, in the Perfekt of Konjuktiv I and the Futur II of the Konjunktiv. OMG, that was a challenge for Leticia!
Leticia thought she was not so bad in German, but by that time, she started to doubt about her knowledge.
The fourth part was about “Text Interpretation” and consisted in three different texts extracted from three books of famous writers. She should read them and answer 5 questions related to the text. The first text was from James Joyce, the second from Dostojewski and the third one from Erasmo de Rotterdam. This part was impossible for Leticia to do. She could not answer one single question! She felt bad and quite disappointed.
- “Time is over! Said the teacher.
He checked quickly the questions she answered something and with a red pen made big X practically everywhere. While he marked in red the papers, he talked loud – “wrong…wrong…wrong…you did practically everything wrong Leticia! You don’t know really much German, isn’t true?” – “I thought, I knew. I study it with some pauses for 7 years”.
- “Seven years?! Well, obviously you are not much talented then, but don’t worry. People like you, who are extremely bad, are my favourite ones to help. It’s a challenge for me to make someone like you, not exactly talented, to learn and I like being challenged.
- “Well…I am not really happy to realize that I have still so much to learn, but, I am glad you can help me and if I don’t have to pay the first 5 classes, I have nothing to lose.
- “That’s it! Shall we start now our first class?”
- “Yes, we can.”
- “Good, I will give you a list of words, that you should read now loud for me show me on you what it is. What you don’t know you can ask me. This list you will have to know by heart to the next class, by the way. And as I said…I will be tough with you, if you don’t do your homework or if you don’t learn by heart what I order. But these words are probably very easy for you. They are the parts of the body”.
Leticia took the paper and started to read loud the words and use the finger to point herself here and there: - “Kopf, Hand, Bein, Fuss, Bauch, Fotze… Fotze? I am not sure if I know this word.”
- “Here in the middle of your legs is your Fotze Leticia”, said Herr Schmidt pointing his finger to his pussy. That’s a very important word to learn.
- “I thought, there is another word for it, although I also forgot it”.
- “You don’t have to remember other word. What you have is a FOTZE and you must refer to it this way. Now I will read a text for you and you tell me if you could understand when I finish. The text is about “Learning through a strict English education method”.
The text which Herr Schmidt read for Leticia told that in lots of schools around the world, students were often humiliated or physically punished by the teachers if they missed with the respect or did not accomplish with the homework. These punishments could be kneeing alone isolated in a corner of the class looking at the wall, could be wearing some donkey ears in front of others or showing a bad word on the forehead, like “STUPID” written by the teacher to show the lack of intelligence of the student. The teacher also reserved him/her the right to beat the student whenever he or she thought the student deserved it. It was certainly a good way to relieve frustrations and stress with this behaviour towards the students, but also a good way to grant more respect, discipline and concentration during the classes, according to the text. The text added, that statistically the students of those rigorous times, learnt 10 times more than the ones nowadays and the criminality was much lower. In the middle of the text, there were three illustrations which Leticia looked fixed at them. One was about a woman dressed like a young student, using a short skirt, a shirt, too pony tails and kneeing on the floor, in a corner against the wall. The second picture was about a woman bending over the desk of the teacher and he with a stick on his hand prepared to beat her ass. The third showed a woman standing in front of other students, using some pig ears and nose and carrying a plate hanging on her neck saying “dumme Sau” (stupid pig).
- Hast du den Text verstanden? (Did you understand?), asked Herr Schmidt to Leticia.
- “I guess so. That’s very hard to stand! “, commented Leticia.
- “That’s true, but as you see, the results of the teaching proved to be much more efficient. If a student was good, she had nothing to fear. But if she was lazy, stupid or missed with the respect towards her teacher, she was then punished. If you are confident that you are good, you also not have anything to fear in life, isn’t it? But if you are not good, lazy, do not work hard or observe the rules, life, the system will punish you, isn’t so?
- “Well…that’s true”!
- ” Do you know how was a skirt in the old times in a college? Can you imagine how did they dress? Do you see this way of making the hairs they usually had, with two ponies?”
- “Yes, I know, I see”.
- “For the next class I want you to be dressed this way, as a classic old fashion student”.
- “But I am almost 60 years old!”
- “And, so what? You are a student anyway!”
Leticia thought the idea very funny and could imagine, she would have fun on finding something in her wardrobe that could make her look as a young student.
- ” Ok, I will try my best.”
- ” Good! Don’t forget the Frisur (Hair style)! That’s very important. Unfortunately, time is over, and I must go. As homework, I want you to write me a detailed description using lots of adjectives of the following parts of your body: Gesicht, Beine, Arsch, Titten und Fotze. Detailed, did you understand?”
At this moment, something crossed her mind. She had the impression of having read in one of his messages from What’s App, that he likes the English education. Now she starts to understand what’s going on and she must decide soon, if she wants to play the game ahead and maybe even really learn German, but in a very different way or looking for a normal teacher. Actually, she thought, the idea of learning German this way seemed her very much exciting. She did not have husband, boyfriend, kids, she lived alone, what could she loose on that? “Let’s see how things go. If after these five classes I am not happy, I just cut it”, concluded Leticia.
- “Did you understand?” asked again Herr Schmidt with a firmer voice.
- “Yes, I did.”
- “Where did you have your mind now Leticia? You must pay attention to every word I say.
- “Ja, klar, Herr Schmidt.”
Gracias por leer!
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