The candle’s weak light reflected on the worn walls, flickering like an abandoned soul.
A robust wind slammed the broken window and burn the flame out. Rokah stood up facing the cold air, trying to close the sash when he glimpsed a black entity walking alone in this freezing weather. A scene like a droplet of ink sliding on white paper and leaving a trace of her fleeting existence.
He forgot what he was going to do and stared with curiosity...
The black entity was advancing at a slow pace, fighting the pile of snow with unbalanced steps. He tried to correct his walk by standing on a cane and that made it easy for an observer to spot the injury or the deformity in his right leg, even from this distance.
The raven long coat that he wore got trimmed by the snowflakes, and his long dark hair frisk with the wind, giving him the appearance of a lost ghost. Rokah could not see his face clearly, but the direction the lost ghost has chosen to follow gave him a sad image.
The curiosity in Rokah eyes transformed into something else, something blended with concern andglimmered like trembling light. A sudden urge to learn if his guess was right about the fate this person has chosen.
Rokah believed that he was not a sentimental person that he easily got swayed by emotions, but matters that touch the hidden part of his heart always reminded him of his blurry past and constantly proved him wrong.
In the end, he followed him till the cliff, where he stood near the edge, meditating to the sound of the hollow waves made by the wind as it hit rocks beneath.
It didn’t take long before he started approaching the edge, in the same slow pace, as if he was responding to the prayers of an angel.
What was wrong with Rokah at that moment? Why did he care?...
Fragments of foggy image flashed across his eyes like a forgotten dream. And without hesitation, he cried out piercing the thick layers of cold. It was as if there was somebody else inside him.
″Sir!. ... Sir! Can I draw you.″
Something like an illusion and everything seemed out of this world. when he sat in front of the man with the appearance of a black Ghost. Rokah placed a few sketches above a wooden table that shake with every movement he made. and he waited for the man to examine them and for the fat lady with the pig-like face to bring them what they have ordered which it didn’t take long.
Rokah found himself immersed in his observations of this person who didn’t resemble any anthropomorphic mongrel he had encountered in this village. it was a very rare sight in here.
He thought to himself that maybe the animal parts of this man were in a more discrete place. but the elegance that surrounded his demeanor, the smell of the jasmine that he emitted and the tidy clean style of his clothes gave Rokah a different impression related to the grace and well-being.
He also detected the anemic paleness of his white face and It puzzled him. Either this man had suffered from a long phase of malnutrition or he had recent massive bleeding.
Rokah couldn’t decide given the normal, healthy way, he interacted.
The lesion in his right leg seemed from this close distance more like an ancient injury than a birth deformation.
Rokah examined him while he was examining the sketches in his hands with seriousness, browsing them one by one. Rokah could tell he had a weak sight from the way he handled the papers.
Then the man gazed at him for seconds trying to organize his thoughts about the personal intentions and the gains Rokah will collect from this unwelcomed intrusion into his life. He nodded with understanding and said: “Are you a doctor?” Pointing at the anatomical sketch of an open chest.
Sensing the relief in his voice as if he discovered the reason why this unknown individual had called out to him.
A small curve formed on Rokah lips before he corrected this statement:
“It depends on your definition of the word, but I never consider myself as one.”
the man didn’t interrupt the formed eyes contact and asked with inquisitiveness as he put his joined hands under his chin: ″You don’t consider your self a doctor? then an artist, why do you want to draw me?″
Of course, Rokah said that only to get his attention and maybe to stop him from jumping into the depth of the uncertain valley. the reasons for him to interfere with this life and death decision, he wondered. Because people attempting to kill themselves never interested him.
" You picked up my interest.” He answered, his voice showed some hesitation as he wasn’t very sure of this response and the man in front of him detected it.
" It must be very entertaining!... Does this enrich your feeling of heroism?” The man sounded calm in spite of the anger in his words.
" It is more entertaining, capturing the essence of a man who decided to give up his own life on white paper,” Rokah responded starting to regret his unwanted interference.
“Even if you don’t know him, Even if you don’t know his reasons?” The man lost his first composure and the flow of his words sailed with anger and anguish.
“Death is one, death doesn’t appreciate our trivial reasons,” Rokah answered, he was confident this time.
The man closed his eyes for a moment and said with hoarse voice reviling his unfathomable melancholy. ″And life too.″
Rokah took an insightful gaze to the pale face in front of him asking himself about those reasons that made this person sink so deep to the point where he was ready to end his life. He shifted around observing all those anthropomorphic mongrels in the tavern, their deformed animal parts, ears, noses, tails, misshapen faces and legs struggling with their miserable lives and he looked better than them all.
Rokah sighed in objection: “No! Life gives us choices.” then he stood up trying to leave regretting his intrusion. but he couldn’t deny the tread of resemblance between this man and himself. In the end, he was just like him focusing only on things that he didn't have while blaming life for miseries he had created, and here he was, giving advises like he figured it all out.
The man watched him silently collecting the sketches then he asked him before he left: “Why do you draw?”
“For a lot of reasons,” Rokah said, surprised at the detour of speech ″ The most important is to mark my own existence... Probably″
A faint smile parted the man lips with a little burst of a surprise, then he asked again “Isn’t enough for you to know that you exist at this moment?″
“No, I am full of doubt.”
He closed his dark eyes again and gestured with his head up and down signing the acceptance of Rokah made-up request.
It came to Rokah that he somehow liked the stupid reply he gave. No, he actually liked this whole conversation.
Rokah felt that this man suicidal attempt was an act of calling for help. He was calling for someone to stop him, to talk to him. And thank god someone was there.
How much pitiful these kinds of people are.
Rokah understood clearly how hard and destructive to sick approval and comfort from others. And right now, he sensed a sudden urge to draw this abandoned soul.Aug. 14, 2019, 7:28 p.m. 0 Report Embed 2
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