Walking the Dog
I’m bored at work killing time waiting to get the hell out of here. I have the habit of leaving after my boss, so he thinks I work more than him, hence contribute more to the company. The office looks dull and sad. All I can hear is the sound of the air conditioner, some chit chat and the typing of my colleagues. Those sounds relax me, if I focus well enough it makes me forget of all the late projects I have. I wish I didn’t procrastinate and at least start doing something, anything, but I know my boss will go away soon and I excuse myself thinking it will not be worth it, I’ll do it tomorrow. I check my cellphone, no messages, no notifications, how boring! I have been waiting a message from the girl I like. We agreed to go out tomorrow, but she hasn’t answered to me in a while. It ´s not the first time I’m in this situation, we have been planning to go out 3 times now and there is always and excuse or she just stops answering. Why does she do this? I’ll be happier if she would just say no, but she keeps me guessing. Probably, when there’s not some better plan in her day I’ll get my chance. I would like to tell her go fuck herself, not in that manner obviously, but I haven’t fucked in quite a while and my arousal is bigger than my ego.
There he goes, my boss closes his computer, “Goodbye! Rest well and see you tomorrow”. He says with a big smile on his face. I like him he is a good person, from what I know off. I wished he would give me more direction and coach me more on my projects. I haven’t asked, I don’t want him to know I feel lost, stupid me, stupid ego. There aren’t many people left in the office and every 5 minutes I hear more computers closing. I can’t go right away, I can’t make it so obvious. Instead of responding mails or do something productive I open YouTube. Top 10 UFC knockouts of 2018 great! I love the UFC. I wished I was a fighter instead of rotting myself in this office, making dull presentations of how to sell more toothpaste. It is getting harder and harder to sell this type of products. We have as target not only to increase our own sales, but to increase the market size. We need to sell more toothpaste to the same people, its mental. Why would I buy more toothpaste than the year before? Well it’s my job to know and I have no fucking clue, and it doesn’t interest me to know one bit. Great video, good knock outs.
I close my computer as if I just finished a long task, stretch myself a little bit, pack my shit and stand up. “Goodbye everyone! Rest well and see you tomorrow, Chaolin”. I use the fucking same line as my boss, but with a little word game at the end “Chaolin” which is Chao with a lin at the end as a monk because I’m clever and not boring. I make myself way to the exit, not with out first flirting a little bit with a sexy coworker who always leaves late. She is thin, small with a great smile and glasses. Glasses have always turned me on. I get out of the office, as I walk to my flat, I see the horrendous traffic and I feel grateful of living walking distance. The gratefulness doesn’t last long though, it takes minutes if not seconds for the anxiety to kick in. What is my life purpose? Why am I in a job that bores me so much? Am I wasting my life? Is it only about money? Why does this girl doesn’t want to fuck me? Is it something wrong with me? I bet her best friend is fucking her.
Between random questions and mindfucking me I arrived to my building. I say hi to the guard and take the elevator up. The elevator door opens, and I hear banging and barks inside my apartment and huge smile appears on my face. I open the door and a huge shadow jumps over me and starts licking me all over. She barks, runs around, jumps and keeps licking me. Presley my dog is always happy to see me. Everyday she makes a celebration when I come home. I always tried to train her not to jump and to behave well, but how can you not like so much love showing. I let her do as she pleases. The celebration lasts for about 5 minutes and she starts slowing down and lets me pet her. “Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl? Oh, you’re so fat and pretty.” I tell her while rubbing her belly.
I got her 1 or 2 months after my mom died 1 year ago. My mom died of breast cancer, a horrible disease. I watched her slowly die for 1 year and a half, hoping she would make it. One day out of the nothing the cancer spread into her lungs, which made her hallucinate and not recognize me. Two days after she died. The pain was too deep. My brother, as wise as always, thought it was a great idea to get a dog for me not to be lonely and have someone to receive me at my home. He has a beautiful wife and a beautiful new born, so a dog for him was a no go. But for me it was a good decision. Petting her and training her distracted me and its always good to have someone to love and to be loved back. I name her Presley for Elvis Presley. I know it’s a male name, but I wanted to be clever and not boring.
After petting her for a while it was time for our evening walk, she is big and fat but very energetic. I put my gym clothes her leash on and off we went. We start walking and she starts sniffing and peeing right away. “Why did my mom die? Why didn’t I connect more with her? Why m-dckvd”. While mindfucking myself I feel a strong pool from the leash that almost gets me off balance. It was Presley watching a squirrel, as if she had never seen one before, she wanted to get as close as possible. My mindfucking to her was not important, she needed to get the squirrel. I play along and start stalking the squirrel with her like a hunter and his dog. Quickly the squirrel goes away and the attention of Presley comes back to me. She barks as if saying: “Come on let’s keep going”. I start walking again seeing her living in the moment, she is not mindfucking herself she is just sniffing and peeing and shitting and looking for squirrels, just having a great time with me. I let myself to be immersed in her world. I start feeling my steps, feeling the breeze in my face, watching the stars, listening to the cars go by and all the chatter in my mind goes away. I’m just walking the dog. I’m just happy.
March 15, 2019, 6:49 p.m.
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