Nov. 10, 2018, 8:41 p.m.
"Saved inside you, no one will steal from me the Phantomhive's most precious jewel." Undertaker said, finishing the last of a red head.
I do not know how, I do not know where, let alone when I started. I felt strange, I felt something inside me, but I never knew what exactly it was. I spent time and time with this strangeness that I ended up getting used to it, it was like he was never there, but he always was.
I also could not tell how or when I went into that forest surrounded by very green bushes, flower fields and animals. I was far from the Phantomhive mansion, away from the apartment, and I was far from William, far away. I also do not know when or how I met a man, a man whose was a demon. Demon very seductive or even more than Sebastian, Undertaker and William together.
I also could not tell when or how I became so close and intimate to this demon whose beautiful appearance, fair skin, bright red eyes, long hair as black as his heart that had been burned by the flames of hell. Just remember your lips declaring sweet lies, swearing love that I did not believe I could fall and fall in love, after all, demons do not love, right? This is more than obvious.
The memories I have are small, but enough for me. I remember the lips of that demon kissing my body, I remember his big hands and his black nails caressing and squeezing my body in the act of lust while he said we were loving, I remember him promising me the sky, the earth and the stars to make me happy. I never realized that all this time I was in the middle of a hypnosis, he hypnotized me and controlled me just like my sewing dolls and I obeyed like a dog like the phantomhive.
The demon whose name was Hew promised romantic and fanciful things, he also promised subliminal things to me, he controlled me in a way that even I had no control over myself. He controlled me like he was stealing something from me, something I should not have.
"Darling, I want to give you the world, I want you to own everything." He spoke again fantastical things which at the time did not understand their meanings. We were lying naked in a field at night and our bodies being lit by the moonlit light, our clothes were scattered across the green ground of the flowery field.
"You promised me that so many time.” I said smiling, silly, looking at him as if he saw a prince. How foolish of me.
"This time I will comply, but you need your help, after all, to have the world it takes an effort and merit, right?" He said smiling and saw in his alive red eyes a glow, a strange glow, his smile was never sincere, have always been ironic and controlling.
“Clear. But what help do you need? "I questioned him, still afraid.
"Steal the Shinigami Undertaker's scythe." he replied, undoing the smile and looking earnestly and earnestly at me.
"But what do you want his sickle for?" I questioned him strangely, and he kissed me, shutting me up and making me forget all the doubts in my mind.
"If you do, the world will be yours alone," he replied, opening a sweet smile but always with that strange gleam in his eyes.
And once more I obeyed your orders. When I saw myself I was at the Undertaker's funeral home, I do not remember exactly how I did or what I did, I just remember my naked body with his sleeping soundly and me stealing his "key" scythe. After that, I remember being trapped, lost in my own conscience, holding Undertaker's scythe in my hand.
I lost everything, lost myself, lost my judgment, self-love and my dignity. I destroyed everything, killed people without needs, destroyed cities, destroyed families and destroyed myself. I was blind in power, I was thinking they wanted to destroy me while they wanted to free me from the prison that Hew created for me. I fought against everything and everyone. I fought against Sebastian, against William, against the Undertaker and even against Ronald and fought against those who were once my friends.
I remember only a blow, a single blow and the sickle fell from my hand, I remember the thin, agonizing pain of the sickle entering and tearing into my body as blood gushed from my lips, I remember Hew to approach me as he became a terrible being, a being I have never seen in my entire life as Shinigami or as mortal, his whole body was deformed and large and he looked like a fusion of various animals and it was scary. I just remember him with his long, pointed nails ripping the flesh from my head and tearing something I already got used to and I missed right then.
"This does not belong to you, demon!" Undertaker cried, who had hitherto held me in his lap while I watched my cinematic and an unknown cinematic leave my body.
"This cinematic, it's Ciel's!" Sebastian shouted in surprise and Undertaker ran over Hew with his scythe which he swerved and Sebastian held his arms behind him to avoid any mobilization as the twins approached me.
"You were never my brother, my brother is not alive. You're nothing but a doll controlled by these cinetics that the Undertaker created. "Ciel said the one-eyed.
“Bizarre or not, I will always be your brother, always be loved and remembered by you. Confess, "Grandpa" is very clever, is not it? "His brother asked cynically.
As the fight rolled and the brothers argued, I only cried, I cried because my end was near and no one cared enough to support me or to say goodbye, I was in the same deplorable state of death, identical to that of Madame Red who was ignored, betrayed and rejected by everything and everyone.
Hew was already dead, did not know how or when they killed him, I just saw his dead face contorted with pain looking directly at me, while Sebastian, Undertaker and William fought for a soul. What difference does? What difference does it make between me and a soul? The difference is that I was a Shinigami and shinigami do not die, so why do I feel like I'm near the end?
My last memories were of an Undertaker and Sebastian wounded, and of Ronald screaming desperately "Senpai" over and over as Eric lifted me up making me vomit and lose more blood in an attempt to save myself.
Salvation that I never had and that was too late to have. Everything was late, too late to avoid, too late to save, too late to fix.
Now I am in the distant future, far away, remembering, having memories shattered and hard to put together. My posthumous memories.
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