Lily sat in her usual spot in church, her eyes fixed on the pulpit where Pastor James stood delivering his sermon. Around her, the congregation listened attentively, nodding in agreement with his words.
“... And JESUS said, in the book of Isaiah 60:1‘Arise and shine for thy time is come and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee’ GOD is saying to you arise and shine, GOD is saying to me arise and shine. Tell that to your neighbor arise and shine”
Everyone did as the pastor said, and she turned to the person beside her to do so.
Even with all that is being preached, Lily felt like an outsider, disconnected from everything going on in the service.
She had always believed in GOD since she was brought up in a Christian home and her parents had taught her the basis of Christianity.
Sunday morning meant she and her family dressed up in their finest clothes as they joined the congregation in worship to the most high.
Her mother would sing hymns with her melodic voice, she wondered why her mum never thought of joining the choir.
Lily, as a child, had followed their leading, soaking in the stories of faith and miracles that were taught in church.
She noticed that as she grew to be a young sixteen-year-old girl, the flame of her childhood devotion had dimmed.
Going to church felt mechanical, the hymns were now uninspiring, and the sermons felt like rehearsed speeches. It just didn’t feel the same.
She longed for something more, something valid, something deeper. She wanted to feel GOD’s presence like she had never felt.
This Sunday in church, the sermon just wasn’t hitting as it should. It wasn’t going too far up in her mind as expected. It just wasn’t that the Pastor wasn’t preaching the right thing. It was her and she needed help to gain that fire back.
Lily looked around at the other worshippers who appeared to be so absorbed in the service. Their faces were radiant with joy and devotion.
Lily’s best friend Sarah, sat beside her, her eyes closed in reverence. There was a glow evident on her face as if she had found a secret connection to the divine that she hadn’t found.
Lily turned her attention back to Pastor James, trying hard to concentrate on what he was preaching but her mind drifted off. She thought about the stack of unread spiritual books on her nightstand and wondered if they held the answers she sought she seek if they would help when rekindling the fervor of her faith.
“Somebody shout hallelujah” Pastor James screamed into the microphone and everyone followed suit. “Scream hallelujah”
“Hallelujah!” The congregation shouted. Some stood to their feet with hands raised.
“Amen,” he said.
“Amen,” they chorused.
The sermon continued and Lily somehow found herself clouded by her imagination. An imagination of her seeking to discover a depth of spirituality she has never delved into. She could see herself standing on a windswept hill, gazing at a breathtaking sunset, feeling GOD’s presence in the beauty of his creation.
The sermon concluded with the pastor calling to those who want to give their life to CHRIST. A few people stood up and repeated what the pastor said as a pledge to stay with GOD and avoid sin.
The congregation applauded them as they were directed to the back where the ushers were waiting to take their details.
“Now, that’s only what GOD can do. Bring people to his presence, those who are lost and want the way forward. Thank you JESUS”
“Thank you, LORD”
“Amen”
Service was concluded in no time and people started to leave to the hall where everyone came together to eat and mingle.
Sarah, Lily’s friend came up to her and held her hand in hers. “Service was great, right?” She grinned from ear to ear as she awaited Lily’s answer.
Lily just nods her head to avoid any further questions from coming. “Yes, it was” she managed a smile.
She knew it wasn’t right to lie but just to avoid further questioning, she had to say such.
She made her way out of the church and back home in no time. Sarah had gone the other way since she lived on the other side.
“How was the service today?” Her Dad asked her when she passed by him in the living room.
“Uh... Yeah, it was good sir,” she forced a smile even though his back was to her, she just didn’t want anyone to notice how disconnected she felt from her response.
“Good,” he said and dismissed her by the way e of his hand.
Lily turned around and walked up to her room. She let out a breath of air and then entered her room. Just as she was about to close the door, her older sister, Cory stood in front of her with a questioning look on her face.
“You don’t seem happy, anything strange happens in church?” Blowing out the gum in her mouth.
Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes “You don’t care,” she tried to close the door but Cory stopped her.
“Wait,” she placed one hand on Lily’s hand and the other held her cheeks. “Lily...” She stretched on “You’re right, I don’t care,” she smirked then turned around to head for the stairs.
Lily, who had a ray of hope in her when her sister looked at her like that felt a rush of warmness on her face, down to her neck.
“That girl” she humped.
***
Tuesday came in soon and it was the day when teenagers of the church come together for rehearsal, bible study, have little quizzes here and there, and where they could have a little pretend-camp in the garden beside the church as a little bonus for their hard work in the day.
Lily attended as usual with Sarah and just as she has been feeling over the past weeks... Months even. Still, it felt the same.
Nothing interesting, mind-blowing, or whatsoever. It was getting worse for her. Not even the leading role she got as the teen's welfare leader could bring the feeling she yearned for.
Sarah noticed her demeanor changed, so she asked.
“Are you okay? You seem kind of off since we came here”
Lily was taken aback but she recovered quickly and managed a smile. “What do mean?” She let out a laugh “I’m fine silly. Maybe I’m just stressed from school work” she waved it off.
Sarah didn’t look convinced but decided to let it slide. “Well, congratulations on your new role. Start of something new, eh?” She nudges Lily and all she can do is just maintain the little smile on her lips.
Days later while Lily was coming back from school, she decided to go to the park for a little walk. Sarah had wanted to come to her home but she brought things up so that she could go to the park alone.
Lily sat under a big oak tree, many thoughts wind through her mind. Thoughts of how she could go about building her faith lingered in her mind.
Her train of thought was interrupted by some noise. Lily looked up and noticed a group of people gathered by a bench some feet away from her.
Curiosity got the best of her, so she got up and walked towards the crowd. She wheezed her way through to the front and saw that they were all looking at a homeless man sitting on the bench.
‘why did they all gather him?’ she wondered.
The homeless man was Joshua, he was known by almost everyone in the community to be a good man who minds his business. Although, homeless he has never caused anyone trouble of that sort.
“Why are you all gathered around him?” She found herself asking “If you’re not offering any kind of help then stop staring,” she frowned, and slowly the small crowd of people dispersed.
Lily turned her attention back to Joshua and saw that he was looking down. He looked like a child that was reprimanded. Lily hesitated but after a long draw of breath, she walked closer to him.
Joshua looked up to her and she stopped in her tracks. There was something unexplainable that washed over her when their eyes met.
An aura of peace was seen in his eyes. They looked weary but still held a glimmer of something she couldn’t place her hands on.
Lily moved closer to him and then asked “Are you okay sir? Anything I could be of help to?”
Joshua smiled at her act of kindness “I’m fine miss,” he responded softly. “Just a bit tired, that’s all,” she could see the tired look on his face.
Lily couldn’t explain why, but she couldn’t just walk away from him. She had this sudden urge to do something for him.
“Would you like something to eat?” She asked “I could quickly grab you some food from the café there,” she pointed to the building at the other side of the road.
Joshua hesitated for a moment before nodding his head “Thank you, I’ll appreciate that”
Lily smiled then walked to the café to get both of them a quick meal and some takeaways for Joshua.
When she went to the café, thoughts whirled in her head. Thoughts of how he was able to feel peace in the situation he was in.
She returned in no time with a meal for two. She handed him one when she sat and opened the one she got herself. Joshua rendered a grateful smile to her and then started eating.
They sat for a while, just eating in silence. Lily had questions to ask but didn’t know how to.
“Is there something bothering you, miss?” Joshua asked.
Lily looked at him, eyes widened a bit.
“Erm... I’m just baffled. Like I didn’t need to ask but I could sense an aura of peace around you. You don’t look like you’re in a good place but you have peace within” she said.
Joshua chuckled “You know, it gives me joy when I get comments like that,” he tells her.
“Do you do that intentionally?” She asked “making people think you don’t need help when in fact you do need help” she completes.
“It’s not about intentionality, it’s about what’s rooted deep inside of you,” he said. “No one would want to believe me but I do feel peace within.”
Lily believed because she could still feel it around him but she wanted to know why.
“Yes, I’m homeless, yes I do need help, but no amount of help anyone will render to me can give me this much peace I have within”
“Why? Why do you feel such peace, even in this state that you are in”
“My faith in GOD and his faithfulness over my life has kept me this strong and going” he smiled “I did lose a lot of people, friends, family, etc but GOD still kept me. He sent people like you to come to my aid. I didn’t need to ask before he comes to my rescue” he explained to her.
“That’s what faith is? Believing in the impossible?”
“Nothing is impossible with GOD, you just have to believe he’s there for you always”
“And he’ll come through like he did now?”
“Yes miss”
Lily felt a surge of excitement going through her entire being. She’s seated beside a man who lacked material possessions but had a wealth of faith and inner peace in him.
It was exciting and new for her. This was something she hadn’t learned from church, her parents, or anyone else. She just knew faith was a strong belief in GOD.
Lily wanted to learn more from Joshua and learn more about the confidence he has in GOD.
Evening was approaching quickly and she checked the time on her phone to see that it was almost 5 pm.
“You want to head home now?”
“My parents might be worried now” she chuckled.
“Don’t let me hold you up then” he said “Thanks for the meal, I enjoyed it and your company too” he grinned.
“Aww, thank you and you’re welcome”
Lily stood to her feet and packed up the plate they used then handed him the extra pack of food she bought him. He thanked her and she waved it off.
“I would love to know more about you and this strong faith you have in GOD, I can come over anytime?”
“I’ll be here praying, this place sort of gives me calmness” he responded.
“Well then, I’ll see you later Joshua” she waved and he waved back.
Lily turned around and walked out of there. She couldn’t explain how she was feeling but she felt alive than ever. She felt like this meeting she had with Joshua was not just a coincidence, it was made to happen and GOD probably saw her struggling so he decided to answer her prayers.
“I hope I get to know more about you through this GOD” she hoped in her mind.
Bethel Gold
