I’d resolved NOT to fall again after a series of uncountable miseries. But years go by, and hough I’ve really changed, something within me still remains.
I sought to embrace the future, and let all these misfortunes be gone-by. But I don’t know how long will the decision last since thoughts DO have the power to make me lose my mind.
A change in perspective may help pull all this sorrow apart. Still, we don’t know. The future is not in our hands. Control may be an illusion, and so may be reality. SHIT.
Nothing will give me better pleasure than the fulfillment of my task. I will NOT let my fillings enter. It’s time to stop thinking and creating any kind of sensation to this HARMFUL creature.
And yet some part of me wants something from him, causing only pain and despair.
I don’t want to behold any tears nor any bitterness of heart because of uf a guy little worthy of any kind of affection. If I’m decided I have to get around and fight all this misfortune of mine. For only then will the future be bright.
I can hardly ever enjoy the sunshine
and curse that I only find it in your eyes
to be and independent stable being
is undoubtedly all I want.
and though I seek happiness
just the presence of your countenance
seems to pursue me while I try to conceal sleep
bringing nothing else than a deep and frigthtening feeling
of pure and utter wretchedness.
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