We have arrived on this new planet, and it is everything we require. There are even beasts calling themselves humans, walking around as though the planet is their own. Doc is certain these people will prove most useful as incubators for our young. We approach them tonight, to inform them of our take over.
The human people have not accepted our takeover easily. We approached the ones they call politicians, who appear to be their leaders. They cowered before us, before the one they call Abbott said he would declare war. They claim to have nuclear weapons, which they appear to have fired upon our craft. Upon our return, however, there was nothing more than a small shell on the ground after our defenses took the blast, proving their technology to be particularly inferior to ours. Whatever this nuclear stuff is, it appears as though it would have damaged the land upon which we were far more than it would damage us.
They have still not agreed to our takeover. We shall try again tomorrow.
Day 2 on New Frogtopia
The human people continue to resist our takeover. Today we approached the one named Abbott again. There were others with him, whom he claimed to be World Leaders. These World Leaders, as he so claimed, declared war upon us. The people they named security attempted to destroy our bodies with primitive gun weapons. The bullets did not even pierce our hide.
Tomorrow we shall bring force.
Day 3 on New Frogtopia
We approached the ones called World Leaders once more. They tried again to destroy our bodies, this time with long sharp objects, as well as the same primitive gun technology they used last time. It was not affective.
With no choice left, we took the one named Abbott's head, using the long sharp objects, which they named swords. With his head in our possession, the other World Leaders refused to back down. We gave them an ultimatum. They will give us their planet, which we will look after for them, and we will allow them to be a part of the process of incubating our glorious young. Or we will massacre the World Leaders. We will give them until tomorrow.
Day 4 on New Frogtopia
The World Leaders still insisted on keeping their land. My people have been intermingling with the average human people while I have been trying to deal with the ones they have called their leaders. They returned this morning with their information.
The human people are destroying this world. They call it Earth, though that will not remain as its name for long. The Earth, as they call it, is going to be destroyed regardless when their star - Sol - or Sun - is destroyed. They cannot even care for a simple - star. They did not know there was a way to nurture it so it continued blazing forever, never to implode and create a Black Hole. Such primitive beings.
Their disregard for their star is hardly the worst of it. They are destroying the planet itself. My people witnessed this thing casually called litter, as the human people discard their trash on the streets. They also witnessed the horror known as sewerage. Do these people have no toehr way to deal with their bodily functions? Despicable.
One of my best agents brought a human to the ship. This human person was eager to talk about the flaws of the World Leaders, particularly the one named Abbott. I questioned the human myself. It claimed that the one named Abbott was attempting to further destroy the world by researching against things that the human claims to already be proven to be destroying the world. What the humans call Global Warming is a small thing that will be dealt with easily once we have taken over their planet, and the one named Abbott wished to deny its existance, enough to pour what the human calls money - a system the human people use to barter for goods and services - into research to try to disprove it.
They even showed us an odd human custom called a high five once we showed them the Abbott one's head.
We will not be keeping this custom in place after the takeover. Humans may do it, should they wish to, though we ourselves shall not.
When we arrived back, the World Leaders were divided. Half wished to give us the planet, the other half wished to try to destroy us even further. The human people are an impossibly stupid, stubborn race. They will be thankful when we have fixed their pathetic world for them.
We had no choice but to massacre those World Leaders who opposed us. When that was finished with, the one human who provided us with information claimed there was one more, in the land it called Russia. A man, it said, named Putin.
We will deal with this one called Putin when the time comes to it.
Tomorrow we inform the human people of their new leaders.
Day 5 on New Frogtopia
We have set up base in the land place the human peoples once called Australia. Our bots were let loose on the land, to make it habitable. What was once dessert is now lush swampland. We have allowed their cities to remain more or less the same. In a few months, their cities shall be swampland as well, after houses have been built in the previously uninhabited parts of Australia, and the people themselves have been relocated.
My most trusted people have been instructed today to go to the other countries controlled by the World Leaders we destroyed yesterday, to begin the same process there. Others have gone with the World Leaders, who will instruct what were once their people in the new way of the world.
I myself have travelled to the land known as Russia. The one called Putin put up some particularly horrendous defenses. This thing known as snow was difficult to get through. He is surprisingly cunning for a human person. I have captured him and locked him up, as the bots make this land habitable, getting rid of the snow and ice to make way for swampland. I did not wish to destroy the one called Putin, as I did the one called Abbott. I feel as though he could be useful, later. I hope I do not grow to regret this decision.
Tomorrow, the doctors begin work on implanting eggsacks into the human people, so they shall become incubators for our glorious young.
We process all of our transactions with PayPal. Please don't close this window, and wait until you are redirected...