As i stare at my reflection, i imeditaly notice all my imperfections.My complextion has changed. I fear im even more derranged. i dont reconize my self. Im wearing a disguise, so many unwise choices my eyes seem darker, i feel voicless, for so long I've been breathless, carless,reckless,restless,selfish, also I've been selfless, hopeful, paitent, and even complasiant. with lack of education and lots of hesatation. So much dedication, with 4 tiny big insperations, I've got to change my situation, but with all the sleepless nights and endless thoughts of all I've lost my stomach ties in knotes and my chest gets to feeling heavy. All the stress has taken its effects. I'm so complex its perplex how do i correct this, .... All these blemishes from lifes hard struggles. I constantly stumble and fumble and still stay humble. How is it possible to be staring in the mirror and wonder who the imposter is staring back at you? is this how the world views me? I cant look into my eyes all i see my lies and all my crys of whys scaring my face...Am I a nut case? will I ever be the same? maybe its time I sit with my reflection and ask for and intervention.
well I got clean stayed sober for almost 2 years then it happened, I slipped up and relapsed sadly ......
I looked in the mirror and I could see it as plain as day…
I was looking bad again, looking rough Cause I slipped up.
Now its been 3 months, I think. My clothes don’t fit I know I need to quit. I’m trying to rethink back to when, how, I got here yet again.
Let me explain, no not defend. you see the demon preys on the weak. Sneaks up on you.
Makes you tweak, you won’t eat sometimes for days.
you’ll lose weeks,
When your brain is so loud, and ur a emotional wreck, plus the flashbacks flooding your thoughts, you just want, relief, Release, from all the negativity, it's what makes u vulnerable, that's when the demon takes the bait.
Its claws grab you, wraps around your hands and feet
controlling you like a puppeteer. And you see your
life unraveling, ….. beware because no matter how much you despise that demon,
it some how overrides and occupies ur brain. That’s a fact.
Now yet again I'm lost in my reflection, staring at myglossy eyes, my dark circles
My Thin face, sunken cheeks. I need an intervention. I take a minute to remember im a warrior! Fighting the war of addiction Lead by the demon also known as meth.
So I take a deep breath, and fight back with all my mite. This by far is the hardest of all. The demons suductive sister known as withdrawl. Because the demons poison at long term can be damaging, this sister tho shes what leads the lost and the weak back into the demons grip. Her wepons include, but not limited to, depression, anxiety, delusions, intense cravings, sever fatiuge, phycoses, congitve issues. Even makes u delirious, Its serious, The good news is I can and will recover. I reflected on realization. Learned not to fall for the demons bait because I deserve a better fate.
Thank you for reading!
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