Something I never took into account as I mourned each person I lost was that, although their bodies fade over time, their memory never disappears completely. You carry it with you every minute of every day, a reminder of what you once had and never will again. Before you, Loki, it all happened so fast I didn't have the opportunity to absorb the pain, to wallow in it. Now I do and I can't stand it. Surviving hurts so much I wish I had perished with you. At least then we would be together.