Mirka Guartatanga

"She was beautiful in the most artistic way, you could photograph her silhouette and it would still be as beautiful as the rest of her. You could lose yourself in her eyes and be happy when you don't find your way home. " Mia finds herself all alone and she desperately wants to love and be loved back without life getting in the way. But she never imagined the consequences and the fear her suicide will unlock. Join Mia as she discovers the story of how she has always been in the company of death

Drama Nicht für Kinder unter 13 Jahren.

#suicide #drama #death #love
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Dirty old cigarette lighter

The full moon was in the middle of February's starless sky; the moonlight iluminated cars, trees and lovers who took refuge in the lonely alleys to avoid being seen. It was almost midnight and only those brave at heart would dare to leave the safety of their home in such a frightening night. Well, only those brave at heart and those who had nothing to lose.

A small flame from a dirty old cigarette-lighter, a cigarette and a pair of lips moving to the sound of the wind... the street was deserted, except for the woman who left a trail of smoke behind her. The sound of her black heels on the pavement was amplified by the silence around her, and a single pair of eyes from a small window would be witness of her presence that night. She looked sick, as if she had not eaten in days and her pale skin turned blue in her lips and fingers in reaction to the cold of the night.

She had nothing to lose, everything she cared about had been already taken away from her and although she had vowed revenge long time ago, her strenght was running low and her determination too.

Who was she going to seek revenge from? From destiny? From God, if it existed? Someone told her years ago, in a very poetic way, that God would not give her tests she could not overcome, that she should be like a Phoenix reborn from the ashes of its own destruction, but she was smart enough to know it was a banal attempt to confort her in one of the many funerals she attended. 

The tip of her heels crushed the cigarette-end she had thrown on the floor while she lit a new one between her lips. She smiled slightly but her brown eyes had no emotion whatsoever. The body of the addict received the smoke with fascination and her long, thin fingers clung to the cigarette as if it could give her the affection she once had and lost. 

She was beautiful in the most artistic way, you could photograph her silhouette and it would still be as beautiful as the rest of her. You could lose yourself in her eyes and be happy when you don't find your way home. People secretly begged to get caught in the cobweb of her jet-black hair and her smile could lift the spirit of the sinner doomed to hell. Her voice was soft music and the sound of gunshots at the same time, she could say the most dazzling words to everyone around her, but standing in front of the mirror she would destroy every inch of herself just using words. She wasn't happy and couldn't remember the last time she truly was.

And that's probably why she killed herself.

She walked for another ten minutes with nothing but the sound of her heels to make her feel less lonely. Her appartment was at the top of a hill: a small house in a small hill with a great view of the city surroundings. She glanced at the landscape one more time and with silent tears running down her face, opened her front door to find everything exactly the way she left it. 

With a deep breath, walked to the bathroom undressing herself and throwing everything on the floor. She wasn't safe anymore, she was at the mercy of her own mind and she wasn't really nice to her. Lighting vainilla scented candles with her dirty, old cigarette-lighter, she took a long bath feeling a little more human when she put on her best black dress, fresh out of the dryer. 

"It's a beautiful dress to die in", she mumbled to herself looking at the reflection in the mirror.

She remembered every funeral she had been in and remembered how clean and new the clothes were and, hoping someone would make her look clean and new for her funeral, she went to bed and took almost two dozen sleeping pills with a shot of tequila everytime she needed it. She cried herself to sleep for the last time. 


She couldn't know how much time had passed since she fell asleep, but the room was colder and darker than it had ever been, the only source of light was the pale shine coming through the window. She wasn't sure she was alive but neither was she sure that she was dead. She stood up to look at herself in the mirror but as soon as she left the bed she knew something was wrong. Very wrong.

There was strange human-like figure hidden in one of the darkest corners. Its shoulders were shaking violently and its head was bent down which resembles like a silent prayer. She looked at the bed, deciding if it would be wise to run towards the exit but she saw herself laying down in the bed not moving. She now was completly sure she was dead and was happy about it, althought she couldn't say why. 

The figure took a few steps into the moonlight and she realized it was just a teenager sobbing in grief but no real tears came from his eyes. She wondered if he could be able to see her, and what was he doing there. The boy's face wasn't familiar and she was sure she had never seen him before. But for some reason, he was sad about her departure. 

"I'm sorry, Mia... I'm really sorry" she heard his whisper and their eyes met for the first time. She wasn't invisible to him, so what was he?

"Sorry about what?" she tilt her head to the left, vaguely intrigued but not knowing what he was talking about. She stared for awhile, his skin was slightly darker than hers but he looked... dead. There was no blood rush through in his face and definitely there were no tears in his eyes. "What are you?" she asked. 

"I'm death, I'm here to take you with me... and I'm so sorry" he fell to his knees sobbing desperately with his head hidden in his hands. She couldn't understand what was going on and fear was just one of the many things she was feeling.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked again, louder. Death looked into her eyes and she knew it was a silent prayer for forgiveness. She felt sorry for the boy and tried touching his hand but their bodies couldn't meet. Feeling helpless, found herself sitting down on the floor by his side, watching him while he tried to say something.

"All my fault... sorry... I could never... I never wanted... Forgive me... if I could... I would take it all back if I could, you have to know that" 

"What's going on? You're scaring me" Mia saw the determination in his blue eyes and waited for a reply. 

"I'm the reason everyone around you has died... but I never wanted this for you" he shook his head, breaking the eye contact and staring at the lifeless body laying on the bed. She took a moment to hyperventilate while walking up and down the small bedroom. She felt at the edge of tears, and only when she covered her face with her hands she realized she couldn't cry. No tears came from her eyes but the pain was unbearable

"That's not possible" she said after a while, trying to believe that the afterlife and their inhabitants had sense of humor. A very dark sense of humor.

"I'm death. It was possible for me and now I'm paying for the consequences" His blue eyes wandered around the room and even though he wasn't sobbing anymore, Mia knew he was feeling the kind of pain that grows in your head before you tell something that's going to break a heart. Or in this case, a beat-less heart.

"Why are you doing this to me? Leave me alone!" 

"I can't"

"Why not?" 

"You're one of us, now" They moved closer, but it didn't matter how closer they got, they couldn't touch each other and the regret in that pair of blue eyes shredded her soul. If he was truly Death, and if he was the responsible for all the... no, she couldn't believe it to be possible. 

"I'll tell you everything" he said after a while, "but you need to know also my reasons" 

"You mean the reasons why you killed my entire family and most of my friends?" she said bitterly. It's all a nightmare, I'm going to wake up any second now, She said to herself. He looked wounded for a moment. 

"I loved you... I still do. But I couldn't stay away, even if I wanted to. I was so selfish, because to see you I had to... it's complicated" he took a deep breath and the air went everywhere but his lungs. "I'll show you" said firmly.


"Trust me"

"No" wounded again. If he really killed everyone she once loved, he isn't trustworthy.

"Please, I'll take you to my memories of the first time I saw you... the day you were born" he wanted to hold her hand but couldn't. And, without waiting for a reply and with a quick snap of his fingers, the room changed and they found themselves in what appeared to be a very very clean hospital room. 

Mia read a calendar that was on the bedside table and then, terrified, looked at the bed. A pregnant woman was sobbing in the arms of his beloved. They were in 1997. They were in the day of her birth and those were her parents.

11. November 2017 06:08:47 2 Bericht Einbetten Follow einer Story
Fortsetzung folgt… Neues Kapitel Alle 15 Tage.

Über den Autor

Mirka Guartatanga 20 years old and I'm writing from a country you'll soon forget the name of. I love writing and I hope you find a piece of my shattered soul somewhere in between the words you read. Bookworm and really trying to be the person I was before everything went downhill.

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