My dear sweet Rose,
Well, here it goes. I don't know why I'm writing this. I half hope you read this...and half hope you don't. That small, selfish part of me wants you to be just as miserable as I know I would be if you were the one leaving me. But, like all the love and loss stories portrayed in movies and books, part of me also hopes you have moved on by the time you read this and only think about me once in a while. Like when you catch that faint smell of the first hints of autumn in the air. It is a smell that can't be described in words, but a smell that we both love. Rose, it's okay to find someone else to share your love with. As you can tell, my feelings are all mixed up. But, what's new? That's how they've been since I met you.
It was eight years ago that it first happened. The big C. You weren't there for that one; but, I won't go into the gory details here because, well, you basically have seen a repeat performance of it over the past year. I didn't write this to make you feel bad. I know you feel incredibly guilty and that I only went through with it because you asked me to. You try to hide it from me, but I hear you crying when you think I'm asleep. And...I might have eavesdropped on a conversation with Sophie one time. Regardless, I'm glad that I did it. It gave me more time with you, and that has been worth it.
No, my lovely Rose. I guess I wrote this because our story needs to be told, even if it's just to you. Even if it's just to this blank page because you decide not to read it. It is a great story. And that is what you will find here. Our story. The beautiful, the messy, and everything in between. These words are my heart poured out on these pages to you. Everything my heart knew but my brain couldn't put into the right words at the time. Let's face it, my brain gets all tied up just looking at you. Sappy, I know.
As I write this, you are sleeping soundly in the recliner next to the bed, as has been your habit for the past too many nights. You take my breath away, even snoring beautifully as you are now I might add. (Yes, you do snore.) I don't know how to get this right, but I'm sure going to try. I actually researched how to write a great romance. It seems they all have pretty much the same elements. There's the prologue, introducing the hero (that's me, of course), introducing the heroine (you), the setting, the meet cute, the plot, the heartbreak, random bits of fluff, and the happily every after.
So, my darling, here you go. The elements of our story. Let me know if I got it right.
I'm sorry. I love you. Please read on.
Vielen Dank für das Lesen!