I understand. I know why you despise me, I loathe myself too. As ignorant as I am, I understand basic morals nonetheless. This missive itself is an affront to the paper it is being written upon. Yet, even though I understand, I can not change my self. My horrible, disgracious, idiotic self. I plead you not forgive me, for I do not deserve it. I am writing this missive for myself, not you. All apologies, I am still horrible and selfish. This miserable being called me, means to explain itself, although it won't change a thing.
Because, my soul is truly pathetic and longs for understanding, as small and useless as it may be. I would stay a ghost as long as this need isn't satisfied. No desire I have for lingering the earth after my death. And so, I am writing this in haste before my turn comes.
On the case of spilled coffee, squashed foot, and mispronounced names. My spirit, as uneducated and low it is, frequently makes missteps. I would not dare ask for forgiveness, but please understand my weakness of mind.
On the cases of silent treatments, harsh words and hard stares. I am a petulant being, my character is weak and lacks of understanding and patience. I am deeply sorry for all the negative emotions I have caused.
I recognize myself as truly abominable. All the misunderstandings, blocked ways, hurt feelings and disgust I caused I can not begin to understand all the bad I created. My small brain won't accept this fact without breaking down.
I am a mediocre being, please understand me for it. As I cannot bare the feeling of guilt and shame, I hope my turn comes quickly.
Vielen Dank für das Lesen!
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