My heart beat heavily.....
The world was beginning to go hazy.
I knew exactly what I was doing, and why I was doing it......
But I was afraid someone would find me.......they would try to save me.
There's no saving a lost soul.
I breathed in and out, every breath slowly becoming more shallow and weak. I didn't mind it. I wanted this....
It was the freedom I had long been waiting for.
I slowly turned my head, my weak body lying on the floor as if it were a bed. I could see a silhouette.....it's figure I easily recognized. I understood it's presence......and I finally will be free of it.
Free from it's grasp.
Free from the world.
It all sounded like a fairy tale to me, but as freedom pumped through my veins, I reminisced all the good memories I had while I had them.
I remember the time when Noah crashed his bike going down hill for the first time. It was funny, until an hour later he was getting a cast on his arm....haha....that day was interesting.
Or the time Damion and I got into a mega snowball fight last winter. We both were soaked in snow, and I almost got hypothermia.....if only I did.
Memories are so precious. It's like a never ending video, but more genuine. It's within you......you can relive it in your mind.
Memories can be so great at great times....but they are hell at hard times. When you have to replay the same horrible thing over and over in your mind like it's on replay. Having to feel that same emotion every single time it maneuvers it's way to the front of your mind.
It's touch feeds on you.....the memories causing your reality to feel like a nightmare.
A nightmare that you never wake up from.
All of those bad memories are washing away from me. My mind is beginning to shut off. I'm not upset by it. It makes me happy. I wanted this.
I needed this.
By setting myself free, and wiping myself clean of my memories.....I won't ever be able to remember the good times. The bad ones I will never regret being gone. But by taking the bad, I'm also taking the good.
The world was built this way. The world causing everything to come with a price. Even happiness.....happiness always comes with a price.
Which is why I blame this world for causing me such bad memories.
I blame the world for causing my heart to stop beating.
I blame the world for creating this monster.....this monster I see before me.
The shadowy figure slowly edged towards my even weaker body. It looked down at me.....it's face I couldn't see. But I knew what it was here for.
It wasn't for my freedom.
It wasn't for me to to finally put the bad memories to ease.
It was the very thing that imprisoned me in the world's cage.
What left me to set myself free.
It was coming to feast on my fading mind, it doesn't give up.....even on those becoming free.
It has attached to me.....it has for a long time now.
It's the world's creation. The world of which should be shameful of creating such a monstrous thing.
A thing that doesn't ever leave.....
Unless you set yourself free.
Even at my last moments.....it comes to collect more of me......not like there's anything left to collect.
It tilted it's head at me, and bowed down. I could see it's smile piercing my eyes. I knew what it wanted.
But I was going to be free......free from it......free from the world.
I smiled and shook my head.
"You can't hurt me." I told it inside my mind.
And before I knew it.....
I was free.
Vielen Dank für das Lesen!