I will never understand why I need to feel so much pain… All this constant erosion going on in my brain… It's like my head is exploding from dealing with all of their shame, sometimes I wonder who is really to blame? with all these thoughts trapped in my mind lost in the dark leaving me blind… Crushing my soul and deconstructing my mind… These answers I need, I fear I will never find, so here I sit forever losing my mind… RJW 2018

I feel your resentments, your frustration, yes your anger too… But I don't feel it with you like a partner is supposed to…  You throw it all at me like a house collapsing on my head! Everything that is bothering you crushes me dead… Everyday I feel the weight as it gets even harder to take, harder to breathe, I don't know how you live this way with all that rage? I am on my knees held hostage in your anger cage… RJW

A broken piece of my heart can't be mended with a sorry from you. You left me in despair. I isolated myself from my friends and family. They were the only people who truly cared about me. You changed me. I became a monster to myself and everyone. You were nothing, but a narcissist. I endured everything for the sake of my love for you. When I chose to break away from you for good, you hit me. I had to lie to my family to protect you. I did it everytime because I kept you as my hidden crack.

I'm scared and afraid with so much I think I should say... So much dismay my nerves are so frayed…Would you be angry if I say I am not very thankful today? Would you be angry if I say I want more than a few text as daily interactions with the man that I love each day? would you be mad or sad if you knew how much my heart hurts today? maybe you just don't understand all my dismay? But my love no kiss goodnight? Has me up in my dreams looking for another who won't make me feel  that way...RJW